


Meant to Be

by btvscharmedgirl



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-01
Updated: 2017-10-06
Packaged: 2018-05-30 09:13:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 70,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6417670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/btvscharmedgirl/pseuds/btvscharmedgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set during 2x15 and after. Lexa did what she had to do to save her people, but she could just leave Clarke behind. She had to save her too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Show of Strength

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the 100. I am merely playing with the characters for our enjoyment.
> 
> Hi all. So this is my first 100 fic, which is also post on fanfiction.net. I was running out of fics to read so I figured I would try my hand at it. The 100 is consuming my life in the greatest way. Please let me know what you think. I live for my readers. I apologize for any mistakes I may have missed.

Lexa stood tall and unwavering next to Emerson as they told Clarke of her betrayal. Her heart broke at the look Clarke was giving her, but she couldn’t let that sway her decision. She had to save her people even if it meant she would lose the woman she had grown fond of. The woman that she was certain that she loved. 

Hurt and betrayed filled eyes, welled with unshed tears. A look of disbelief ever present on her face. Lexa paused for only a moment hoping that Clarke could read her eyes. Hoping that there was still a little bit of trust left there. She was sorry for doing this. She was sorry for the way she had to do it.

With a final look at the doors, Lexa followed her retreating warriors down the mountain. This was not the plan, but plans rarely stayed in play once the battle began. She would not be a good Heda if she wasn’t flexible and quick to think of a new plan. Many battles had been won with on-the-field plan changes. Today would be no different. She just hoped that Clarke would forgive her for her deceit once the war was won.  
They reached the bottom on the mountain in quick time, and there she sent her closest generals to round up a group of their stealthiest warriors. The battle was not over. The war still raged. The Skiakru still needed them. 

Lexa lead Indra and a small group of twenty back into the reaper tunnels. They entered the mountain through the door Octavia and Clarke left open, and split into three groups. Lexa pulled out the map Clarke had drawn her of the mountain lay out. She sent Indra and her group to the dorms where her people had been held. She knew that the Skaikru prisoners would be held somewhere near there. She then sent Lincoln (who had woken up from being knocked out just before they headed back into the mountain) to level Five. She had a feeling that the ‘innocent’ residents of the mountain would congregate near their food source. Her instructions were simple, kill those who tried to stop them from retrieving any Skaikru, but spare the innocent. 

Lexa and two warriors made their way through the mountain, heading toward the command room. If she knew Clarke at all, she knew that she would go to where she could control everything at once. Clarke had tried to explain to her the complexity of the Mounon’s technology, but she understood very little of what the blonde said. What she did understand was the only piece of information she needed thankfully. Everything in the mountain was control by computers, and all of their computer were in the command room. That’s were Clarke would be. She would be the one place she could see and control everything that happened. 

Gunshots could be heard ringing through the hallways, echoing eerily. It was a reminder that they weren’t up against an even opponent. For a moment she wondered if she should have brought more warriors with her, but then that would be more men and woman she was sacrificing.

A single gunshot rang out more clearly than the others. This gunshot was muffled but closer than the others. Fear crept inside her chest when she realized that the shot came from the place she was heading. She quickened her speed down the hallway. A Mounon came around the corner and opened fire upon them, just as Lexa reach the door. The warrior to Lexa’s left, (a young woman not much older the Lexa) stepped in front of Lexa to protect her leader from the spray of bullets. As the warrior’s lifeless body slumped to the ground, Lexa tossed her knife at the Mounon. It landed in his unprotected chest. He continued to fire his gun as he looked down at the knife in his chest in shock, before his body went slack and he fell to the floor. 

The General behind Lexa came up behind her and applied pressure to her thigh. She looked down at his hands in surprise and anger. No one dared touch her without permission. Then she noticed the blood seeming out of her thigh, staining his hands red. She hadn’t even realized she had been hit. 

She pulled at her cape and tore off a large strip and handed it to the warrior to tie around the wound. She didn’t have time to deal with such a thing. She had to get to Clarke. She had to save the Skaikru. 

The door to the command room was surprisingly unlocked. Lexa and her General stepped through the doors with their swords held high, ready to strike at any one who dared to harm Clarke. There were only three people in the room, three Skaikru. Clarke and two other’s that Lexa didn’t recognize. 

Clarke was standing at a computer with her hand covering a lever. A tall man, who Lexa assumed was Bellamy, was standing right next to her, with his hand on her shoulder. 

All three of the Skaikru turned to look at the door, Clarke and Bellamy with their guns raised high. Monty looked at the commander in surprise and then looked at the monitors. More grounders were flooding into level Five and into the dorms. 

Clarke turned to the screens and saw what Monty was gasping at. The Mountain Men who were drilling into her mother, and holding the rest of her people captured were taken by surprise as the grounders filled the room, killing all that fought them. 

She turned to Lexa with hard eyes. “You’re too late. I already did what I had to do to protect my people.” The words were said with no emotions. Simply stating a fact that she did what she had to do. She wasn’t happy to see Lexa, or relieved. She was numb to it all. 

“What did you do Clarke?” Lexa asked, confused. 

Clarke turned to the screen that captured level Five. “I killed them all.” She then turned around and ran out of the room, past Lexa and her General. 

Lexa followed the blonde as quickly as she could, trying her best to ignore the pain in her leg. She skidded to a stop inside a large room filled with tables, and gasped at the scene before her. She schooled her features to not show her shock. She knew how badly Clarke was going to hurt for this. How much she was going to want to ripe her own heart out. She hurt for Clarke, but in a way she was proud of Clarke. Proud that Clarke had been strong enough to do what she needed to do in order to save her people. Proud at the leader Clarke had become. 

She also knew that Clarke’s people weren’t going to understand what she did. The boy on the floor holding one of the mountain girls, didn’t look relieved to know he was saved. He was angry with Clarke for killing his love. She could understand that. She knew the pain of losing the one you love at the hands of another. He wouldn’t forgive Clarke. He wouldn’t understand what she did. 

They were moving again. This time they were heading towards the dorms. These people looked relieved, but they don’t yet know of the Mounon’s fates yet. They don’t know what Clarke did to save them. Lexa wonders if these Skaikru will understand more than the boy on the floor. She wonders if they will continue to look at her and her warriors with appreciation when they learn of her betrayal. When they learn that she left them in the mountain to die. 

She heart broke at Clarke quiet declaration to her mother. “I tried to be the good guy.” 

The phrase confuses her, but she understood that it caused Clarke pain. She couldn’t help but shoulder some of the blame for Clarke’s pain. If she had stuck to the original plan then maybe Clarke wouldn’t have done what she did. She did what she had to do to save her people though. Yes she had lost warriors who entered the mountain with her, but not nearly as many as she would have lost with the original plan. She couldn’t rescue people who were already dead. 

Lexa’s vision began to blur and she found herself struggling to keep herself standing. She could hear Heda being called as her would went black. 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Irritating voices invaded Lexa’s peace. “Shof op,” She croaked, cringing at how weak she sounded. 

“Welcome back Commander.” 

The voice sounded familiar to her, but her brain was foggy. She was having a hard time placing the voice with a face. 

“Come on Commander. It’s time to wake up,” the voice said. 

Lexa cracked an eye open, and regretted it. Bright, harsh lights, blinded her sensitive eyes. Refusing to look weaker than she already did, she forced herself to open both eyes. She looked around the large cold room. “Where am I?”

Abby came into view. “You’re in the Ark Commander,” she said. Abby was the voice she was hearing. “I was starting to worry you would never wake up, and an all-out war would break out in the camp. Indra has been getting restless.” 

Lexa sat up slowly, and tried to remember what had happened. The events on the mountain flooded her mind. She tried to slip out of her bed, but was stopped by the woman in front of her. 

“You are not strong enough to do that. You’ve been asleep for a week, and your leg is still healing.” 

Lexa didn’t try to hide her surprise at hearing she was asleep for a week. Hearing that though only solidified her decision to get out of that bed. She slipped off the bed, but was stopped by an irritating tugging on her arm. She looked down and stared curiously at the tube sticking out of her arm. 

“It’s called an IV,” Abby said, noticing Lexa’s curiosity. “It allows us to put water, medicine, and nutrients directly into your blood stream.”  
Lexa looked up at Abby in awe. “We have much to learn from the Skaikru, but first I must address my people. Beja, take this out so I may dress.” 

“No,” Abby said firmly. “It took me twelve hours to remove the three bullets and repair the damage to your leg. You are lucky you are alive. I am not going to let you risk tearing the stitches and getting an infection because you are stubborn.” 

“I am Heda. I cannot show weakness. I must be strong for my people even when injured,” she said, and then ripped the IV out of her arm. She ignored the stinging in her hand, and the dribble of blood that leaked from the tiny wound. She looked around the room for her clothing, but didn’t find any. “Where are my clothing?”

“Destroyed. We had to cut them off to operate on your leg,” Abby said, and then sighed. “I will send for something, if you allow me to look at you wounds one more time before you go.” 

Lexa looked unsure for a moment, but nodded her head slightly. She climbed back on the bed, and allowed Abby to look at the wounds. She was confused by the older woman. Abby had always been very cautious around her, very untrusting, and now Abby had her proof of that distrust. She had betrayed the alliance. She had betray her daughter and left them all there to die. So why was she helping her.

“Why are you helping me?” she questioned openly. 

Abby looked up at the Commander. “Because I need you alive,” she said, unknowingly repeating the words her daughter had spoken to Lexa just a few weeks before. 

“I betrayed your daughter and the alliance,” Lexa said. 

“Yes, but you came back,” Abby said. She went back to cleaning Lexa’s thigh. “I’m not happy at what my daughter had to do because you deferred from the plan, but Clarke made it clear that you were to be spared. That the alliance had to be kept in place in order for us to survive. That is why I am helping you. Because by keeping you alive, I keep my people alive. The last thing I want is to fight a frivolous war with your people because I let their Commander die.” 

“And what of your people? Will they hold true to the alliance?”

“They will do what needs to be done, even if they don’t like it,” Abby said. She wrapped a bandage around the thigh tightly, and then stood up. “The question is, are you and your people going to throw us to the wolves the next time it conveniences you?”

Lexa’s eyebrows dipped in confusion. “I do not understand this phase. Why would we through you to the wolves. That would not aid my people.” 

Abby chuckled. “It means are you going to hand us over to the next enemy, if it means you save your people.” 

“Oh. Why did you not just say that then?” Lexa asked. 

“Because I didn’t realize grounders wouldn’t understand metaphors.” 

“Very well,” Lexa said, and slipped of the bed. “You have my word that I will not break the alliance again. I will find a way to save both our people, just as I tried on the mountain.” 

“Your word means very little to me,” Abby said dryly. 

“And it is not you who has to trust my word. Clarke is your true leader. She is the one the spirits chose to lead your people, even if you do not accept this. It is she who I formed the alliance with, and it is she who must trust that I will keep my word.” 

“Clarke is a child,” Abby sneered. “She is barely eighteen. She is in no shape to lead us anywhere.” 

“Age is not measured in years on the ground. Leadership is not given to people just because they are of age. It is given to the people chosen by the spirits. It is given to the people who deserve leadership. To those who are strong enough to make the tough decisions, and to protect their people at any cost. Clarke knows this. Clarke showed true leadership and strength in that mountain. She sacrificed her mind and her heart to protect you. She did what had to be done. Can you say the same? Would you have killed everybody in that mountain if it meant saving your people?”

Abby looked at Lexa with hatred in her eyes. “No. I would have found another way. That girl who did that in that mountain was not my daughter. That was the shell of a person you created by leaving her.” 

“No. That girl was not the daughter you remember from your boat in the sky. That girl was weak and scared and caged like an animal. The Clarke in that mountain was strong and fearless. She is a true leader. I would be proud to call her my Heda.” 

“You have a warped sense of what makes a person strong,” Abby said. 

“No. You just are too weak to recognize her strength,” Lexa said strongly. “I wish to speak to Clarke.” 

Abby looked at Lexa with unshed tears. “Clarke isn’t here. She left camp right after we returned from the mountain.” 

A brief look of fear crossed Lexa’s features, before she schooled her features. Lexa didn’t look back at Abby as she strolled out of the Medical Bay, still wearing the worn out hospital gown. Indra stood just outside the doors waiting impatiently for her commander to wake.

A look of relief passed Indra’s features at the sight of her commander. “Heda. I am glad to see that the Skaiprisa’s mother did not kill you.”  
“As am I, Indra,” Lexa said. “I require clothing.”

Indra turned and lifted a satchel off the chair sitting there. “Everything you require is in here, Heda.” 

“Mochof,” she said, thanking the woman for her quick thinking. She began pulling on the offered clothing right there in the hallway. “What of Clarke?”

“I have three scouting crews out searching for her. We have no found her yet,” Indra said. 

Lexa looked up from pulling on her second boot. “Clarke is unfamiliar with our lands.” 

“But she has been learning beside the best warrior alive. It is a reasonable assumption that she picked up a few things, and can now effectively hide herself from unwanted people.” 

“Clarke is a quick learner, but not nearly quick enough to hide from our scouts,” Lexa said. She tossed the gown to the floor, and pulled her shirt over her binding covered chest. “Clarke showed true strength in that mountain, but even the strong are not able to hide from the spirits that haunt one’s dreams. We must find her before she allows the spirits to consume her mind and heart.” 

“Heda,” Indra said hesitantly.

“Speak what is on your mind, Indra,” Lexa said. “Speak true.”

“You slept for seven days, ai Heda. Perhaps you should regain your strength before helping to search for the Skaiprisa.”

“I have rested enough, Indra. As you said. I slept for seven days. That is enough. I want Clarke found.” 

“Sha Heda,” Indra said strongly, proud of her commander for powering through any lingering fatigue she may feel. She led Lexa out of the Ark and toward the gates. She noted that they were open. That gave her some hope that they trust her people not to attack them. 

“What of the Skaikru? Who searches for her?” 

“Octavia and Lincoln are leading a group of the imprisoned Skaikru in the southern border. Bellamy is leading the rest of them in the western sector. Raven was badly injured while blowing up the damn, but she has a strong spirit. She is communicating with the Skaikru, and our Trikru scouts using a metallic speaking box from her bed in the Arc. She maps where each team are and where they have been.” 

“And what of the Azgeda?” Lexa asked. 

Indra’s eyes widened in surprise. “Heda, we have been at peace with the Azgeda for years.”

“The Mountain has fallen, and so has our mutual enemy. I cannot trust that Kwin Nia will honor the Coalition. I cannot afford to rule her out as an option.” 

“Azgeda would be foolish to break the coalition,” Indra said. 

“Sha,” was all Lexa said. She hoped that to be true, but she was no fool. She knew better than most what Nia was capable of, and how power hungry she was. She wanted to lead the Twelve Clans, and she had in the past shown that she would do anything to achieve that goal. Now that the Moutain had fallen, she knew that Nia couldn’t be trusted. 

Silence elapsed over the pair as they searched the words for Clarke. They walked to the bridge where Clarke first met Anya, and then to the dropship. Lexa knew it was a long shot, but she had to check regardless. They moved on from the drop ship and moved around the woods in no particular direction, looking for any clue that would lead her to Clarke. 

The midday sun dipped low in the sky, and the moon and stars began to shine. They had been searching for hours with no results. “We should head back to Camp. We have tents set up inside the Skaikru’s walls. There we will regroup and review Raven’s maps.”  
“Sha,” Lexa said simply. 

The trek back to Camp Jaha was quiet. Lexa found herself tiring fairly quickly. Her thigh was thumping painfully, and she could barely keep the limp out of her walk any longer. Indra noticed, but chose not to comment. She knew that her Heda was trying to be strong, even in front of her. 

Camp Jaha was loud and lively when they entered the gates. Food was being passed around, children were playing, and groups of people sat around burning fires talking avidly. A few mingling grounders came to greet them, having been worried about their leader. Lexa assured them that she was fine, better than ever even. She could see Abby watching her from around one of the camp fires as Indra escorted her into the arc. 

Raven’s room was small, and cramped. There was just a bed and a desk in there. Octavia, Lincoln, Bellamy, and three of her most trusted Generals Tyko, Mina, Isabel were standing around the bed that was occupied by Raven. They didn’t notice that she had entered the room until she was standing behind Mina. 

“If I had been the enemy, you all would be dead right now,” she deadpanned, scaring the entire group. Mina, Tyko, and Isabel all feel to one knee out of respect. “Never let your guard down. Until Clarke is found we must assume the worst. There are dangers that lurk even during times of peace.”

“Sha, Heda,” the three Generals said as one. 

“Stand,” Lexa commanded. She moved past her generals and kneeled next to Raven’s bed. “Indra says you were injured during your mission. How are you?”

Raven looks at the commander in shock. The Lexa before her was not the Lexa she had previously met. This Lexa was softer, kinder. “I’m okay. My hip will heal. How are you Commander?”

“My wound heals,” She stated. “I owe a great deal to you Raven of the sky people. Your knowledge of bombs fascinates me, as much as it terrifies me. If not for you, my people wouldn’t have escaped.” 

“You would have figured out a way,” Raven said. “Just like Clarke did.” 

“Clarke is strong,” Lexa said. 

“She should have to be that strong. You should have been there for her,” Octavia spat. 

Lexa stood and turned to her generals and ordered them gone. The three of them left the room without so much as a squeak in protest. Indra closed the door behind them and then turned back to the group. She wasn’t surprised by Octavia’s anger. She had fully expected it in fact. 

“I did what I had to do in order to protect my people,” Lexa said. “The same as Clarke did for her people. Plans change in battle. I could not decline the offer to save all of my people trapped in that mountain. To reunite them with their families. With their mothers, fathers, lovers, and children. I did what I had to do. I changed the plan to protect my people, but I never would have abandoned Clarke. I needed her reaction to be real for the plan to work. Emerson needed to think that I was retreating so he wouldn’t be watching me. I had hoped that she would know that. That she would see it in my eyes, but she didn’t. I was too late to shoulder the burden of what must be done. For that I am sorry, but I will NEVER apologize for doing what was best for my people.”

“You will do well to remember your place Octavia kom Trikru,” Indra said.

Octavia looked at Indra in shock. “I thought I was no longer Trikru, because I stayed.”  
Indra looked indifferent. “You have the spirit of a warrior. Skaikru are your people too, and you were doing what is best for your people.” 

“I… Sha,” Octavia said, and bowed her head in respect. 

“I will not be so lenient the next time you disobey a direct order,” Indra stated threatening. 

“Sha.” 

“Okay, can we please talk about Clarke, because I’d like to find my friend,” Raven said from her bed. 

“Sha, Raven kom Skaikru,” Lexa said, and then kneeled again. “Show me what has been searched.” 

Raven pulled the map closer to Lexa. “The green is Bellamy’s team, red is Octavia and Lincoln, blue is Mina, orange is Tyko, and purple is Isabel. We marked each section of the map in little squares, and when each team is done searching each square we mark an X. Each team has checked each square of the map at least once. We are expanding out of the area’s Clarke is familiar with, and into new territory.” 

“Why is Mount Weather not marked off?” Lexa asked, interrupting Raven. 

Bellamy scoffed, “There is no way Clarke would return there after what we had to do.”

Lexa stood up and glared at Bellamy. “And that is exactly why she would go there. She will be in the last place you would expect to find her. She knows you will never look for her in the mountain, so that is where she will be.” 

“That’s actually kinda smart,” Raven said, thinking over the logic. “Damn. Why didn’t I think about that?”

“May be your hip damaged your brain,” Octavia joked. 

“Very funny,” Raven said, and tossed her pillow at her friend.

“I will leave at first light,” Lexa said, and looked at Indra. “Prepare a bag with food in it enough for you and me. 

“Hold up,” Bellamy said. “I’m not letting you go into the mountain to search for her without me. She is ours not yours.” 

“Come if you choose,” Lexa said. “But she will not come for you. You do not know what she is feeling.” 

Bellamy’s eyes flashed with anger. “Don’t tell me I don’t know what she is feeling. I was there. I helped her pull the lever. I helped kill those people.” 

“But it was not your decision to do so. I know this. You are strong Bellamy kom Skaikru, but for all your strength you show weakness. You never would have made that decision. This is something that only Clarke can burden. That is why you are here, and she is not. She needs time to heal the wounds that she inflicted upon herself. Until she can accept what she did for that of bravery and strength, she will only ever see the death. Can you do that? Can you show her the strength in her decision? Can you make her believe that she did the right thing?” 

Bellamy remained silent. 

“Skaikru are weak and naïve. We must make you strong if you want to survive. I must make Clarke stronger if you want to survive. Without her, your leaders will destroy you. Without her, this alliance will crumble.” 

“You don’t care about Clarke. All you care about is this damn alliance,” Bellamy spat.

Lexa’s eyes flashed dangerously, and she wished she had her sword to pull on him. “Do not presume to know what I care about.”

Bellamy had the good sense to back up. Even Raven tried to back up, which wasn’t possible with her current position. Bellamy through his hands up in defeat. “Alright. We’ll do it your way.” 

“Sha,” Lexa said. Her anger at the man questioning her loyalties to Clarke was still very much present, and it showed. Her whole body was tense and the occupants of the room were sure that she would strike Bellamy if he made the mistake of questioning her again. 

“We leave at first light. Whoever is coming, be ready to go, but know that it is I who will bring her back. If that is a problem then stay behind.” 

Lexa turned quickly and left the room, with Indra following close behind. As the walk away from Raven’s room, they heard the bedridden woman exclaim, “That girl is terrifying!”


	2. Weakness

Inside the Dropship- Seven days before

Clarke sat on the floor in the center of the dropship, staring out of the open door into the dark rainy night. She was cold, shivering slightly, and wished she could start a fire to warm herself up. She still wore the clothing she went into battle wearing the day before. Tears leaked from her swollen blue eyes down her cheeks, mingling with the dirt and grim she hadn’t bothered to wash away. She was sure that she looked pitiful; weak. 

She didn’t care though. In her mind all she could see were the burned faces of the people she killed. The children that she slaughtered. She had sacrificed over three hundred people to save forty-four of hers. People that she couldn’t stand to be around. Some who had looked at her like she was a monster. 

That’s because she was a monster.

Her chest constricted, and she let out a loud sob. She wished she could take it back. If she had waited just a few more minutes, then they would be alive. Lexa and her people had come back. They had showed up and were fighting their way to her people. If only she had waited just a few more minutes.

But she had no choice. She knew this. She really did. Lexa had left her. She had taken the deal offered to her by the Mountain Men, and left her there to figure it out. She had betrayed her.

Except that she didn’t. She had come back with warriors to fight. Lexa did what she had to do in order to save her people. She understood that, better now than she had just a few days ago. In that moment on the mountain the understanding her mind gave her wasn’t enough. Because in that moment, it had been her heart that ached. It was still her heart that ached. It was her heart that felt betrayed. 

Clarke feel into a fitful sleep, waking several time through the night because her dreams were haunted. As the sun started to rise, she gave up. She had allowed herself to have a night of pity, but she had to move. She knew it was only a matter of time before her mother started sending search parties out for her, and this was the first place they would look for her. 

She didn’t know where to go. There was no place she could go that would keep her hidden from them. She just couldn’t see them yet. She needed time.

Clarke ventured out into the cold morning, grateful that the rain had stopped. She started walking in the direction that would take her further away from the Arc, and the search teams that were sure to be looking for her. 

Hours past as she walked through the woods aimlessly, numb to what was around her, numb to the world. The sun was high in the sky before she realized where her feet were taking her. There she stood at the base of Mount Weather, looking up the giant hill with dread in her heart.   
She didn’t question why her subconscious had brought her the mountain. It would be useless to try and figure out. Instead, she walked towards the reaper tunnels, and made her way back into the mountain. 

The smell of burnt, rotting bodies hit her senses as she stepped off the elevator on level five. Her breath hitched, and she used her jacket to cover the stench. Tears welled in her eyes as she walked toward the dining hall. Fear crept into her chest, and for a second she thought about turning back around and running out of the mountain.

She pushed herself to walk into that room. The room was as it was when she had seen it two days before. Every body was displayed out where they had been sitting to eat, reading, playing ball. Unlike the last time she had been in that room, she forced herself to look at every face. She walked around the room trying to put a name to any of the face she was seeing. She had only met a handful of people during her brief time with them.

In her mind she tried to figure out if each person had been a friend to their cause, or a foe. She tried to determine if they had been okay with what Cage was doing, or if they even knew. 

Tears flowed freely from her eyes once more. She collapsed onto the floor where a little boy no older the three, who had died playing with blocks. He had been innocent. He did nothing to deserve to die like that, and yet she had killed him. She had killed them all. 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Clarke spent the next day and half in that room, just staring at the bodies. It was in the early hours of the third day that she decided she couldn’t just sit there and stare at them any longer. She had to do something. She couldn’t just leave them there to rot.

For the next several hours Clarke drug body after body out of the mountain. She would load as many bodies as she could onto the lift and then bring it up to the ground level and drag them outside. By the time the sun rose over the mountain, Clarke was exhausted. Her body ached from dragging nearly thirty of her victims out. She was cold, tired, hungry, dehydrated, and about ready to collapse. 

Still, she managed to drag another load of bodies out, before her body gave out. She laid on the cold grounds under a tree, and allowed her body to rest. She didn’t sleep for long. She dreamt that the bodies she already dragged out of the mountain, raised from the dead and attacked her. 

The nap gave her enough energy to make her way back into the building. She stopped at the kitchens to get a drink of water, relishing in the cold liquid as it coated her dry mouth and throat. She hadn’t realized how thirsty she had gotten, nor how much her body craved food. 

After eating an apple, she went back to work. For the next four days she repeated the same pattern over again. She would drag as many bodies out of the building as she could only stopping when her body could no longer hold her upright. She would sleep until her mind fought back, and ate and drank only when she felt ready to pass out from the lack of nutrients.

It took her three days to haul out the bodies in the mess hall, and another day searching the rest of the building for any people who died in other areas. Once she was sure she that she had all the bodies outside, she started preparing the funeral pyre. 

During the process of removing the bodies, Clarke had decided that she was going to put the people to rest in grounder tradition. She knew that it would be dishonorable to the families of the Mountain Men’s victims to bury the dead on their ground. It went against their beliefs, and it would serve as a constant reminder that the Mountain Men weren’t gone. That their spirits remained to haunt them forever.

Three hundred and eighty people. Clarke had counted each body and check them off on a tree. Only a hand full of those people met there death from bullets, or an explosion. The rest had been from the radiation she let in. 

All three hundred and eighty people were piled up in the clearing next to the door. Clarke wanted to build them a nice funeral pyre, but knew that wasn’t going to happen. She didn’t have the time or the energy to wrap the bodies, and there were just too many of them to build the nice pyre like the villagers of TonDC had built. She would try to build one as nice as she could. 

She went back into the mountain and retrieved a shovel. She then found a spot flat enough and big enough to shovel a hole about a foot deep and in the shape of a rectangle. Once the hole had been dug to her liking, she drug fallen tree branches into the hole and laid them out nicely. After the hole had been completely filled with branches she start dragging the bodies the pyre, and laid them out as nicely as she could, stacking them on top on one another once room ran out.

Once the bodies were in place she went and got more branches to cover the bodies, so the fire wound consume from them from all angles. After all the bodies were heavily covered with tree branches, Clarke went and drug large rocks to line the pyre with. That way the fire couldn’t spread through the woods. 

The sun was high in the sky by the time she finished. She was exhausted, and near ready to collapse. All she had to do was light the pyre on fire and allow the spirits to pass to the next life. She pulled the box of matches she had found out of her pocket, and looked at the long box.   
She lite the long match and whispered, “Yu gonplei ste odon,” before bending over and lighting the kindling on fire. She repeated the process a dozen more times until the pile of bodies were consumed by the flames. Black smoke billowed into the afternoon sky, swirling in the soft breeze. 

Clarke couldn’t help but imagine the souls of her victims rising high in the sky through the black smoke. She stood there watching the pile burn, numb to the world around her. 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Lexa growled in frustration. The sun was already high in the sky, and they had yet to reach the mountain. They had left camp much later then she had wanted to because of the Skaikru’s interruptions. First, Bellamy had trouble getting on the horse and staying there. It took him three tries till he finally managed to not lose his balance. 

The five riders were making their way to the gates when Abby came running from Arc, demanding that the gates not be opened. She refused to allow the gate to open until Lexa allowed her to look at her leg. She followed Abby into the arc after attempting refuse several times. They were already behind schedule, and arguing with Abby was getting her nowhere. 

Finally they were able to leave, but not without a few extra people. Abby had refused to let them leave without at least two of the Arc’s guard with her. Lexa quickly realized what Abby was doing. The older woman didn’t trust her, and instead of fighting her on it, she left two female guards climb on the back of Octavia and Lincoln’s horses. 

The ride was bumpy and tough for the inexperienced Skaikru, and the group found themselves stopping several time along the way to allow them to rest their sore muscles. Bellamy had even fallen off his horse at one point because he hadn’t seen a low hanging tree branch until he was on the ground staring up at it.

Lexa had the good fortune of being directly behind Bellamy when that happened, and had damn near laughed when she saw it. She had kept her composure though. Barely. 

They were nearing their destination when Lincoln spotted black smoke billowing over the trees. Lexa followed his line of sight and cursed in trigdasleng. She knew exactly where the smoke was coming from. She and Indra took of up the mountain in the direction of the smoke, with the remaining group following behind at a slower speed. 

Lexa reached the clearing first and dismounted her horse before her horse had even stopped moving. She ran towards the burning pyre. There stood the reason she was on the god forsaken mountain. Clarke was standing in front of the pyre staring up at the billowing smoke. She hadn’t heard Lex and Indra approach on their horses, nor did she hear Lexa’s footsteps.

Lexa gently laid her hand on Clarke’s shoulder. The blonde was startled to have somebody touching her, but even more so to find it was Lexa. It had been a week since she looked at those green eyes. “What took you so long?” She asked lightly. 

“Your mother used her medicine to keep me asleep while I healed. I only woke yesterday,” Lexa said. She lowered her hand. “Our people have been looking for you.”

“I’ve been here,” Clarke said. “You knew where I was.” 

“Yes. They didn’t think you would come back here,” Lexa explained. 

“I didn’t think I would come back here,” Clarke admitted quietly. “I just started walking and ended up here. Then I couldn’t leave. I couldn’t just leave them there to rot. I had to set them free.” 

“And you have,” Lexa said. “But it didn’t free you.” 

“No. It hasn’t.” 

“It will get easier,” Lexa stated. 

“By shutting my feelings off,” Clarke angrily stated. “I am not you Lexa. I won’t hide from them like you. Not this time.” 

“Your anger is justified. However, that is not what I meant. You were right about what you said to me in the tent. I do hide from my emotions. Love is not weakness. Love is what gave you the strength to save your people. I am not you however. I do not have the luxury of submitting to my heart. You do, and I think that is why you are stronger then I.”

“I am weak. I took the easiest way out of this war and it cost nearly four hundred lives.” 

“You did what you had to do in order to save your people. You did what even I could not accomplish. My people have been terrorized by the mountain for fifty years. They have taken, tortured, killed, and turned my men into reapers. Thousands of lives over the last fifty years have been taken because of those people. Thousands of families have been destroyed, and thousands of my people have lived in fear. Now we can have peace, for you have saved us all. You have save thousands of future victims, and you have saved families from being destroyed. You are anything but weak.” 

Clarke looked at Lexa, and for the first time in four days she cried. She cried for the people she killed, and for the people that the mountain men killed. She cried for the families who lost loved ones at the hands of the mountain men. She cried for Jasper who was hurting because she killed his love, and she cried for herself. 

After a week of pushing herself physical father then she had ever been, not sleeping properly, and barely eating and drink, she was exhausted. Her knees buckled underneath her, and she would have fallen to the ground had it not been for Lexa’s quick reflexes. 

It was then that Lexa could see how thin and weak Clarke looked. Her clothing hung loosely from her body, there were dark circles under her eyes, and her lips were dry and cracking. She looked over her shoulder to where Indra was standing with the rest of their party, and yelled for her canteen. 

Indra uncorked the leather pouch and handed it to her leader. Lexa gently put the lip of the bottle to Clarke’s mouth and instructed her to drink. Clarke did as she was instructed. Lexa didn’t allow her to stop until the entire canteen had been emptied. 

“Lincoln, put her on my horse,” she commanded.

Bellamy moved his horse closer to hem as Lincoln moved to pick up Clarke. “What are you going to do with her?” 

Lexa stood up and glared at the man and his distrust. “I am going to take her back to the Arc, and her mother.” 

“Then give her to me,” He demanded confidently. “You are the reason she is like this. You’ve done enough.” 

Lexa’s glare turned dangerously hard. “You can barely stay on that horse with just yourself upon it. What makes you think I can trust you to balance Clarke without knocking both of you off?”

Bellamy looked embarrassed by her question. “Then allow Octavia to take her.”

“Leave me out of this bro. If Heda wants to take her, let her. There is no use fighting it.” 

Bellamy looked around the group weighing his options. “Fine.” 

Lexa nodded her head at Lincoln, and watched as her place Clarke on the laying horse. She waited as the horse raised itself up, and then climbed on behind her. She wrapped her arms around the blonde and made Clarke lean back against her.

“Octavia, Lincoln, stay with the Skaikru and make sure the bodies are all burned, and the fire doesn’t spread. Then meet us back as Camp Jaha.” 

Clarke shifted in Lexa’s arms. “No,” she said weakly. “Don’t take me back there. I can’t. Please.” 

“Very well,” Lexa said. “I will take you to TonDC.” 

Bellamy rode his horse closer to them. “No way. You’re taking her to Camp Jaha.” 

“I am taking her where she wishes to go,” Lexa said, and then turned back to her warrior. “Take the Skaikru home and then both of you are to return to the village by sundown tomorrow. There is much to discuss.” 

She then turned to Indra. “Ride to camp Jaha and bring Abby to TonDC. Tell her to bring the bags she used to keep me with water while I slept. She will know what I am talking about.” 

“Sha Heda,” Indra said and turned and took off. 

Lexa looked at Bellamy. “Ride if you choose, but you must keep up. I will not stop if you knock ourself out.”

Bellamy scoffed, but followed Lexa regardless of her warning.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

The soothing sensation of a wet rag being wiped over her face woke Clarke from a deep slumber. She gently opened her eyes to see Lexa was the one wiping her face clean. She looked around at her surroundings in confusion.

“We’re outside of TonDC in my tent,” Lexa said softly. 

Clarke attempted to sit up, but Lexa pushed her back down. “You need to rest. You burn hot from a fever.” 

Clarke looked confused, she had felt weak from exhausting herself out over the last week, but she hadn’t felt sick. “I was fine before you brought me here.” Her words were spoken as a fact, instead of an accusation. 

“You were dehydrated, starving, and cold. You worked tirelessly to accomplish your goal and neglected yourself. You probably didn’t realize that you were growing ill.” 

“How long have we been here?” 

Lexa rung the cloth out, and placed it on Clarke’s forehead. “Two days. Your mother allowed Nyko to fill your nutrient bag with herbs to allow you to sleep peacefully.”

“My nutrient bag?” Clarke questioned curiously. 

Lexa pointed to the bag hanging off of her head board. Clarke looked and realized what Lexa talking about. She hadn’t even noticed the IV tube in her right hand. “She was here a few hours ago to replace the bag. She didn’t let Nyko to put the herbs in this one because she gave you a shot and didn’t want them to have a counterproductive reaction. We have much to teach each other.”

“I would like to spend time with Nyko once I’m better. If that’s okay?” Clarke said. She relaxed into the warm furs. Her body felt cold, and her head hurt. She probably caught a cold from sleeping outside during the cold nights. 

“That will be fine Clarke,” Lexa said. She stood up and walked into the main room of the tent to speak with her guards, and then returned as quickly as she left. “I’ve sent for Nyko and your mother.”

“No. I don’t want to see her,” Clarke said, and tried to sit up again. 

Lexa pushed her back down. “She is your mother Clarke, She has been by your side for two days waiting for your illness to ease. She only left because of a disturbance at Camp Jaha.”

“Is everyone alright?” 

“Sha,” Lexa said, nodding her head as she spoke. “Not everyone at Camp Jaha is accepting the presence of my warriors welcomingly. A few have started fights they could not win with my men, and more are refusing to learn what my people try to teach them. They are not taking kindly to my warriors retreat from the mountain.” 

“Can you blame them?” Clarke asked coldly. 

Lexa didn’t flinch at the cold tone. “No I cannot. They are weak, and do not understand the choices that must be made.”   
“Am I weak? I don’t understand the choice you made. I don’t understand why you couldn’t follow the plan.”

“No Clarke. You are anything but weak,” Lexa said softly, and busied herself by replacing the rag on Clarke’s head with a clean one. “We would have lost, if I didn’t take that deal. I would have lost too many of my people, and you would have lost too many of yours.” 

“We could have spared many more lives if we stuck to the plan,” Clarke insisted. 

“No. Emerson showed me my people on the inside. They were trapped, and about to be shot. All of them,” Lexa said. “They were the reason I was there. What victory would it have been if all of my people had been slaughtered? They mountain would have remained, and our people would all have died. I took the deal to save them, but I had no intention of letting them win. I gave them a false sense of victory. I gave you a chance to rise to your strength, and you did. You destroyed the mountain. You won this war. You save both our people.” 

“At what cost?” 

“Victory rides on the back of sacrifice. This time it was you who had to sacrifice a piece of your soul to win. I have stood where you are Clarke. I have looked down on the massacre that I ordered in distraught. A war waged between my head and my heart for weeks, before I realized what I did was right for my people. I do what needs to be done, no matter what pain it costs me.”

“But you hide behind a mask and pretend that you don’t care,” Clarke stated. 

“I must appear strong, even when I am weak,” Lexa said.

Clarke looked at Lexa sadly. “Life should be about more than just surviving,” She said, mimicking her words from a week before.

“One day it will be,” Lexa said confidently. “Peace has been a dream of every Heda before me, but none has been this close to achieving it. I have already brought twelve warring clans together as one people, and soon I will bring Skaikru into the fold as well. There is one war that may need to be won, and then peace will be upon us.” 

“And what are going to do about my people if they don’t fall in line?” Clarke asked, fearful of the answer. 

“They will fall in line. Once they see that we are no threat to them. That all we want is to help them survive here. My people are very grateful to you Clarke. They wish the Skaikru no ill will.”

“Heda?” came a voice from outside Lexa’s private quarters.

“Enter Nyko,” Lexa said, and moved away from the bed. 

Nyko enter the room with a bow to each of them. He carried a bowl in his hands and a knapsack over his shoulders. He set the bowl down on the table next to the bed and pulled his knapsack off. He pulled out a thin glass stick and handed it to Clarke. She opened her mouth and place the thermometer under her tongue. 

Lexa and Nyko waited in silence for the thermometer to read Clarke’s temperature. After what felt like a year of awkward silence, Clarke finally pulled the thermometer out of her mouth and read the digit. “Thirty-nine degrees.” 

“That is good. Right Nyko? It was forty-one earlier,” Lexa said eagerly. 

“Sha Heda,” Nyko said, as he took the thermometer back and placed it back in its holder. It was then that Clarke noticed Nyko’s knapsack was actually her mothers. Nyko pulled out a wrist watch and looked at the face. His face scrunched in confusion, and then smile softly when he understood what it read. “I must give you a shot now, Skaiprisa. I am sorry if it hurts.”

“That’s fine Nyko. I’m sure you will do fine,” Clarke said. She tried not to let her pain from the needle show. Shots didn’t normally hurt all that much, but her skin felt like it was on fire from the fever. 

“Soup,” Nyko said, pointing to the bowl. “Eat. It will help ease you head.” 

“Thank you Nyko,” Clarke gratefully said. 

“You are welcome Skaiprisa. I must go tend to others. I will return in a few hours.” Nyko said, and then bowed before leaving.   
Clarke went to sit up again, and this time Lexa helped her, instead of pushing her back down. Lexa picked up the bowl and handed it to Clarke, who took it gratefully. Her stomach hurt from the lack of food it had received for over a week. 

She ate in silence, thinking over what Lexa had said to her. She understood why Lexa did it. She knew now better than anyone the sacrifices that had to be made in order to keep her people safe. Nobody was going to understand why Clarke killed all those people. Only Lexa could understand. The memory of Lexa leaving her on the mountain was still fresh in her mind, and the hurt she felt in that moment hadn’t faded. She was comforted by the thought that Lexa had come back, but she was still angry at the brunette. 

She finished the boar and potato soup, and set the bowl to the side. Her head felt slightly better because of the steaming stew. She suspected that the shot Nyko gave her was pain relievers. She settled back into the warm furs. 

“Are you comfortable?” Lexa asked. 

“Yes,” Clarke said softly. 

“Is there anything you need, or would like?”

Clarke looked at Lexa and smiled at her eagerness to help her. The commander was still there, but a softer side to Lexa was peeking through the tough exterior. “I’m fine Lexa.” 

“How about a bath? I can send Rae to draw you a bath. It should help you feel better. I always feel better after a bath,” Lexa said quickly and stood up. Before Clarke could even reply, Lexa as walking out of the tent. 

“I guess I’m going to get a bath,” Clarke muttered to herself, slightly amused by the commander’s antics. She pushed herself up, throwing the war fur off of her, and moved to the edge of the bed. She noted that she was no longer in her blue shirt or her jeans, but a pair of sweet pants and a clean t-shirt. They weren’t worn and frayed like the clothing on the arc. 

Lexa returned just as Clarke went to stand. She moved closer and helped Clarke up, and carefully walked her to the bath hut. Thankfully it had been spared by the missile. She sat Clarke on a stool, and hung the bag off a bar holding the curtains up. She then turned to dismiss Rae.   
Clarke looked around the dimly light hut curiously. There were a dozen steel tubs sitting in two rows of six, with privacy curtains surrounding each tub. There a large drum sitting in the back of the hut, that Clarke assumed held water in it. She had never used the baths here, opting to clean herself up at the Arc instead. 

“I will step out so you can have some privacy. I will be on the other side of the curtain if you need anything.” Lexa stepped away from Clarke and drew the curtain closed. “Your mother said to keep your hand dry.” 

Clarke looked at the closed curtain numbly, and began to undress slowly. Her head was pounding, and she was feeling a light headed. Whatever sickness she caught seemed to be kicking her ass. She finally managed to rid herself of her clothing, and sank into the steaming water. She inhaled deeply, enjoying the feel of her nasal passages opening up, relieving some of the pressure in her head. 

She washed her body, eager to remove any trace of the last week off her skin. Her head was easily the hardest to wash, since she wasn’t able to submerge her right hand. She thought about asking Lexa to help her with it, but thoughts of their kiss filled her mind. She didn’t know how she felt about Lexa, not after she left her on the mountain, but she did know that she didn’t want Lexa to see her naked body. 

With her hair as clean as she could get it, she exited the tub. A chill swept over her as she reached for a large cloth to dry herself. Her head started to hurt more intensely without the steaming water to sooth it, and her vision swirled slightly. She grabbed onto the chair to steady herself. Nausea over took her and she leaned over and vomited into a bucket next to the tub. 

Lexa, who had been standing just outside the curtains, asked if Clarke was okay.

When she got no response, she stepped into the curtained off area. Her breath hitched slightly at the sight of Clarke’s naked body hunched over a bucket. In an instant she was across the small area and threw a drying cloth over Clarke as she continued to vomit into the bucket.  
“It’s okay Clarke,” she said, as she rubbed soothing circles onto Clarkes back. Once Clarke finished vomiting she stood up, wrapping the large drying cloth around her body. “Do you feel better?”

“I was until I got out of the bath,” Clarke said weakly. 

“We should get you back to bed,” Lexa said. She looked back to the curtain unsure if she should leave Clarke alone or not.

“I’ll be fine Lexa,” Clarke said softly. “It’s passed for now.” 

“Very well,” Lexa nodded, and stepped back outside the curtains. 

Clarke found grounder clothing waiting for her. She picked up the articles to inspect them. A pair of underwear that were similar to the boxer short the boys on the arc wear went on first. The underwear fit her body snug but were comfortable. Next came soft pants that were warm and fluffy on the inside. They were much like the ones she had removed before her bath. A clean grey t-shirt accompanied the sweet pants. Her socks and shoes came last, and were the hardest to get on, only because her dizziness had resumed when she bent over. 

Lexa smiled softly at Clarke once she emerged from behind the curtain. “Come, I will braid your hair, and then we will get you back to bed.”   
Clarke smiled softly at the Commander. “That sounds nice.” 

As they walk the short distance back to Lexa’s tent, Clarke looked around the village. They were in a clearing high above the ruins of Ton DC. Tents were placed in random order around the camp. 

“My people are still clearing away the rubble from the missile. All the dead have been accounted for and burned on the funeral pyre. There is still much work to be done before the village can be rebuilt.” 

“My people can help,” Clarke said. 

“Thank you Clarke, but for now there is not much that can be done. There is still much debate over the type of structures that are to be built. Besides, it is my people who should be helping yours. Winter will be here before you know it, and the Skaikru must be prepared. Once Camp Jaha is fit for winter then we can discuss your people helping with Ton DC.”

Lexa pulled the flap to her tent back and allowed Clarke to enter first. She sat at her throne and motioned for Clarke to sit between her feet. Clarke sat, and allowed Lexa to drag a brush through her hair. Soft fingers treaded through her hair, gently pulling at strands to make the braids. “Who braids your hair?” Clarke asked. 

“Indra has braided my hair during battle since I took the Heda spirit,” Lexa said softly. “She says it is her honor.”

“And what about when you’re not at war? Who does it then?”

Lexa was quiet for a few minutes before she finally spoke. “Costia, braided my hair for many years before she was taken from me. Since then, no one person has braided my hair while at home. Sometimes I allow my family, other times I allow my servants, and a few time I have allowed the children I teach to braid my hair.” She paused and then quietly said, “I wish to have just one person braid my hair every day.”

It was in that moment that Clarke realized how intimate braiding somebodies hair was. To could hear Lexa’s unspoken words loudly. She knew that Lexa wished for that person to be her, and she didn’t know how she felt about that. There had been a spark when Lexa kissed her. That was something that she couldn’t deny. She had been very clear that she wasn’t ready to be with anybody. That held true now more than ever. She needed to get her head and her heart straighten out before she could jump into anything with Lexa. 

“I need time, Lexa,” Clarke said quietly.

Lexa’s hands halted. “I know,” she said somewhat unsurely. 

“I just need to be clear. I need you to understand that I’m not ready to be with anybody.”

Lexa slowly started to braid Clarke’s hair again. “Is this is because of what happened on the mountain?”

“Yes and no,” Clarke said, confusing Lexa in the process. “I understand why you did it. It hurt me when you left and that hurt still lingers. I killed Finn for my people and I killed the people inside the mountain for them. I did it to save them. My head says that I did what was right, that I should forget those people and move on, but my heart aches for them. It aches for what I did to them. I have to get my heart to accept what I did before I can allow anybody inside.” 

“I will give you the time you need, and if you choose, I will be here waiting,” Lexa said. She dropped the last braid and placed her hand on Clarke’s shoulder. “I have been where you are. I have struggled as you are now, and I am here if you need me. For anything.” 

Clarke placed her left hand over Lexa’s right and looked back at her. “Thank you,” she said sincerely.


	3. Comfort

Clarke was resting in Lexa's bed when her mother returned from Camp Jaha. She was feeling much better than she had earlier, but her stomach was still filled with dread. Clarke knew her mother wasn't going to understand why she did it, and it was those shamed filled eyes that cause the dread. She laid there with her eyes closed as her mother entered Lexa's private quarters.

Abby sat on the bed next to Clarke and felt her forehead. "I've been warned not to say anything that will upset you."

Clarke sighed, warmth spread through her chest. Lexa was trying to protect her.

"I'm assuming that Lexa was speaking about what you did in the mountain," Abby said, as she opened her knapsack. She pulled out the thermometer, and put it up to Clarke's lips. "Open," She demanded softly.

Clarke opened her mouth knowing that her mother was aware she wasn't sleeping. Her lips wrapped around the glass. She slowly opened her eyes. Her mother was staring at her with soft features.

"I understand why you did it. What I'm not understanding is why you had to kill them all. There had to be another way."

"There wasn't," Clarke mumbled around the thermometer.

"No talking," Abby scolded, and Clarke realized that the thermometer was just an excuse for her not to talk. "I did this to you. I turned you into this person, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for my role in your father's death, I'm sorry for letting them lock you away, and I'm sorry I sent you down here without any preparation. I thrust you into a fight or die life and I am sorry."

"I don't need your apology," Clarke mumbled angrily. She pulled the thermometer out of her mouth and sat up. "I did what had to be done. My actions had nothing to do with you. It had nothing to do with what you did to dad and to me. You had no honor when you turn dad in. You signed our death warrants when you did that. You only sent me to the ground because you had no choice. I had a month to go until I would be reviewed and you know damn well that they would have floated me to keep me from telling their secret."

"I did what I thought was best," Abby said defeated.

"And I did what needed to be done," Clarke countered. "You act as though I don't understand the impact of what I did. I do Mother. I am not the child you think that I am. I do not need your disappointment. I carry their deaths with me every second. What I need now is my mother."

Abby sighed and took the thermometer out of Clarke's hand. She flicked it a few times to lower the meter and then put it back to Clarke's lips. Clarke allowed her mother to slip the device under her tongue.

"So much has changed," Abby sighed. "Being on the ground is all that our people have wished for, and here we are. We are on the ground, and it has been nothing like we dreamed. It has changed you and changed the rest of the Hundred."

Abby took the thermometer out of Clarke's mouth and read. "Fever's gone done. It seems as though Lexa took good care of you while I was away."

"She's not the person you think she is," Clarke said. "None of us are. The ground has changed us, but not for the bad. Just different."

"Different is right," Abby stated sadly. "I wish I could go back and change things."

"I don't," Clarke said. "If you changed the past, then our present could be worse. I may have never gotten Lexa to agree to an alliance. We could be at war with the grounders, and have our people stuck in Mount Weather."

"But you wouldn't have to bear the burden of killing those people," Abby said.

"I bare it, so other don't have too," Clarke said strongly.

Tears welled in Abby's eyes, but she hid it. "Are you hungry? Lexa said that you ate a few hours ago."

Clarke looked shock at the sudden change of topic, but she obliged her mother's need to change the subject. "Yeah. I am a bit."

"Good. That means you are getting better. I'll go get you something to eat," Abby said, and quickly walked out of the private area.

Lexa was sitting on her throne when Abby came out of her bed area. Abby looked surprised to see her but quickly got over it. "Clarke's hungry."

Lexa stood, and went to the tent's entrance. "I will take you to the food prep building."

Abby and Lexa walked in silence through the ruins of Ton DC. Lexa stopped near the hole where the missile landed. "She is stronger than you think"

"And she is not nearly as strong as you think," Abby countered.

"No. I just choose to see a different strength than you," Lexa said. "I once believed Clarke to be weak. She let her heart rule her actions, and it is only recent that I realize her heart is her greatest strength. She cared for the people who died here, she cared for Finn, and she cared for the people in the mountain. And yet she allowed their deaths, to save people who now condemn her for her actions."

"I don't condemn my daughter for what she did," Abby stated strongly. "I fear for her sanity. I fear for her safety."

"The more you play the disappointed mother, the more Clarke will doubt what she did. You and your people must fall in line. Accept that she saved you, and the way she chose to do it, or I will banish you from Ton DC until she is ready to face you."

"You wouldn't dare," Abby said angrily. "Clarke would never allow it."

"She didn't want me to take her to Camp Jaha, nor did she want to see you today. I honored her wishes at first, and I will honor them again if Clarke chooses not to see you after tonight."

Lexa turned away from Abby. She pointed to a hut up on the hill. "That building is where our food is prepped. Choose if you want to stay in your daughter's life, or be banished from it until Clarke's choosing. I have a matter to attend to. I will return before the moon is high in the sky."

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Lexa walked through the woods into a well light clearing. There were several tree stumps around the edge of the clearing used for sitting, and lanterns hung from low tree branches. Indra, Octavia, and Lincoln waited on the other side of the clearing for her. They were sitting on two tree stumps quietly discussing something.

When they heard the Commander approach, they stood and bowed.

"Rise," Lexa commanded. "Have you decided?"

Lincoln and Octavia looked into each other's eyes before turning back to Lexa. Lincoln bowed his head slightly. "Sha, Heda. We have."

"Octavia kom Skaikru, what is your decision?" Lexa asked.

Octavia looked to Lincoln, and then stood tall, and unwavering. "I choose to become Trikru, and will accept any punishment you choose for my betrayal on the mountain."

"Very well," Lexa said, and then turned toward Lincoln. "Lincoln kom Trikru, what have you decided?"

"I choose to remain with Trikru, and will accept any punishment for my betrayal on the mountain," Lincoln said confidently.

"Very well," Lexa said again. "As you know, disobeying a direct or in an act of treason. I understand you wanted to help your friends, but you must trust that I know what is best for our people. All of our people, including Skaikru. Indra will decide your fates tomorrow."

Lexa turned to look at Indra and nodded. She then looked the couple over. "Octavia, your initiation into Trikru will begin now with the cleansing. Has Lincoln explain the rituals to you?"

Octavia nodded slightly.

"Good. Follow me," Lexa said, and turned around. She led them to the center of the camp near to where bath hut is. The ruins from the missile were father behind the bath hut. A pole had already been placed in the center of the clearing.

Octavia stepped into the clearing, and began to disrobe. She stripped down to her underwear and bra, and stepped up to the pole. She turned around and faced the growing crowd. She held her arms up and allowed Indra to tie her to the pole.

Lexa stepped up to the pole and turned to the people already gathered. She shouted in Trigedasleng, explaining to them why Octavia was being tied up.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Abby walked into Lexa's tent with two bowls of steaming boar stew. Clarke was leaning against the head rest with her eyes closed. Abby could tell by Clarke's chest movement that she wasn't asleep.

"What is on your mind?" Abby question softly.

"The same thing that goes through my mind every time I close my eyes. The people I killed to protect our own."

Abby looked closely at her daughter's sad eyes. Sadness that she helped put there. She realized that Lexa was right. It wasn't her job to punish Clarke for her actions, because Clarke was already doing that. She couldn't let that darkness consume her baby. Not when their lives were just starting. "Eat honey. You look too thin," she said as she handed her daughter a bowl.

Clarke stared down at the bowl in amusement. This was the third time she was being handed a bowl of stew since she had woken just a few hours before. First by Nyko, then by Lexa, and finally by her mother. She shook her head and accepted the bowl. Her stomach kept flip flopping between being hungry, and refusing to keep anything down.

They sat and ate in silence, neither were sure what to say to the other. Shouts from outside the tent caught their attention, and Abby stood to go investigate. She was shocked to see Indra tying Octavia to a pole. Her heart seized in her chest and stepped toward to circle. She reached the circle just as Lexa had finished her speech in Trigedasleng.

Abby went and stood next to Indra, and asked, "What's going on here?"

Indra looked to the angry woman in annoyance. "A cleansing ritual," she stated.

"I won't let you kill her," Abby said and stepped towards Octavia.

Indra grabbed Abby's arm and roughly escorted her away from the circle. "Octavia won't be physically harmed," she said, once they were far enough away from the crowd.

"She's being tied to a pole," Abby screeched. "You have one of my people strung up like some kind of animal."

"Octavia is not Skaikru no more. She has chosen to become Trikru," Indra said proudly.

Abby looked dumbfounded for a moment. "Huh?" she asked, not caring if the other woman understood the ancient term.

"The Commander gave Octavia and Lincoln the option to return to Camp Jaha and the Skaikru, free of punishments, or remain with Trikru. They both chose to remain and accept whatever punishments Heda chooses."

"Oh," Abby said, and then looked back at the couple, who were mostly hidden by the gathering crowd. "What are doing to her?

"This is the first stage of her initiation. The cleansing. She will be tied to the post until first light. She will be drained of her blood and given the blood of a Trikru."

A look of horror crossed Abby's face. She went to walk back to the clearing, but was stopped by Indra strong grip."

"I was joking Chancellor," she said with a smile. "Octavia will be fine. Tonight her body will be painted with symbols of the Skaikru, and in the morning she will be cut down and taken to the river where her body will be dipped and spiritually cleansed of her former clan."

"And then she will be Trikru?" Abby asked hesitantly, almost afraid of the answer.

"No. After the cleansing, there is the marking ceremony. Octavia will choose an inking to represent her new clan, the Trikru. Then at the celebration she will officially be introduced to the clan as Octavia kom Trigedakru.

Abby looked up at Octavia in wonder. She had had much interaction with the girl before she had been sent to the ground. The first time she had met Octavia had been after her arrest. The girl had been brought to Abby in sick bay for a routine checkup. Octavia had been quiet, shy, withdrawn, but curious by her surroundings and what Abby was doing. Abby had been one of the few council members to vote to integrate Octavia with a family on the Arc instead if sentencing her to the sky box. Most of the council were worried about how Octavia would react around the populous after being locked away for sixteen years. Just one of the many travesties the council committed in the name of the law and populous control. The girl being tied to the pole was not the same girl who had been brought into her office. She was changing along with everybody else, but there was a calm in Octavia that wasn't present in the rest of her people.

As if sensing Abby's train of thought, Indra said, "Octavia found a home, and a family among us. She stayed and accepted this because this is where she feels comfortable. She may have been born in the sky, but her spirit was born Trikru. She is a true warrior."

"You talk about Octavia like a mother would," Abby noted.

"I have grown fond of Octavia. I see much of myself in her," Indra said proudly.

Abby smiled softly, and then bid Indra goodnight. She walked past the circle where Octavia was tied up, and almost laughed at the accosted look on Octavia's face, as a child no older the three was finger painting on her thigh. Now that she was sure Octavia was safe, she could appreciate the need for Octavia to join Trikru. Everybody just want a place to call home, and people who love and accepted her.

Abby slipped back into the tent with ease of mind. For the first time since landing she has seen the grounders in a different light. Indra's soft tone, reminded Abby that their people weren't much different. They were all just trying to survive in a tough world.

She walked into the bed area to find Clarke sitting up. She was pleased to see a little color back in her daughter's cheeks. She placed her hand on Clarke's forehead to see if her fever had returned.

"I'm fine mom," Clarke said annoyed. "I feel much better than I did a few hours ago."

"I'm glad to hear that, but the worst is not over yet. The drugs are suppressing your symptoms not curing them."

"Great. I survived nearly eighteen years in space, some crazy grounder illness, a grounder army of three hundred, getting kidnapped, held captive many homicidal maniacs, and winning an impossible war, only to be done in by a measly cold."

"Flu darling," Abby said with a chuckle. "You have the flu, not a measly cold, and it's going to take a few more days for you to be back to your old self."

"I'll never be back to my old self," Clarke mumbled.

Abby choose to not let the words slip by un-noticed. She knelt in front of Clarke, and put her hands over Clarke's. "No you won't. You will never be the Clarke who I sent to Earth on a dropship, and I'm starting to realize that Clarke was never who you really were. The real you was just waiting for a chance to shine through."

"What if I don't want to be this Clarke?"

"Then become the person you want to be," Abby said. "I may not agree with some of the things you've done, but respect them. You did what had to be done, and only you can say if it was the right thing or not."

"What have you done with my Mother?"

"She got a little sense knocked into her," Abby chuckled.

"What was all the commotion outside?" Clarke asked as Abby helped her lay back down.

"Oh," Abby said dumbly. She was unsure of how Clarke would react to hearing about Octavia's initiation into Trikru. "Indra was just tying Octavia to a pole for the night," she said nonchalantly.

Clarke's eyes widened, and she started to get out of bed again. Abby pushed Clarke (who was still weakened from the flu) back into the bed. "She isn't being hurt. She is just being tied to a pole and being painted on. It's part of her initiation into the Trikru clan."

"Oh," Clarke said and then relaxed back into the bed. "You should have started with that. I was about to go yell at Lexa for allowing her friend to be hurt after their last disagreement over Octavia.

Abby smiled at her daughter softly, nodding her head in agreeance. "Are you okay with Octavia joining Trikru?"

Clarke smiled tiredly at her mother, and then laid back against the head board. "More than okay. Octavia is at home with the Trikru. She found her people."

"She does seem to be at home with the grounders. I wish all of us could acclimate as smoothly," Abby mused.

"We will in time. Peace with the grounders will make adjusting easier. Lexa proved that she has our back. I just wish she hadn't diverged from the plan." A sad looked crossed Clarke's face as images of the dead in Mount Weather filled her mind. The dull ache that had taken up residence in her chest intensified.

"She did what she thought was best in that moment," Abby said quietly. Thoughts of her husband Jake were brought to mind. "Just like you did."

"Can we not talk about this?" Clarke asked solemnly. She didn't want to keep having this conversation with her mother.

Abby looked at Clarke in concern. She knew her daughter was hurting, but at this point she didn't know how to help Clarke if she refused to talk about it. To be honest, she wasn't even sure if she could help her daughter. How do you help somebody responsible for the deaths of over three hundred and fifty people? She was torn up over her role in her husband's death, and the culling of section seventeen.

"Sure sweetie. If that's what you want," Abby said kindly, and then laid her hand over Clarke's. "I'm here if you need me. For anything."

They sat and ate in silence, neither were sure what to say to the other. Shouts from outside the tent caught their attention, and Abby stood to go investigate.

Clarke gave Abby a strained smile. "Thanks." The smile disappeared. "Can I be alone for a while? I'm tired."

"Sure honey. If that's what you want. I'll come by in the morning and check on you."

Clarke watched her mother leave, and sighed slightly. She shivered slightly, and sank further into the warm furs. Clarke's mind was overloaded with everything that had happened since those guards came into her room in the sky box to take her to the dropship. Images of every moment that had happened since the hundred landed flashed through her mind. Her first sight of the amazing world she dreamed of. Octavia jumping into the river, and the giant snake that nearly killed her. Jasper getting speared when they crossed into Mount Weather territory. Saving Finn after Lincoln stabbed him, and watching Lincoln be tortured in order to do so. Meeting Anya, escaping with her, and watching her die. The three hundred grounders she burned in a ring of fire. The first time she met Lexa. Killing Finn. Kissing Lexa. The look of Lexa's face when she was telling her she took Emerson's deal. Pulling the lever that killed the Mountain people.

It all raced through her mind like a horror film. She wanted it to stop but no matter how hard she tried, it kept playing.

Her troubled mind turned her dreams to nightmares, and it was her nightmares that woke Lexa several hours later. A scream rang out through the tent, followed by whimpers. Lexa looked around her tent from her spot on her throne confused at first. The whimpers continued, alerting her to what had woken her. She relaxed slightly, no longer afraid somebody was attacking, and made her way into her private quarters.

Clarke was laying on her right side, facing the opening. In the dim room, Lexa could see Clarke's contorted features. The nightmare was causing such a real reaction. It was like Clarke believed that it was real.

That's because it was real. Lexa realized that Clarke must be dreaming about the mountain again. She knelt down, and gently shook the girl. Clarke's eyes flew open almost immediately, and she flung herself back to the edge of the bed in terror, tearing the IV out as she moved. Her breathing was raged, her eyes were wide with fear, and tears were already forming there.

"It's okay Clarke. It was only a dream," Lexa said softly.

Clarke blinked back the tears, and tried to compose herself. She was tired of looking weak in front of the commander. She was tired of feeling weak because of her emotions. She was weak though. She was tired, sick, weak, and she was going to stay that way for at least a few more days.

She decided that she didn't care what Lexa thought of her. If Lexa thought she was weak, then that was her opinion. She would just have to prove Lexa wrong. She laid back down on her side, and hesitantly reached her hand across the bed. The nightmare was still fresh in her mind, and she needed a little comfort. Even if it was just touching hands.

Lexa looked at the reaching hand briefly before grasping it in hers. With that soft touch Clarke's mind was at ease. It only lasted a moment before new images raced through her mind, through her heart. In that moment though, Clarke could enjoy the fluttering feeling in her heart. In that moment, she could let go of what she did, and see Lexa how she was before the mountain.

The simple touches allowed her to feel the hope she had as they marched up the mountain. Her heart ached to have that feeling back. To know that everything will be alright, and that she could have a future free of war. Free of the pain she felt every day.

Lexa ran her thumb over the slightly bleeding wound on Clarke's hand. "I must send for you mother."

"No. Let her sleep. I'll be fine until the morning," Clarke mumbled sleepily.

Lexa watched as Clarke's body relaxed into the warm furs, and slowly fell back to sleep. Once she thought Clarke was asleep, she released Clarke's hand, and went to walk out of the private quarters. Clarke's voice stopped her from retreating any further into the other room.

"Please stay," Clarke begged softly.

Lexa turned to look at Clarke, who looked back at her with pleading eyes.

"Please?"

Lexa nodded slightly and moved to sit on the bed. She removed her boots, and laid down next to Clarke, who moved closer to snuggle into her side. Lexa stiffened for a moment, but relaxed and wrapped her arms around Clarke. She would worry about the repercussions of this in the morning. For now she just wanted to enjoy the feeling of Clarke wrapped in her arms.

Lexa woke again as the sun streamed through holes in her tent. She and Clarke were still in the same position they had been before Lexa fell asleep. Clarke was snuggled up to her left side, with her head laying in her shoulder. The blonde's arm was resting across the commander's abdomen, with her hand laying in between Lexa's breasts. It was a comforting feeling, and for a moment Lexa wished she didn't have to rise. She wished that she could just lay there with Clarke until the end of her days.

Lexa sighed softly. She knew that it wasn't possible. Clarke wasn't ready for anything to happen between them, and she had duties to attend to. She moved her free arm up to Clarke's head, intending to hold it up while she slipped out from underneath her, when she felt the heat rising off the girl. Her fever had returned. Lexa cursed in Trigedasleng, and gently shook Clarke awake.

"I must get your mother Clarke. Your fever has returned," Lexa said, and tried to slide off the bed.

Clarke grasp Lexa harder. "No. I'm fine Lexa. Please stay."

"Clarke, you burn hot from the fever again. I must get your mother," Lexa insisted, and tried once again to slide off the bed.

"Please don't leave me," Clarke begged, and snuggled further into Lexa's grasp.

Lexa sighed softly. The fever was turning Clarke into a needy mess, and if she had any hope of actually getting Abby, she had to relent. She yelled to her guard in Trigedasleng to come to her. Once the guard was standing by the opening to the private quarters, she softly told him to get Abby.

After the guard left she tried once more to escape Clarke's grasp with no avail. Submitting to the girl's desire, Lexa relaxed into the warm furs, and waited for Abby to show. She didn't have to wait long before Abby came running through the tent. Panic was evident on her face. If she was shocked to see her daughter cuddling with Lexa she didn't show it. Her attention was solidly on her daughter.

"What happened?" Abby asked, as she reached across the bed to touch her daughter.

"She burns hot again," Lexa said softly. "Much hotter than before."

Abby opened her bad and pulled several things out. "I need you to move Lexa," She said firmly.

"I cannot. She won't allow me too," Lexa said. "Her grip is strong for someone weaken with illness, and I do not want to harm her."

"We might have no choice," Abby said, and then handed Lexa the thermometer to hold. She placed her knee on the bed and leaned over Lexa. "Clarke, sweetie wake up."

Clarke grumbled, but opened her eyes.

"Open your mouth," Abby demanded in a motherly tone, and plucked the thermometer out of Lexa's hand. Clarke did as she was instructed, and Abby popped the thermometer into place.

Clarke loosen her grip on Lexa, but the commander was still stuck thanks to Abby leaning over her.

Abby suddenly looked down at Lexa with an angry look. "Where is her IV?"

"She tore it out after she woke from a nightmare," She said evenly.

"And you didn't send for me why?" Abby countered.

"She asked me not to," Lexa said and looked down at Clarke, who was watching the pair with interest.

Clarke mumbled soft inaudible around the thermometer. Irritated, she pulled the thing out and handed it to her mother. "Don't blame Lexa, mom. I just wanted to give you a chance to sleep, and one night of it not bugging me. "

"Well that night is going to cost you," Abby said as she looked at the thermometer. "It's forty point five. Let Lexa go. We need to get you into cool water to lower it."

"I'm fine," Clarke said and gripped Lexa tighter.

Lexa looked at Clarke and then back up at Abby. "Move Abby," she growled.

Abby looked down at Lexa in shock, and then moved off the bed. Her feet had barely touched the ground when Lexa force Clarke's arms off of her, and she was off the bed. She pulled Clarke across the bed by her arm and legs, and forced her to sit up.

Lexa looked into Clarke's shocked eyes. "Your feverish mind is addled."

"Let me go, Lexa," Clarke demanded, and attempted to flee from the Commander's grip.

"No. Not until you agree to go to the river to lower your fever," Lexa said.

Clarke nodded her head lightly, and allowed Lexa to put her boots on. She was gently pulled to her feet, and held up by Lexa. She leaned into the other girl as her head spun. "Okay, maybe you are right."

"Sha," Lexa said, and helped Clarke walk out of the tent. She stopped briefly to instruct one of her guards to get drying cloths and a blanket, and then lead Clarke the short distance to the river. She and Abby stripped Clarke leaving her in just her underwear and t-shirt.

Lexa helped Clarke sit on tree stump, and instructed Abby to stand behind her to keep her from falling backwards. Once she was sure Clarke was safe from falling, Lexa began removing her own clothing. In record time, Lexa was standing in front of the Griffin woman in her underwear and t-shirt.

"I'll take her in. My guard should be coming any moment with the cloths," Lexa said, to a shocked Abby. Lexa helped an equally shocked Clarke stand, and the walked her to the riverbank. The water was freezing cold and Lexa began shivering. She knew the water must feel ten times colder to Clarke against her burning skin. Lexa lead them out just far enough for Clarke's body to be submerged.

Lexa wrapped her arms around Clarke's waist from behind her, and held her close. The water was rapidly flowing around them, and Clarke wasn't able to keep herself upright with the current pulling at her weak body. She laid her head backwards on Lexa's shoulder, and let her body float in the water.

"Thank you," Clarke said. She was shivering violently.

"You do not have to thank me," Lexa said. She was shivering too, but nearly not as much as Clarke was.

"Yes I do. This water is freezing and you're here with me when you don't need to be."

"You are sick, and your mother does not know how to swim," Lexa said logically. "I will be here for whatever you need."

Silence lapsed between them as the implications behind Lexa's word sunk in. It wasn't long until Abby was telling them to come back. Lexa helped Clarke back onto dry land. Abby was waiting with one of the drying cloths for Clarke. She helped Clarke dry off, as Lexa did the same to her own body. Abby pulled the soaked shirt off of Clarke, and then wrapped the blanket snuggly around her daughter.

An hour later Clarke was back in Lexa's bed fast asleep. The IV was back in place, only this time Abby place the needle in her arm and loosely wrapped the tube around Clarke's arm, making it harder for her to accident pull it out. Her time in the river had lowered her fever enough for Abby's worry to ease a little.

Lexa on the other hand was still worried, but for an entirely different reason. It scared her that Clarke was neglecting herself. She shouldn't have listened to Clarke last night and sent for Abby. She had a bad feeling something was going to happen, but she wanted to honor Clarke's wishes. Clarke knew what could happen if she didn't have the bag attached to her. She was sitting in her throne when Abby came out of her private area.

Abby dropped her bag next to Lexa, and stood in front of the young woman. "She's sleeping again. Next time Clarke tells you not to get me, ignore her and get me."

Lexa nodded.

"Thank you," Abby said. "Let me see your leg."

Lexa went to tell Abby that her leg was fine, but Abby was giving her a look that left no room to argue. She stood up and dropped her pants, and then sat again. She inspected the healing incision. "It's a little red and swollen. It may be infected, or it could be from being in the river." She reached into her bag and pulled out a bottle of Monty's moonshine and a clean cloth. She poured a small amount over the healing wound and then patted it dry.

"I'll check it again in a few hours. If it's the same or gets worse then I'll you some antibiotics." She put the moonshine away, and then picked up her bag.

Lexa stood up and pulled her pants back up. "Nyko has requested a healer from Polis come to Ton DC for a while. He wishes to travel to Camp Jaha to shadow you for a few weeks. I shall grant his request if you are willing."

"Nyko is welcome at Camp Jaha at any time," Abby said.

Lexa nodded her head. "I shall make the arrangements. I have duties to attend to today. When must you return to Camp Jaha?"

"Tomorrow," Abby said. "I want to spend today with Clarke. Make sure she doesn't relapse again."

Lexa nodded her head. She glanced at the slightly open curtain of her sleeping quarters. Once she was satisfied that Clarke was still sleeping peacefully in her bed, she left the tent. Octavia and Indra were waiting for her to finish the girl's initiation.


	4. The Start of Phase One

Lexa returned to her tent just before the sun disappeared from the sky in bad spirits. Her day had been long, and it seemed as it was going to be longer still. She went to her private area and pulled back the curtains. 

Clarke was laying on her bed sleeping, and Abby was sitting on a hand crafted stool, hunched over the bed sleeping as well. She reached out and gently touched Abby’s shoulder. The older woman jumped awake at the touch, and looked around the small space in confusion. Her eyes fell on her sleeping daughter, and then looked up at Lexa. 

Lexa nodded her head slightly in the direction of the main area of the tent. Abby understood the gesture, and stood to follow the commander. Lexa went to her throne and sat down heavily, unconsciously rubbing her bad leg gently. “You must accompany Indra to Camp Jaha tonight. One of her warriors was killed while teaching a group of your people to hunt. One of your men tripped and his gun fired. It was an accident, but my warriors are uneasy around your weapons. They fear them and that is making their minds weak. They are refusing to go near your people.”

“So I have to go play peace keeper,” Abby summed up. 

“Sha. I trust that you and Indra can rally your people and come up with a solution to the unease.”

Abby nodded her head. “When do we leave?”

“Indra is prepping the horses. It won’t be long until she comes for you,” Lexa said. 

Abby nodded her head again, and then walked into the private area again. She return a minute later with her knapsack. “Let me check your leg again.” 

Lexa looked at Abby in annoyance, but stood and dropped her pants regardless. Abby inspected the incision. “It’s swollen, but there is no pus. I think you are just over working the leg, and the incision is not happen about being rubbed against your tight jeans. Do me a favor and put lighter pants on, and stay off the leg. At least for tonight.” 

Lexa nodded her head slightly, and then stood again. She pulled her pants back up, and then moved past Abby to her chest of clothing. She pulled out a pair of softer pants, and then returned back to her throne. 

“Can I trust that you will take care of my daughter while I’m away?” Abby asked. 

Anger flashed across Lexa’s features. “Have I not been doing that?”

“You have,” Abby said tightly. 

“But you still don’t trust me,” Lexa finished for her.

“No,” Abby said honestly.

“You speak true, and for that I thank you. I am not your enemy, and as long as your people fall in line, I will remain that. I will honor this alliance because it benefits both our people. There is much that our people can share with each other. As long as your people don’t commit any acts of war, you and your people are safe.”

“And what would constitute acts of war?” 

“You are a smart woman Abby of the sky people. That question does not need a response,” Lexa clipped. “Tonight you must ride with Indra to prevent a war from breaking out between our people. Once Clarke is well, we can discuss how to bring our clans closer. Until then, get your people to be more careful with their weapons.” She paused to see if Abby had anything to say, but the woman stood their silently. She noticed that Abby looked unhappy at being ordered to do something, but was happy the woman didn’t comment on her displeasure. “Nyko wishes to see you before your departure.”

“I’ll go find him then,” Abby said curtly, and then left the tent. 

Lexa sat on her throne for a while, thinking over the day’s events. Octavia had been released from the pole and was already being dipped in the river by Indra by the time Lexa had reached the crowd. She had been impressed with how well the girl took her markings. She had been witness to even her toughest warriors cringing as the needle repeated piercing their skin. 

After Octavia’s marking ceremony was completed, she and Indra walked the length of the village to discuss the rebuilding. There was much to be done, and Indra had concerns about having sturdy structures built before the winter. With half her warriors at Camp Jaha training Skaikru to hunt and fight, she was shorthanded. 

Indra had been most displeased to learn of her warriors passing. She had demanded that her people return to village at once and leave Skaikru to their own devises. Lexa knew the woman was just upset by the loss, and allowed her fear of the Skaikru’s weapons take over. Lexa knew how fragile the alliance between her people and the Skaikru was, and knew that she had to do whatever she could to keep the peace until she could return home to Polis and spoke with her ambassadors. She could rally help from the other clans to help Ton DC and Camp Jaha prepare for the winter. 

Now she was just exhausted. Her leg hurt from her healing wound, her mind was racing a mile a minute with things that still needed to do, and her chest ached with worry over Clarke. She turned her head to peek through the curtains. The blonde was still lying in her bed fast asleep, her cheeks were rosy red, and soft snores were sounding. 

The snores concerned Lexa. Clarke sounded like she was having trouble breathing. She didn’t like the idea of Clarke struggling for her breaths. She stood up and walked to the entrance of the tent. She ordered one of her guard to summon Nyko, and then went to Clarke side. 

She looked down at the blonde, marveling at how beautiful was even with bright red cheeks, chapped lips, and a sore, runny nose. She thought back to the kiss they had shared not even two weeks ago. How her heart had soared when Clarke kissed back, and then how her heart had plummeted as the blonde told her she wasn’t ready. How the hope had settled in her chest when the word ‘yet’ rolled off those beautiful lips. It was a lot of emotions to go through her in just a minute. Emotions that she had yet to process fully. 

Now looking down at the woman who had captured her heart the moment she had stepped through her tent, she could only feel love. She silently vowed to take care of Clarke, even if the woman was never ready to be with her. Even if she could never have Clarke as hers. She would never let anything happen to her. 

“Heda,” Nyko quietly said from behind her. 

Lexa glanced at Nyko over her shoulder, and then looked back at Clarke. She quietly said, “Clarke’s having trouble breathing through her nose. Is there anything you can give her to help?” 

“Sha, Heda. There is a tea I can brew that will help,” Nyko said. 

“Prepare it please,” Lexa said. 

“Sha, Heda. Is there anything else you need? Perhaps you and the Skaiprisa would like some stew.”

“That would be nice Nyko. Mochof.” 

“Sha Heda,” Nyko repeated with a bow, and then left the tent. 

Lexa stood above Clarke for a few more moments, and then went back into the main room of the tent to change. She felt much better once she was out of her heavy coat and tight jeans, and into a soft t-shirt and loose fitting pants. She longed for the day when she could be back in her sleeping gowns, or nothing at all. She despised sleeping in pants, and even more in her day clothing. War was taxing on her sleep. 

Nyko returned with a tray of stew and two steaming mugs of tea. He set them on the table as instructed, and then departed again once his Heda knew which mug was for Clarke. Lexa made a mental note to send Nyko something nice from the capital once she returned for taking good care of her love.

Lexa went back into her private area and knelt beside her bed. Clarke looked so peaceful that she felt bad for waking her up. She laid her hand on the blonde’s shoulder and gently shook it as she said her name. Clarke’s eyes opened slowly, and blinked in confusion. Blue eyes met green, and for a moment Lexa it was like Lexa was looking into Clarke’s soul. Clarke smiled weakly at Lexa. 

Lexa returned the tired smile with a shy one of her own. “I had Nyko prepare some tea for you. It will help you breathe a little better. He also brought more stew if you are hungry.”

“Tea sounds good. Not so sure about the stew,” Clarke said, and then pushed herself up. “I haven’t been able to keep anything down.”  
Lexa nodded. “Tea first then, and then maybe you could try a little of the stew. It’s rabbit today.”

“I’ll try.” 

“First I think we should use that device that measures your temperature.”

“Thermometer,” Clarke said, and picked up the device of the bedside table, and placed it in her mouth. They sat in silence until Clarke pulled the thermometer back out. “Thirty nine point six.”

“That is high,” Lexa commented. 

“Yes, but it’s not as high as this morning. So no need to take a trip to the river.”

Lexa stood and went over to the table. She returned with Clarke’s mug of tea, and sat on the edge of the bed. “Perhaps this will help. If not, I will gladly accompany you into the river.” 

“Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that,” Clarke said as she accepted the mug. “It might be a little high because of sleeping under the furs. I’ll check it again later.” 

“How are feeling?” 

“Stuffy,” Clarke said. She sipped the steaming tea and sighed in relief as the heat opened her airways. “My mom ran out of the pain relievers, so I’m stuck dealing with the headache, sore throat, and muscle aches until she can travel back to Camp Jaha.”

Lexa looked up at the bag hanging from her bed in confusion. The bag was still full.  
Clarke followed Lexa’s confused look. “The pain relievers were in the shots Mom and Nyko were giving me. The bag is water, antibiotics, and vitamins.” 

“I will see if there is anything Nyko can give you. I’ve sent your mother to Camp Jaha with Indra. There was an incident during a hunting trip.”

“Is everything alright?” Clarke asked cautiously.

“One of my warriors was killed by accident during a hunting trip. One of your people tripped and his gun fired. I sent them to ease the tension between our people.”

“Your warriors are afraid to be around my people,” Clarke stated knowingly. 

“Sha.” 

“Will your people ever accept my people?” Clarke solemnly. 

Lexa look at the almost defeated look on the blonde’s face win a pain in her chest. The truth was she wanted her people to accept Clarke’s, but there was a lot of work to be down before that happened. She had to make sure that the Skaikru were willing to follow the rules set forth for the clans in her Collation. That they would be respectful to the clan surrounding them, and that her people can get over the fear of their weapons. There was also the potential risk of Azgeda seeing this as a weakness, and declaring war on her. She hoped that queen Nia would just try for a coup. That would make her life so much similar, but there was no telling when it came to that woman. 

Nia was her biggest threat to her happiness. The Queen had already proved that she was willing to do anything to get to Lexa. Costia had been the victim of her last attempt, and she would be damned if she let Clarke fall to the same fate. She had to be sure that Nia didn’t find out about Clarke. Not until she was sure there was true peace. 

Lexa took the mug out of Clarke’s hand and set it on the night stand. She gently picked up Clarke’s hand in her own. “I will do everything in my power to bring our clans together,” she vowed. She looked into Clarke’s eyes as she said the words so that Clarke knew she was being honest.

Clarke gave Lexa as genuine smile. 

“Let us not worry about that right now. Once you are better than we will talk,” Lexa said. 

“Okay,” Clarke said softly. She rubbed her belly when it rumbled softly. “I think I want to try and eat something.”

Lexa stood up without hesitation and retrieved both bowls. They ate in silence, mulling over their thoughts. Lexa was itching to ask Clarke about going to Polis with her, but she was unsure of where to start. There was something about Clarke that made her nervous. 

Clarke was watching Lexa with interest. The brunette had taken a seat on the stool, and was being less guarded with her features. Clarke wasn’t sure what all the looks meant, but it was interesting to watch. She didn’t know how she felt about the commander, but she did know that there was something there. It was masked behind the pain of what she did to save her people. 

Clarke was only able to eat half her bowl before a wave of nausea hit. She leaned over the bed to where the bucket was, and empty he contents of her stomach, knocking the contents of her bowl all over the furs as she went. 

Lexa was quick to set her bowl to the side and move to Clarke’s side. She held Clarke’s braided hair back as the blonde vomited into the pale, and rubbed soothing circles on her back. Once Clarke’s stomach was satisfied that it was once again empty, Clarke sat back up wearing an embarrassed look on her face. 

Lexa gave Clarke a reassuring smiled, and handed Clarke a cloth. 

She wiped her mouth off, and then noticed the spilt soup. “I’m sorry,” she said, as she attempted to wipe the soup up with the cloth. She managed to pick up the rabbit, and potatoes, but the broth and the mushy carrots smeared further over the furs. “I’m so sorry.” 

“It’s okay, Clarke. The furs can be washed. I’m more concern with you not being able to keep anything down.” Lexa picked up the bowl and set it on the table and started pulling the soiled furs off the bed.

“Thank you,” Clarke said softly. She was touched by Lexa’s concern, and had overwhelming need to ease the brunette’s mind. “The bag is giving my body the nutrients it needs,” Clarke told her. “As long as my fever doesn’t go as high as it was this morning, I should be fine.” 

“Then we will do everything to make sure that doesn’t happen,” Lexa said, and then walked out of her bed area. She returned a minute later with a clean pile of furs, and began Clarke again. She sat on the edge of the bed once she was satisfied Clarke was comfortable. She picked up the thermometer, and shook it like she had scene Abby and Nyko do. She handed the device to Clarke, who put it in her mouth. After a few minutes of silence, Clarke pulled the thermometer out of her mouth, and inspected the temp. “Thirty-nine. See it’s gone down a little.” 

Lexa to the device and laid gently on the table. “This is a good thing. Are you feeling better?”

Clarke snuggled down into the furs further. “No. I’ll be happy once I get over this thing.” 

“As will I,” Lexa said. “Perhaps you should try to drink some more of the tea. Your stomach seemed to do alright with it.” 

“Yeah. It’s the food it’s not happy with,” Clarke said, and reached for the mug.

Lexa’s quick reflexes allowed her to grab the cup before Clarke could, and gently hand it to the blonde Clarke took the offer mug with a soft smile, and began sipping the warm liquid. “Not that I’m complaining, but why am I in your tent, in your bed, instead of in Nyko’s healing hut?”

“Nyko’s hut was destroyed when the missile hit. There is a tent set up for him, but there are still many wounded. You were in his tent for half a day before we realized that you were sick. Nyko feared the wounded would catch whatever you have, so I moved you in here.” 

“You’re not afraid of catching my illness?” Clarke said. 

“I am the Commander. I cannot get sick,” Lexa said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

“A little sure of yourself, are you,” Clarke said. 

“I have not fallen ill since I was a child, Clarke,” said Lexa. 

“At all?” 

“No. The last illness I suffered through was just before the Heda spirit chose me,” Lexa said. 

“Lucky you,” said Clarke as she closed her eyes. 

“I’ll let you rest,” Lexa said, and began to walk toward the main area of the tent. 

“Thank you,” Clarke said weakly, halting her steps. She turned back around and eyes the blonde curiously. “For taking care of me, and for laying with me last night. That must have been hard for you.”

Lexa looked unsure for a moment, before she moved to kneel next to Clarke. “Lying with you last night was the easiest thing I have ever done.”

Clarke stared into Lexa’s eyes searching them for the truth. All she saw returned was soft caring eyes. “I’m not ready. I need time. I need time to get over killing Finn, and…” She paused and took a breath. “I need time to move past what I’ve done to save my people.”

The words cut Lexa like a knife, while giving her hope all at the same time. She brought her hand up and gently touched Clarke’s cheek. “You take the time you need, Clarke. I will be here if you are ever ready to let me into your heart. Until then I will be here for whatever you need. I will hold your hair as you vomit, get you tea or stew, take you into the river to lower your fever, or lay with you if you are in need of comfort. My only concern is for you to get well, and for you to accept what you did. I will do anything the make that happen.”

Tears welled in Clarke’s eyes. Her heart already felt so full with the grief of what she did to save her people. Hearing Lexa’s words, almost lovingly, the emotion trapped in her heart spilled over. She wasn’t sure if she would ever be ready to let Lexa into her heart. If she would ever feel worthy of being loved. She didn’t want to give Lexa false hope, but at the same she couldn’t help but feel comforted by Lexa. She wanted to swim in that comfort. She wanted to feel Lexa wrap her arms around her and make her demons go away. To make the pain she felt be eased.

“Will you lay with me tonight?” She asked tentatively. 

Lexa smiled softly and nodded her head. Clarke threw the covers off of herself, and Lexa crawled over Clarke. She settled in behind Clarke, who was laying on her left side protecting her IV arm. She pulled the furs back over them. 

Clarke leaned back, and laid her head on Lexa’s right arm, while the other one wrapped around her waist. She gently laid her own hand over Lexa’s and pulled it so there hands here resting together just below Clarke’s breasts. 

They laid in silence until Clarke softly said, “Thank you.” This time there was no need for Clarke’s thank you to be explained. Those two simply words were all Lexa needed to know that her vow was heard, and understood. They drifted off into a peaceful sleep. 

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Lexa was the first one awake again the next morning. She was once again on her back, with Clarke tucked into the right side. Lexa eyed Clarke’s right hand, which was resting between her breasts, and was thankful that Abby had wrapped the IV tubing around Clark so she could accidentally pull it out. The cord was hanging tightly above their heads.

Unlike the previous morning, Clarke was only throwing off a moderate amount of heat. Lexa gently touched the blonde’s cheek and forehead, happy to feel that her fever had finally broken. Clarke was snoring slightly due to her swollen nasal passages, but Lexa was sure the worst was over. She breathed a sigh of relief.

Lexa laid with Clarke watching the blonde sleep, happy that the blonde’s sleep seemed peaceful. Clarke had woke three times during the night from nightmares. Each one seemingly worse than the previous. Lexa would hold Clarke as the woman cried softly, until she calmed enough to slip back to sleep. 

A voice calling her from the main room brought Lexa’s attention away from Clarke. She wasn’t sure how Clarke would feel about her friend seeing her like this, but she didn’t have the heart to wake her. 

“You may enter,” she said softly.

Octavia walked through the curtains, and froze at the sight before her. Clarke was cuddling with the Commander. What the fuck?

“Why have you interrupted my sleep?” Lexa said softly, but with a clipped tone. 

Octavia schooled her features and then looked at her Heda. “Indra instructed me to guard Clarke today.”

“Very well,” Lexa said with a slight nod. “Please find Nyko and retrieve some tea for Clarke. He will know what you are speaking of. Ask him to add some herbs to reduce nausea as well. Then go to the kitchen and retrieve two bowls of stew and some bread.”

“Sha Heda. Is there anything else you require?” 

“Not at the moment. Mochof, Octavia kom Trikru.”

Lexa watched Octavia disappear through the curtains, in concern. Her mind went back to just a little over week before when she had ordered Octavia’s death. She had promised Clarke that Octavia’s life was safe, but she was still weary of the young woman. As leader of the Trigedakru, Indra had the choice to accept anyone into her clan, and Lexa respected that. She could see why Indra was so taken with the sky girl. There was a fight in her that needed to be released. That fight needed to be honed though. Octavia was untrained and loose with her thoughts. She didn’t know enough about their culture, and she didn’t understand what it took to be a leader. 

Octavia didn’t understand why she and Clarke allowed the missile to hit without warning their people. The last she knew, Octavia was angry with Clarke for allowed it to happen. Anger could cloud someone’s judgment. Anger could put someone’s life in danger, and Octavia’s anger toward Clarke could hurt the blonde’s healing mind, and Lexa couldn’t have that. She would have to speak to Octavia, just like she had talked to Abby. 

Lexa looked back down at Clarke. Octavia’s presence hadn’t woken the woman up, so she would have to do it. She had the urge to place a kiss on Clarke’s forehead, but reframed. She did however place her hand on Clarke’s bicep and gently ran the hand up the arm. 

“Clarke,” she said softly. 

Lexa smiled softly as Clarke’s eyes fluttered open briefly, and then snapped shut again. She groaned, and shifted slightly in protest. “Too early,” Clarke grumbled, and then buried her face into Lexa’s breast, making the brunette stifle a moan. 

Clarke shot to the edge of the bed when she heard the stifled moan come from the woman beneath her. Her cheeks turned pink as she realized why the brunette had moaned. “Sorry.” 

Lex sat up and gave Clarke a reassuring smile. “Don’t be. You cannot control your movements in your sleep.” 

Clarke gave Lexa a slight nod, and then looked away from her counterpart. 

“Octavia will return with rations and tea for you soon. Should I send for Nyko to change your bag? It is nearly empty.”

“No. If you get my mother’s knapsack, I can change it myself,” Clarke said. 

Lexa nodded and climbed of the bed, and retrieved the bag from next to her throne. She watch in interest as Clarke closed the valve on the bag already hanging, and remove the end of the tuning from the IV line in her arm. She hung the new bag where the old bag had been, and then opened the valve to release any air left in the tubing. Once drops of liquid were leaking from the line, she close the valve again, and then connected the tip into her IV line.

“How does that work?” Lexa asked curiously. 

Clarke looked at Lexa in surprise. She didn’t think that the grounders would be willing to be taught about their healing. Lexa hadn’t asked how Abby had saved Lincoln’s life with the shock baton. She had just marveled at the miracle. 

“How much do you know about the human body?” Clarke asked. 

“I know I dislocate my shoulder a lot,” Lexa said sheepishly. 

Clarke smiled at that. “The needle is going into my vein, which carry your blood, air, and nutrients throughout your body. Normally your nutrients are broken down from the food and water you drink and gets absorbed into your system. Since I can’t keep anything down, the bag is the only way to get those nutrients.” 

“Your healing is strange, but effect. I would like it very much if you would teach me more.” 

“I think that can be arranged,” Clarke said. She laid her head against the head board.

“How are you feeling?” Lexa asked. 

“A little better than yesterday. Not as good as I would like though.” 

“Do you think you will be up to joining the feast tonight?”

“Feast?”

“In honor of our victory at the Mountain,” Lexa said. 

Pain settled in Clarke chest. “I don’t want to celebrate the deaths of hundreds of people,” Clarke said angrily. 

An angry looked crossed Lexa’s features. In a clam tone she said, “The feast is too honor those who died to gain victory, and to celebrate the thousands of lives you have saved by slaying the mountain.”

“So your people aren’t happy that blood has had blood?” 

“Your anger is justified, however it is unfounded here. Jus drein jus daun is not about happiness. It’s about moving past the pain. We could not move on until they paid with their blood, and you did that for my people. My people can finally move on from what the Maunon did to them. They can move on from the pain of the Maunon taking their mothers, fathers, daughters, sons, sisters, and brothers to bleed them, and turn them into reapers. The no longer have to fear them. My people can finally be at peace. That is what jus drein jus daun give us.”

A voice coming from the entrance to the bed area captured both woman’s attention. “On the arc you were killed for even the smallest of crimes. It may seem harsh Clarke, but it’s doesn’t compare to watching your mother be floated for having you, or your father for trying to tell the truth.” 

Clarke looked directly at Lexa with a hard look. Octavia didn’t know that Lexa had ordered her death simply because she had knowledge that could hurt Lexa. Clarke watched as Lexa’s brows dipped slightly in confusion, and then slowly realization dawned.

“Leave us,” Lexa said sharply. “Leave the stew and have a bath prepared for Clarke.”

“Sha Heda,” Octavia said as she set the stew down and then left. 

“Your father was killed for having knowledge that your leaders didn’t want him to announce,” Lexa stated. “This is why you were trying to save Octavia’s life.” 

“Yes,” Clarke said. “We came down from the sky because the Arc was dying, and my father knew about it. He thought the people should know and it got him killed. I spent a year locked away because I knew, and I would be dead right now if the council leaders hadn’t sent me to the ground with the rest of the kids in lockup.” 

“I am sorry, that you had to go through that,” Lexa said. She felt bad for her hast decision to have Octavia killed. She wanted to tell Clarke that she will never kill to protect herself and the Collation, but she could not. She could not tell the blonde that she would never kill somebody who crossed her, who questioned her strength, or her leadership. She could not tell Clarke that she would never again order the death of one of her people, if that person put the peace she was trying to build in jeopardy. She wanted to tell Clarke that she was not the evil person she was picturing. 

The truth was, she was that person. She had to be that person in order to be Heda. Sacrifices had to be made, and it was her job to carry those sacrifices. She hoped that one day there would be no need to kill to protect the peace, but she was still at least on war away from that happening. One potential war was on the horizon. One war that she had been waiting years to fight, and now that the mountain has been slayed, that war was close. 

Clarke watched Lexa closely. The brunette had gone silent a few minutes before hand and seemed to be in a trance. She sighed to herself. She was being too hard on Lexa. The Heda was taking such good care of her. She was being soft, kind, and caring, and here she was condemning her. She understood that in order to be leader, Lexa had to make hard choices. Clarke was beginning to see that there were too sides to Lexa. The Heda side, which was cold, harsh, and stoic, and the Lexa side, which was fairer, kinder, and gentler. 

Clarke touched Lexa’s hand, capturing the brunette’s attention. “I’m the one who should be apologizing,” Clarke said. “I get it. I do. I killed Finn to protect my people. I shouldn’t be condemning you for doing what you need to protect yours.” 

Lexa gave a Clarke a sharp head nod, and then busied herself with getting Clarke’s tea. They ate in silence. Clarke and Lexa were pleased that Clarke was able to keep all the food she consumed down. Once they were finished, Lexa excused herself to go tend to her duties.

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Lexa left the tent feeling more frazzle then she had ever felt in her life. Not even Costia had made her feel this way. Everything with Clarke was like a friendly sparing match. The constant flip flopping between having the upper hand, to being evenly matched, to being flat on her back. 

Her first duty of the day was to find Octavia, and have a talk with the young warrior. She had appreciated the girl’s input earlier, but she still needed to make sure Octavia wasn’t going to impede on Clarke recovery. The first few months after doing something like Clarke did were the most fragile. This is when you either heal your fragile mind, or damage it further. 

She found Octavia as the girl was coming out of the bathhouse. Octavia went to say something, but Lexa put her hand up to stop her. She gesture for the warrior to follow her. 

As they walked, Lexa began to speak. “Clarke’s mind is weak. She struggles with her decision to irradiate the Maunon. She knows that it was for the best, but her heart tells her otherwise, which is making her mind doubtful. Clarke is a true leader. She was born for this, but the harsh ways of our people are still new to her.”

“Our life on the arc was harsh. My mother was a good woman. She taught me to read and write, and would read to me and my brother every night. But every day, I was forced into a hole in the floor. Forced to live my life in solitude, a prisoner to the Arc’s laws. I lived in the floor for sixteen year until I was arrested for existing. To birth a second child was punishable by death, and that exactly what happened. The floated my mother, and locked me away with the rest of the underage criminals.”

“You understand our ways better than the rest of Skaikru,” Lexa stated. 

“That’s because I have Lincoln. He is my family now, just as much as Bellamy. He teaches me our ways,” Octavia said. 

“Just as your mother and brother taught you the ways of Skaikru.”

“Sha.” 

“And yet you condemn Clarke and I for not warning our people about the missile,” Lexa said, and then stopped walking. They were standing at the edge of the hole that was created by the missile.

“People died because of your decision,” Octavia said. She didn’t look at Lexa, instead kept her eyes trained on the hole. 

“And many more were saved because of the decision,” Lexa countered. “You are not a leader Octavia. Indra sees promise in you though. She wants to train you to be a strong warrior, and a strong leader. As strong as she is. One day you will be forced to make a decision like this one, and you will understand.”

Lexa paused to see if Octavia had anything to say, and then continued. “After I learned that you knew of our secret, I ordered Ryder to kill you.”

Octavia sucked in her breath sharply, and turned to look at Lexa in shock. 

“I reassigned you to watch duty and then ordered Ryder to kill you. Clarke figured out what I had done and saved your life. She marched Ryder into my tent with her gun to his head, and refuse to let him out of her sight until I told him to stand down. I pointed out that she was willing to let you die just a few days before. I didn’t trust you to keep our secret, and that was why I ordered your death. Clarke trusted you, and I trusted Clarke so I lifted the kill order.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“So you understand. Clarke was willing to let you die the day the missile hit to save Bellamy, and to protect the plan. She was willing to put herself in danger to save you just a few days later because you had done nothing wrong. You just had knowledge that could hurt me, and my collation. I trusted Clarke then, but I don’t trust you. You are new to our lands and our ways, and have much to learn. On the other hand, you are a Trikru who an understanding of Skaikru ways, and are in a position to teach our people their ways. I am giving you an opportunity to earn my trust for yourself.”

“And how do I do this?” Octavia asked skeptical.

“Clarke is hurting. I need you be a good friend to her. Forgive her for the missile if she asks for it, listen to her as she speaks, teach her our ways, and do not condemn her for the things she did to protect her people. She is doing enough of that herself. Can you do this Octavia kom Trikru?”

Octavia turned to look at the hole. “Clarke saved our friends. Their alive because of what she did. My brother is alive because of what she did. That’s all I care about. I’ll give Clarke her forgiveness if she asks.”

“Mochof,” Lexa said. 

“Sha Heda,” Octavia said. She turned toward Lexa, and bowed slightly. 

“You’ll have my trust once you prove yourself. Protect Clarke with your life. You are dismissed,” Lexa said. 

Octavia nodded again, and walked away. 

Lexa looked in the hole and for a brief moment she allowed herself to feel the grief of her people. She allowed herself to feel weak. She had been taught all her life that love was weakness. When she fell in love with Costia, she had for a few months allowed herself to feel otherwise. After Costia was murdered, she was certain that Titus’s teaching were right. He had told her many times that to be commander, meant to be alone. 

Clarke was making her feel differently. Clarke had saved her people because of her love for them, not by shutting those feelings off. Her love was what gave her the strength to do what needed to be done. She was sure Titus just didn’t understand what it took to be a leader. Maybe it wasn’t love that was weakness, but the feelings that you let over take you. That you let cloud your judgement. Maybe what her people saw as weakness, was really just her greatest strengths. The massacre of Ton DC proved that she was able to put her feelings aside, and do what was best for her people. Clarke was right, she had felt for the people of this village. She wasn’t so cold hearted as her people were lead to believe. She was ruthless, but only when she had to be. There had be a balance between them. 

Lexa gave the hole, one finale look and then turned around. She mentally bottled up her grief, and schooled her features. She had wounded people to see today, to check on their recovery. She had a plan set in place for the rebuilding of the village, and she had to ride to Camp Jaha to make the appropriate arrangement there. All the while a feast was being prepared for the nights festivities. Festivities that were sure to carry on well into the night. 

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Octavia walked back into Lexa’s tent to find Clarke bent over the bed vomiting violently into the bucket beside her. “Ugh, that sounds pleasant,” she quipped, as she moved to pull Clarke’s braid hair back. 

“It’s not,” Clarke cried, and then vomited again. 

“I bet you can’t wait for this war to be won,” Octavia joked. 

Clarke sat up, and gave Octavia a glare. “Very funny.”

“I thought so,” Octavia said, as she took the bucket to empty it. She returned a minute later to find Clarke laying down in the furs again. She sat down on the chair and watched the blonde in interest. Clarke was watching her as well. “So I just had a very interesting conversation.”  
Clarke tired looking eyes were suddenly alert. 

“I’ve been given a chance to earn Heda’s trust for myself, instead of relying on her trust for you to save my life.”

Clarke’s eyes widened. “She told you?” 

“That she placed a kill order on my head, and that you saved me. Yeah. She told me,” Octavia said. 

“Why would she do that? If her people find that out that she let you live, then they will think that she is weak.”

“I think that is a part of why she told me. A test of sorts to see if I am loyal,” Octavia said. “You are the reason she told me though. She wanted to make sure that I understood that you did what you had to do, not because you wanted to, but out of necessity. You were willing to let me die to protect Bellamy, and the plan, but when killing me would only ease fear, you saved me. She was very clear that I not hurt you with my anger. That I give you forgiveness for the missile if you asked for it.” 

Clarke opened her mouth to say something, but Octavia out her hand up to silence her. “She made it clear that you were torturing yourself enough over the things you did, and didn’t need my judgment on top of that torture. I may not understand how you could just let it happen, but I do understand why you did. You don’t need my forgiveness because there is nothing to forgive. You save our friends. My brother is alive because of what you did. Our people are safe. That’s all that matters now Clarke.”

Clarke teared up at Octavia’s words but refused to let the tears fall. She didn’t deserve any body’s forgiveness, but she appreciated it all the same. Her heart felt a little lighter knowing that Octavia doesn’t hate her any more. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me. Thank the Commander,” Octavia said. She eyed Clarke curiously, unsure if she should asked her question or not. She wanted to know but didn’t want to cross the Commander. Lexa had said to be a good friend though, and she was always reading about friends gossiping about their lives. “What’s going on between you and the Commander?” 

Clarke looked taken back by the random question. “I don’t know what you’re talking about Octavia.”

“Don’t play dumb with me Clarke. First I find you cuddling with her, and then the Commander pulls me aside to make sure I don’t hurt you. You’re not going to tell me that there isn’t something going on.” 

Clarke stared at Octavia in slight awe. For somebody who lived under the floor for her whole life, she was damn good at reading people. She briefly wondered if this was why Indra thought Octavia would make a good warrior. She would have to make a point to ask Indra. 

“I don’t know,” Clarke sighed, and then sat back up. She picked up her mug and stared at the contents intently between each tentative sip. “She kissed me.”

Octavia’s eyes widened comically, and her mouth dropped open in shock. “She what?”

“After she told me that you had nothing to fear from her, she kissed me,” Clarke said. 

“Just out of the blue. Hi, I won’t kill Octavia, please be mine? That’s a hell of a pickup line.”

“It wasn’t like that exactly,” Clarke said, slightly amused by Octavia. “She said her ways seem harsh, but that how they survive. And then I told her that maybe life should be about more than just surviving. Then she said maybe you’re right, and kissed me.” 

“Damn. What did you do? Did you kiss back? What was it like?” 

“I was shocked when I realized what she was leaning in to do, but that went away the second her lips touched mine. It was like my mind brain froze and all could feel was her. I kissed her back. Then she broke the kiss to turn her head, and the world came crashing back to me. I saw Finn tied to that post. I could feel his body as I killed him. I pulled back and told her that I was sorry, and that I wasn’t ready to be with anybody yet.”

“You didn’t completely shut her down,” Octavia stated. “You seemed awfully cuddly for somebody who shot down her advances.” 

Clarke looked back down at her mug, as tears welled in her eyes. She was unable to keep them from falling this time. “It hurts, O. To think about what I did to save everybody. I see their burnt bodies every minute. I dream about saving them. I dream about them rising from the dead and trying to kill me and everybody I care for. I hear Raven’s screams in my dreams. I hear my mom’s. I feel myself killing Finn over and over again. I hear the screams coming from Ton DC, and it hurts. It all hurts, and I can’t make it stop. Until Lexa touches me. A single touch from her makes it all stop. When she lays with me, the dreams can’t hurt me. I still have them, but when I wake, I have Lexa there to make it stop.”

“So are you together?” Octavia asked confused. 

“No.” 

Octavia’s brows furrowed deeper in confusion. “Have you talked about what all this means at least?”

“We have. I told her that I need to get over everything. She told me that she would give me the time I needed, but that she would be here for whatever I needed. Even if it was just her laying with me.”

A smile formed on Octavia’s lips. “She loves you.” 

Clarke looked up sharply at Octavia. 

“Lexa see love as a weakness,” Clarke said. 

“And yet she has declared that she will wait for you until you are ready. Only somebody who is in love with you will do that. Do you think you could love Lexa?”

Clarke sighed. “I think maybe one day I can. I don’t know what I feel for Lexa. My emotions are a jumbled mess at the moment. I do know that she makes it easier. She makes me feel like maybe one day I won’t hurt as badly. That maybe I can forgive myself for what I’ve done.”

Octavia sat forward a little. “We deserve to be happy Clarke. You gave us that chance. You saved our friends, and now because of you, Skaikru has the chance to thrive with the help of grounders. Don’t beat yourself up too much.” 

“I’m glad that you don’t hate me anymore,” Clarke said. 

“I never hated you. I just didn’t understand how you could do something like that. I get it now,” Octavia said. She eye the mug in Clarke’s hands. “How are you feeling?”

“Better. Nyko’s tea really helps,” Clarke said. 

“Do you need anything? You bath is probably cold by now, but I can have then warm it back up.”

Clarke smiled at her friend again. “That sounds good. Thank you.” 

Octavia help Clarke out of bed, and they slowly made their way to the bathhouse. They spent the rest of the day talking, and joking. Being around Octavia, knowing that she didn’t hate her, made Clarke’s troubled mind feel better. She felt a little more at ease with what she had done.


	5. Completing Phase One

Abby was slowly making her way towards the sick bay exhausted. Her hip was hurting far worse than it had been the last few days, and she had a terrible headache. She and Indra had not been able to ease the warrior’s minds, nor had they gotten the Arkers to agree to leave their weapons behind. They had a day’s worth of food left in the food hut. Half the arc still had no power, and the best person to fix this was laid up in bed recovering from her injuries. 

As if that wasn’t bad enough, most of the remaining hundred were going through varying degrees of post-traumatic stress disorder. Some jumped at the slightest noises, a few were drinking themselves into stupors each night, most woke screaming in the middle of the night, and all of them were refusing to leave each other’s side. They had set up their own little camp by the lake. It was weighing heavily on the rest of Camp Jaha. There was talk from the eldest of their people, that Abby should dis-banned the camp, and force the group to separate. Fears of the remaining hundred returning to their delinquent ways and start causing havoc for the adults were leading this charge. 

Abby was trying to ease tensions as much as possible, because she knew the kids just needed some time to heal. She also knew that she was going to have to do something eventually. Not to ease the elders, but to get the kids to move on and start living their lives. 

Abby looked at her watch and sighed. It was only noon. There was still so much to do before the camp had to start heading the hour long trip to Ton DC for the celebration. She had to make her rounds around sick bay, and then she had to go check on Raven. After that she and Indra were going to attempt again to gain peace between their people. 

Jackson was changing the IV of one of their grounder patients. A woman in her late teens, who had been reported to have been bled several times just prior to her rescue. She had caught the flu just after she returned to Ton DC, and nearly died before she had been brought to the camp. There were several grounders in the camp recovering. All of whom had been sent to Abby on the brink of death.

Abby took a moment to sit at her desk and go over a few patient files, while absent mindedly rubbing at her healing hip. She had worked nearly non-stop since they returned to Camp Jaha. She hadn’t even given herself a chance to rest when she operated on Lexa’s leg. She had been sitting while patching up the bullet wound, fretting the entire time about the woman loosing too much blood. Lexa’s black blood was a curious mystery to Abby, one that she would very much like to solve. During the surgery though they couldn’t transfuse the woman because giving her a blood type that wasn’t compatible with her own could have killed her. 

Abby was midway through her third chart when Kane stepped through the doors, with Lexa just behind him. Fear settled in her chest at the sight of the woman. “Lexa. What are you doing here? Did something happen to Clarke?”

“Clarke is fine. The one you call Octavia is with her seeing that she is well taken care of. I am here to scout your terrain, and the Camp.”  
Abby was taken back by that. “Why?”

“To assess how much room you will need for the expansion, see how many winterized dwellings you are going to need to be built, and prepare for the spring crops. If my people are to help you, I must be fully informed of what will be needed.” 

“Oh.” 

Kane, sensing Abby’s discomfort, stepped in and said. “The commander is requesting one of our people help by explaining our mechanical needs.” 

“Yes,” Lexa said agreeing. “Clarke has mentioned that it is something called electricity that lights your dwelling, and makes your life saving machines work. I am un-familiar with how this works, and would like to be informed.” 

“I was thinking Raven would be the best person for the job,” Kane said. 

“You’re right. Raven would be the best person for the job, provide you aren’t planning on taking her from her bed,” Abby said pointedly.   
“I have much to do today before the feast. I would like Raven to accompany as I tour the grounds. Ryder has offered to carry Raven as we walk, so that she may continue to rest,” Lexa said, somewhat impatiently. 

Abby looked at Lexa wearily. She wanted to tell the woman that it wasn’t a good idea. That Raven needed rest, but she also didn’t want to piss off the commander. Not after the woman had traveled all the way to camp just to start preparing to help her people. She sighed as she said, “If Raven is willing, I will release her from her bed rest, as long as you promise Raven’s feet don’t touch the ground unless she is sitting.” 

“I promise, Abby of the sky people, Raven will continue to rest,” Lexa said curtly. 

Kane turned around and gestured to the door. “I will escort you to Raven’s room. The arc may not be the same size it used to be, but it is still very easy to get lost if you don’t know your way around.”

“Mochof,” Lexa said, and then followed behind Kane as he escorted her to Raven’s room. As they walked, Lexa looked carefully at everything that passed. She peeked into open doors, watched as he lights flickered, and a few loose cords sparked. It was all very interesting to her. 

Raven’s door was propped open, and the woman was sitting up in her bed glaring at the door. A huge smile crossed her lips when she saw Kane enter, with the Commander. “How’s Clarke?” she asked immediately. 

“Clarke is surviving,” Lexa said amused. That was the sixteenth time she had been asked that question so far. 

Raven smiled widely. “Surviving is better than dying.” 

“Yes it is,” Lexa agreed. 

“So what brings you by? Are you coming to break me out?” Raven asked hopefully. She was itching to get out of her bed and to get out of her room. Abby had Raven so restricted that she couldn’t even walk herself to the bathroom, and it had been over a week since she had been allowed to go bathe. Every time she tried to get out of bed somebody would magically appear to put her back, or roll her to where she needed to be in the makeshift wheelchair Wick had built.

Kane smile as he stepped forward. “As a matter of fact we are.”

Raven cheered and threw her arms in the air. She went to get out of bed when she was stopped by Lexa. “I have promise Abby your feet will not touch the ground unless you are sitting. Ryder will carry you.” 

“Kane,” Raven whined. “I’m fine. It’s been over a week. My hip is fine, and my leg is healing.”

“Sorry Raven, not only are they doctor’s orders, but the Chancellors as well. Nothing can trump that.”

Raven grumbled, “Clarke can,” under her breath, which Lexa and Ryder keen sense of hearing picked up. Ryder snorted, knowing all too well that what Clark wants, she gets one way or another, and Lexa hid her smirk. 

Lexa stepped forward with no trace of the smirk. “Allow my warrior the honor of escorting you today.”

Raven scoffed, “How is it an honor to carry around a cripple?”

Ryder stepped forward, and knelled. “Skaiprisa was able to slay the mountain because you made the dam go boom.” 

Raven snorted. “I also made myself go boom. Not exactly my finest moment.”

“You were brave Raven of the sky people,” Ryder said. 

Lexa nodded her head in agreement. “Ryder is correct. You were brave to go. You have a disability which did not stop you. You risked your life to ensure that Clarke’s plan worked. I would be proud to call you one of my people.”

Raven stared at the Commander in shock. She could have sworn she heard a compliment come from the normally stoic woman.

“Come. There is much do and discuss,” Lexa ordered, and then gestured to Ryder to pick the girl up.

Kane left them to meet with Indra and Abby about the rift between their people. He had tried early this morning to ease the tensions, and still nothing worked. 

Lexa, Ryder, and Raven traveled around the arc inspecting each room, as Raven explained how the electricity worked, how they heated the arc in the freezing cold sky, how they generated air, and water. She had explained that the heating system had been damaged in the drop, and there was a party of engineers and mechanics scouring the second landing site in hopes of being able to fix it. 

Lexa listened intently, absorbing all of what Raven had to say and show her. Every once in a while she would question something that Raven was telling her, or explain to Raven how her people did something. She had expressed many ideas on how the sky people could heat the arc in the heating system couldn’t be fixed. This sent Raven on a long wind mini brainstorming rant, which Lexa actively participated in throwing her own people’s engineering. 

After every inch of the arc had been searched, the group moved outside. They traveled the lengths of the arc that was protected by the fence. Lexa was looking at all of the makeshift building that had already been put up, noting that they wouldn’t stay standing once the harsh winds of winter started, nor would they survive if a particularly harsh fall storm rolled in.

Raven made them stop near a group of tents where the remaining hundred had taken up residents. The three medium sized tents were crudely built out of fallen tree branches, and tarp and blankets that had been salvaged from the dropship. The tents weren’t nearly as nice as the ones that they had at the dropship sight, but they kept them relatively dry and at least kept the cold from settling in during the night. 

Lexa asked why they were staying outside if there was room for them inside. Raven had given Lexa a sad look at the question. She had been talking to Monty about it earlier that day, and wasn’t happy about what was occurring. 

She explained to Lexa that everybody who had come to earth on the dropship had been prisoners on the arc, and despite being pardoned for their petty crimes were being shunned by the adults. 

Lexa then asked, “Why is Abby allowing her people to shun the young.” 

“She doesn’t know,” Raven said sadly. “Abby thinks that they are banding together because of what they went through, not because they have no choice. Only a few of them have parents living.”

“Why has nobody informed her,” Lexa asked, not understanding how Abby could be so clueless to what was going on with her people in her own camp. 

“I just found out this morning. I haven’t had a chance to tell her yet,” Raven said. 

“And what of the others. Why have they not reported this to their leader?” 

“The adults dropped them to earth as lab rats. They didn’t know we could survive down here. The hundred were the test. They had to learn to survive on their own without them, and they did. We did. They are just slipping back into that mentality.” 

“And you call my people savages,” Lexa commented disapprovingly. 

“Well you did tie me to pole and cut me,” Raven commented snidely. 

“I thought you tried to kill me. It was justified,” Lexa said, unwaveringly. 

“Fair enough,” Raven said, and let it drop. 

Lexa was quiet as they walked towards the gates to inspect the land surrounding Camp Jaha. There was another reason why she had insisted on Raven accompanying her as she inspected the camp. She felt like she needed to talk with Raven just as she had with Abby, and Octavia. More so because Raven had just cause to be upset with Clarke, and with her. Clarke explained to Lexa after Raven pitched the plan to destroy the dam, that Finn had been Raven’s love. That he had been the only person she could call family. 

Lexa wanted to make sure that Raven understood why Clarke did what she did, and why she had ordered the boy’s death. She wanted to make sure that Raven was moving past her loss, and wouldn’t hold a grudge against Clarke. 

They spent an hour walking outside Camp Jaha’s limits, ideally talking about expanding the walls, where would be the best spot on the land to start farming, and if each clan would be comfortable with the changes that were to be implemented. 

Once Lexa was sure she had all the information she needed to present to the clans, she motioned for Ryder to sit Raven on a fallen tree near the lake. She quietly told the man to leave them and sat down next to Raven. The sun was already dipping low into the sky, but the sky was still a sunny shade of yellow. The feast in Ton DC would start once the Moon was just peeking above the mountains. She still had a few hours before she had to return home. 

“Your home has fallen in a good spot,” Lexa told Raven, in an attempted to break the silence that had fallen between them. “Right by the water, close enough to the trees for hunting and building, but far enough away for you people village to grow and prosper.”

“I think I liked it better at the drop ship,” Raven mused. “More cover to protect us from your warriors. It’s too open here. You can hear and see everything.” 

“As long as your people fall in line, then you have nothing to fear from me,” Lexa said. She continued to stare the water. The sun was dancing on the surface, birds were bathing and swimming, a beaver was making its home in the center of the large body of water. It was serene.   
Raven turned away from the view and stared daggers at Lexa. “And what happens if we don’t fall in line?”

Lexa turned to look at Raven. “Camp Jaha will seize to exist, but only if your people demand war. Each clan are their own people, with their own traditions, and their own laws. Most clans have similar ways of life, but there are a few that are more brutal then others, or more forgiving. Peace between my people rests solely on one law. No clan is to attack another, for doing so without my permission is an act of war.”

“So all we have to do is not attack your people and were safe? Seems simple enough, but there’s always a catch,” Raven said skeptically.  
Lexa nodded her head, slightly, weighing her options. With each sky person she spoke with her annoyance of them grew. She was not used to explaining herself to people. Titus often forced her to speak of her plans to him, but he knew his place. He was her subject, and he did as she was told. The sky people were different. With them she had no choice but to explain herself in some way, or she would never achieve her goals. 

“Clarke is that catch,” she said, carefully choosing her words wisely. She needed to give Raven just enough information to sate her curiosity, without actually giving her the whole picture. “Clarke is that catch. My people may not be as accepting to the Skaikru, as the Trikru have been, but they see Clarke as their savior. Many of the warriors who fought at the mountain have returned home to tell the tale of the Skaiprisa. The daughter of the Skaikru’s leader, who rose above even she, and slayed the mountain. I received word from Polis yesterday that Clarke’s tale has already reached each of the twelve clans, and they are hailing her Wanheda, The Commander of Death. Clarke is feared as much as she is revered.”

“So you want to do what with Clarke?” Raven asked, not understanding why they were even having this conversation.   
“I want Clarke to be a good leader,” Lexa said. “Clarke is what will get my people to accept Skaikru, but in order for her to do that, her mind has to be whole.” 

Raven’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion as she thought over Lexa’s words.

“Clarke is haunted by what she has done to protect her people,” Lexa continued. “The dead haunt her dreams. Your Finn haunts her dreams.”  
Realization dawns on Raven.

“She lets her heart cloud her mind. She knows that killing Finn and irradiating the mountain as the right choice. The only choice to save her people, but the grief of her actions clouds that.” 

“Don’t talk about Finn,” Raven spat. Her voice was heavy and wavering, as she fought back the tears that were welling in her eyes. “She killed him because of you.” 

“No. She killed Finn because of his actions. Jus drein jus daun. Life is the most precious thing this world has to offer, and to take an innocent life is the greatest crime. The only way for my people to move past a death is for the dead to be at peace. That doesn’t happen if a murderer if alive, and hasn’t suffered as his victim did. Clarke saved Finn from the torment of eighteen deaths. She gave him a merciful death. She save her people from seeing it happen. She did it to fortify the alliance, and now she is tormented by it.”

“Good,” Raven spat. Her anger for Clarke was renewed. The pain she had felt as she watched Clarke step away from Finn’s lifeless body was reignited in her heart. 

“Tell me Raven of the sky people. How do you think the families of Finn’s victims feel?” Lexa asked. 

Raven opened her mouth dumfounded. “I…um…I…I guess they hurt.” 

Lexa nodded her head slightly. “I lost somebody I loved. The Queen of Azgeda believed that she knew my secrets, because she was mine. Costia was taken from me, tortured, killed, and her head was delivered to my bed. My heart ached for revenge, ached for her to return to me, and it still aches because the Ice Queen lives. To kill the Queen would have brought about a war that I wasn’t ready for. A war that would have annihilated half my clans. So I made an alliance with her, and welcomed her into my collation. To save my people, I will feel the pain of Costia’s death until the queen meets her demise.” 

Raven’s anger eased slightly. “I forgave Clarke for killing Finn, after you almost killed me. I realized why she did it. I’m still angry at Clarke, Finn’s death still hurts, but I forgave her.”

“Your anger is what can hurt Clarke. It will make her heart ache more, and that ache will make Clarke second guess her decisions. Your people need her to be whole, to know that you accept what she has done, and that you are grateful for her sacrifices.” 

Raven sighed and turned back to the lake staring thoughtfully over the rippled surface. So much had happened since she fell to earth in the pod. They had lost so many people, and all she wanted was to put everything behind her like a bad memory. She unconsciously rubbed her bad hip and leg. She was slowly starting to accept her disability, and get used to not being able to feel one of her legs. She supposed this is how she wanted all the pain she felt since coming to earth to be like. It was there, a part of her, shaping who she was, but not being able to feel the pain of it all. She knew from experience that over time pain eased and you were just left with memories and longing.

Raven looked back at the Commander, who was looking at the lake, and asked, “Why are you going through all this trouble?”

Lexa looked at Raven. “For peace. My people will look to Clarke as the leader of Skaikru. She can insure that the alliance is upheld, and that anybody who wishes for Skaikru’s demise are swayed to the other side. She can provide peace for your people. Clarke is strong. She is willing to do whatever it takes to protect her people, but at a great cost to herself. True and lasting peace can only be achieved if she is at peace with herself.” 

“Earth is nothing like we thought it would be,” Raven told Lexa. “It is more beautiful, and more devastating than we ever imagined. All we want to do is survive. If Clarke wants my forgiveness for killing Finn, then she can have it. She saved him from the worst this world has to offer. She saved him from himself.”

“Clarke needs her friends as much as she needs forgiveness,” Lexa said softly. 

“Clarke doesn’t have to worry about me not having her back,” Raven scoffed. “She killed my only family, and I still did what she needed me to do. Jasper is the one you have to worry about. Clarke killed his girlfriend when she irradiated level five.” 

“He will see, just as you have, that Clarke only didn’t it to save them. Times of peace are different then times of war,” Lexa told her. “Tonight we celebrate the victory Clarke brought us. Come with me to Ton DC and join us in our celebrations.” 

“Abby will never allow me,” Raven said.

“Then I will make her allow you,” Lexa said, and the stood. She motioned for Ryder to return.

“Wait,” Raven said. “You are so worried about me holding a grudge against Clarke, but you have said anything to sway me from holding a grudge against you.” 

“That is because there is nothing to hold a grudge for. I had thought you tried to poison me. I had proof that you did this,” Lexa said. 

“And what if I don’t feel like it is justified?” Raven asked.

“Then that is for you to figure out. I cannot control your emotions, only you can do that,” Lexa stated. She looked down at the woman. “For what it matters, I am glad that Clarke saved your life. Clarke needs you, and so do your people.” 

“It matters little coming from you,” Raven told her. “And a lot at the same time.” 

Lexa let her facade drop, and looked at Raven with confusion written on her face. She did not understand the Skaikru at times. 

“I won’t get over what you did until the cuts are healed, but it does mean a lot to know you are glad I’m alive. Besides, it’s not like it was personal. Not like with your general.”

Lexa nodded her head, but she didn’t trust herself to say anything about Gustus. His betrayal still hurt her immensely, and having to kill him hurt even more. He was just one example that she put her head over heart, and suffered for it. She prayed her plan would work. She prayed that she could lead her people into a peaceful time. So that she didn’t have to kill somebody else that she cared for. 

“Then let us leave this behind us, and forge a new future,” Lexa said. She extended her arm out as an offer for a truce. 

Raven looked at the arm and then back up at the Commander. It was such a simple gesture, and yet the meaning behind it was bigger than either could imagine. Raven wrapped her hand around Lexa’s forearm, and then nodded her head. She had a feeling that Lexa was a woman of few words, and would easily understand what Raven was saying with the nod.

They dropped their arms, as Lexa began speaking. “I must find your Chancellor. Ryder will take you back to your room, for you to gather whatever you need for the trip. There is a tent sent up for the Skaikru, so you can stay in Ton DC as long as you like.”

“Thank you Commander,” Raven said. 

“Thank me after I get Abigale to agree to this,” Lexa said, and Raven could have sworn she heard a slight chuckle amongst the words. “We ride in an hour.” 

Lexa walked away from where Raven was sitting with an ease in her chest. 

Phase One: Complete


	6. The Celebration

The moon was high in the night sky. Half a dozen fires were burning brightly around the camp. Makeshift tables were sitting in the shape of a U, each loaded with food, and spirits. The children had long since been put to bed, leaving the adults to celebrate free of worry. 

A makeshift stage and been built at the head of the clearing, overlooking the celebrating people. Lexa’s throne had been moved from her tent and was sitting in the center of the stage, partially hidden behind a table. There were a total of four chairs on both sides of Lexa, each filled. Indra was sitting in the chair to Lexa’s left, followed by Ryder, Marcus, and Bellamy. To Lexa’s right, were Clarke, Abby, Raven, and Octavia. 

Indra had not been happy with the seating arrangements, but didn’t put up a fight about it. Lexa wanted the leaders of Skaikru and the heroes of the mountain at the front of the celebration.

It had taken many promises to Abby for the Chancellor to allow Raven to make the trip to Ton DC, much to the injured woman’s excitement. Raven had talked through the entire trip from her spot in the cart. She had many Skaikru companions to talk to though, as Lexa had also convinced Abby to allow the remaining hundred to accompany them as well. 

Lexa had yet to have a chance to speak with Abby about the issue with the remaining hundred, but planned to in the morning. For tonight she wanted the Skaikru and her people come together for a night of celebrations. To allow those who condemned Clarke for her actions to see firsthand what her leader saved with her actions. The families that were reunited, and the future torment Clarke saved her people. 

In front of Clarke and Lexa sat many gifts that had been presented to them by her people. Handcrafted blades, newly crafted sword for each of them, furs, clothing, cloths, paper, charcoal, and much more. There were smaller piles in front of Abby, (for her healing their people), Bellamy (For infiltrating the mountain), Octavia (because word had spread that she had been the one who was with Clarke when she entered the mountain), and Raven (for blowing up the dam, allowing their people to be freed.)

Clarke was leaning to the left of her chair heavily. She was feeling much better than she had, but was still weak. She was thankfully keeping all of her food down, and used that fact to convince her mother to remove the IV bag for the night. The needle and tube were still in her arm, but were hidden beneath her long sleeved shirt. 

She was baffled by the amount of gifts, and was humble about accepting them. Lexa could tell that Clarke was struggling with the amount of respect she was being shown. The mountain still haunted her, but there was a level of understanding in the respect. It was like a push and pull with her. On one hand she didn’t want the praise from them because she had taken so many lives. On the other hand she could see firsthand what her actions did. By slaying the mountain she had given people their lives back.

Lexa had watched the remaining hundred closely throughout the feast. They had all managed to huddle together around one of the fires. At first they were quiet. They ate their food in silence, but their faces lit up at the taste of the food. The people from Ton DC had gone out of their way to prepare every dish they knew how to cook. From pies, to pastries, stews, pastas, and bread.

Lexa was pleased to see them enjoying the food. With trade routes that were set up with the Collation, her people ate well. Her warriors were the only ones who kept to a diet of just meat, nuts, and berries, and that was only during time of war.

After Clarke’s people, (which is what Lexa started calling the remaining hundred,) finished eating, they each were handed a mug full of spirits from various grounders on Lexa’s orders. She wanted them to feel welcome among her people. Once they had a sufficient amount of spirits in them, they all seemed to lighten up a little. They talked freely between each other, and then they slowly started to talk to Trigedakru who could speak English. Most were around their age, but a few were the older people who were curious about the people who fell from the sky. 

The only person who remained sitting at the campfire not engaging with anybody was Jasper. After exchanging a questioning glance with Raven to see if this was who she had mentioned earlier, Lexa excused herself from the table. She grabbed a jug from the refreshments table, and a clay mug for herself and sat next to the boy. He looked up at her and froze.

Lexa filled her mug up, and then handed the jug to Jasper. She looked up at the table to see Clarke watching her intently. She looked back at the boy, who had yet to fill his mug. “Drink,” she said simply. As if on auto pilot, he filled the mug, and then handed the jug back to her. 

Lexa had originally been planning on not talking to Jasper like she had with Abby, Octavia, and Raven. She had figured that it was too soon after the heart ache to try and ease his anger at Clarke. Seeing him sitting there alone while everybody else was enjoying the celebration, made her rethink her original plan. 

“I have been told that you lost somebody you loved in the mountain,” Lexa said. 

Jasper looked at her sideways, a snarky comment about Clarke killing Maya on his lips, but remembered that Lexa could kill him in a second. “Maya.” 

“Maya. Clarke mentioned her while we planned. She was helping Bellamy, was she not?”

“She was,” Jasper said quietly. He brought his mug to his lips and down the sweet liquid in a full gulps. He brought the mug down to rest between his knees, and stared at the bottom. “She helped keep us alive.”

“Is she why you aren’t celebrating with you people?”

“Don’t really feel like celebrating the death of people who helped us,” Jasper said snidely. 

“Then celebrate the sacrifice they made. Celebrate the live that were save, instead of the lives lost.” 

Jasper looked at Lexa with anger burning in his eyes. “Maya died because Clarke killed her.” 

Lexa calmly said, “Maya’s death was ordered long before her birth. It was ordered over fifty years ago when my people first started going missing. Her fate was always to die in that mountain. My people believe that we are born for a single purpose. Perhaps her purpose was you. To make sure that you stayed alive so you can fill your destiny. Celebrate the life she lived. Celebrate the good things she brought to your life. Celebrate the life you get to live.”

Lexa filled his mug, and then stood. She left Jasper sitting by the fire, and returned the jug to the table. She began walking among her people, stopping every now and again to converse with small groups of people.

The adults from both clans were wearier of each other than the young ones. They were keeping themselves more segregated. There were a few Arkers who had been on the mountain who were conversing with some of the warriors they had meet, and a few Trigedakru villagers who were actively seeking out Arkers to speak with. 

Lexa had hoped that the two clans would come together on their own, but it seems as though they were going to need a push. She went back to her spot next to Clarke and whispered something in her ear. Indra stood up, and disappeared. A few minutes later she returned, and as she retook her seat soft drums started sounding around the camp. Clarke looked around in awe as the strumming of a guitar was added to the drums, followed by violins, and wooden flutes. 

Lexa smiled at Clarke, and stood up. She offered her hand to Clarke, and softly asked, “May I have this dance?”

Clarke blushed and smiled softly. She took the offered hand and stood up. She allowed Lexa to escort her to the small open area in front of their table. It was the perfect size to use as a makeshift dance floor. Lexa subtly gesture to Ryder and Lincoln to do the same, before turning to Clarke. She placed both her hands on Clarke’s hips, and Clarke laid her arms around her neck. She pulled Clarke close so that their bodies were barely an inch apart. They began to sway to the soft beat. 

At the table, Ryder was lifting Raven up and carrying her to the dance floor, with loud protests from the woman. “I’ll dance with you, but you need to set me down,” She exclaimed. 

For which he replied, “We can dance with you in my arms.” Raven huffed, but seemed to enjoy Ryder twirling her around the dance floor in large circles.

Miller’s dad braved approaching Indra, and asked her to dance with him. She looked at him with a stoic look, but agreed. Clarke swore she saw a smile grace the woman’s lips a little while later. 

A young grounder woman approached Marcus, and asked his to dance, which he gratefully agreed to. Abby was surprised when a female warrior approached her for a dance, but she smiled and accepted. Soon the dance floor was filled with dancing pairs, most of which were a mix of the two clans. 

Clarke looked into Lexa’s eyes with a smile. Even Jasper had joined them when a Trikru boy their age had asked to dance with him. 

“This is better than I could have imagined Earth,” She said quietly, and then laid her head on Lexa’s shoulder. 

“Are you tired?” Lexa asked.

“Yes, but I don’t want to leave. I just want to keep dancing with you,” Clarke said.

Her breath tickled Lexa’s neck. “Whatever you want.”

“Our people are dancing with each other. They seem to be getting along. That’s all I want tonight,” Clarke said. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For everything. For taking care of me. For inviting damn near all of my people tonight. For dancing with me, and getting them to do the same.” Clarke lifted her head, and looked into Lexa’s eyes. “For being you.” 

“Always,” Lexa said. They danced for a little while, but retired to their chairs when Clarke became too weak to keep going. The sat together and watched their people mingling. Dancing and talking together.

“This is amazing,” Clarke said. 

“This is nothing compared to the feast that will be held in Polis upon my return,” Lexa said. “I have word that hunting parties are already out seeking meat for the feast. All of the clan leaders will be there to celebrate. The entire city will be lit with lights, and loud with talk and music. Whole villages are said to be traveling to the capitol to join the celebrations.”

“It sounds amazing,” Clarke said. 

“You slayed our greatest enemy. This year’s harvest festival is going to be like none before. People are free to travel without the shadow casted over us by the mountain.” Lexa gently placed her hand over Clarke’s. “I want you to come with me.” 

Clarke looked at Lexa in surprise, although she wasn’t sure why she was surprised. Lexa had already asked her to travel to Polis with her before the battle. 

“Your people are welcome to accompany you,” Lexa said. “You can get to meet the other leaders, and their people. We can discuss trades with them, and a new stronger alliance.”

Clarke looked at her people. They looked happy. For the first time since they landed they weren’t being hunted. They had hope for their survival. No. They had hope for good lives, and she wanted to keep it that way. 

She looked at Lexa. There was something between them. She knew that, and despite not being ready to explore the possibility of them being more than friends, she wasn’t ready to separate from her. Besides, Polis sounded amazing to her. 

“When do we leave?” 

“We leave in six days. The trip to Polis will take almost two days by horse, but there is much to see on the way. There is a village about a day’s trip from here that lines the road with lighted pumpkins in celebration of the harvest.”

“Jack-o-lanterns?” Clarke asked surprised. 

“Is that what your people call them?” Clarke nodded. “Why” 

Clarke snorted at the adorable looked on Lexa’s face. “I have no clue,” she chuckled. “I’ve only read about them in books. They were part of a celebration called Halloween.” 

“Hal-o-ween,” Lexa said slowly. “What was that?”

“It’s the last day of October. Original the holiday was celebrated a Wiccan holiday to celebrate the night that the veil between the living and the dead was thinnest. The last hundred years before the bombs fell it was just a fun way for kids to dress up as monsters and cartoon characters and go around to peoples doors asking for treats, and for adults to try and scare each other with haunted houses and scary movies.”

Lexa looked confused. Clarke laughed. “Haunted houses just have people jumping out at you while you walked through a maze to try and scare you, and I have no clue how to explain movies to you. When the ark’s systems are restored I’ll have Monty see if the movies are still in there. If so, I will show you. If not then I try and come up with a way to explain it to you.” 

“Then I look forward to the day the Ark is restored. Do you celebrate this holiday?”

“In a way. We couldn’t really decorate the ark like they did before the bombs. There wasn’t enough art supplies to fashion decorations, and we didn’t have costumes. During the month of October they did play every Halloween movie ever created, though. The only holiday we actually celebrated on the ark was Unity day, and that’s only because it was created on the Ark to celebrate the day twelve stations became one station.”

“We celebrate many holidays on the ground. Some that were created before the bombs that were passed down from the survivors, and a few that were created after. There is a record of which were old and which are new, but it doesn’t says what the old ones were once called. Only their new names.”

“You have books?”

“There are very few books that survived the bombs, and none that I can read. I can only read Trigedasleng. There are a great number of books written in Trigdasleng. There are many diaries of previous Heda’s. Then there is the record books. There are a few men and woman who have been writing about legends passed down through the generations. I am often gifted with these special books. They are very entertaining, especially when the author creates a new story from the legends.”

“I wish I could read Trigedasleng. I loved to read as much as I love to draw. The ark has an archive of every book ever written, but I don’t know if the computers survived or not.” 

“Then I will teach you to speak and read my language so that you can enjoy my books as well,” Lexa said.

“I would like that,” Clarke said. She looked out over the crowd, with a smile upon her face. The tension that had filled Ton DC at the beginning of the night seemed to have leaked away entirely. Now she just saw happy people. 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Raven, Octavia, and Lincoln were sitting at one of the many fires. The camps festivities were still going but many had retired for the night, including Clarke. All three of them were filled with spirits, making both girls giggly, much to Lincoln’s amusement. The watched as Lexa was making her way around the camp, stopping at each small group of people and chatting with them before moving onto the next group. 

Most of the Skaikru adults had already retired to one of the three tents set up for them. Leaving most of the hundred left to mingle with a surprising number of Trigedakru woman and men. 

“Celebrations are meant to go all night,” Lincoln told them. “Only parents with very young goufa retire early from celebrations. Older children know that a morning after celebration they are to leave their parent be, and join each other for a morning feast. It’s their own little celebration. The guards keep watch over them until their parents wake.”

“Sounds like they have fun,” Raven said. 

“I think we had more fun,” Octavia said. 

“Nope, I think Clarke and Lexa had the most fun,” Raven countered. 

Lincoln groaned inwardly, knowing exactly where the conversation was heading. 

Raven dropped her voice lower so Lexa couldn’t hear them talking. She may be drunk but she had enough sense to do that. “Did you see the way they were looking at each other all night? It was like they were eye fucking each other.” 

“Eww, don’t need the visual Raven.” Octavia grimaced at the visual that just popped into her head. She sighed inwardly because she damn well that there was something going on between them, but she could share that with the group without breaking Clarke’s trust. “I think they had a god night. Lexa asking Clarke to dance definitely broke the tension.”

“I think there is more going on there. They were making heart eyes at each other all night, and Lexa has been tense ever since Abby took Clarke back to her tent.” 

The three of them looked over at the Commander, who was standing with Miller, Harper, and a grounder boy they didn’t know. She was talking to them quietly, with a drink in her hand, but it was very clear that Lexa was tense. Too tense for somebody who had several drinks. 

Lexa chose that moment to look over at them. They tried hard to make it look as though they hadn’t been staring at her, but their failure became real as the commander made her way over to them. Lexa sat down on the next to Raven. 

“Are you enjoying your night?” Lexa asked, slurring her words heavily. It was very clear that she had quite a bit to drink. 

“We are, Heda,” Lincoln said. 

“What do you think of our celebrations?” Lexa asked Raven and Octavia. 

“It’s nothing like a party on the ark,” Raven said, and then smiled. “The foods better.” 

“Yes I suppose it is. Clarke has expressed her love for the food many times. Even something simple like dried boar and panther.” 

“We didn’t have meat on the ark. We just had plants and vegetables,” Raven said.

“I can see why you love it then,” Lexa said. “The food here tonight was spectacular, but it is just a small amount of what people have to offer. At the Harvest Festival, there will be food from every clan. Fish, sea food, many more different kinds of pastries, meats from bears and wolves and chickens, spices from other lands, and much more.”

“It sounds amazing,” Octavia said. 

“It is. The Harvest festival last for weeks, and it is the only time a years that every clan is in Polis. There is much to trade for and buy. The furs from Azgeda bears are the warmest in the lands, and the festival is the only time they trade them.”

“Trikru has the finest wood for building the huts and fire wood,” Lincoln said. “There are villages that spend the entire year cutting down trees, and replanting them.”

“During the second week of the celebrations, the clan’s warriors compete in games,” Lexa said. 

“Do you compete in the games?” Octavia asked Lexa. 

“I only compete once a winner has been declared,” Lexa said.

“So how do the games work?” Raven asked. 

Since Lincoln was less intoxicated then Lexa, he took it amongst himself to explain for Lexa. “The first two day of the competition are two choose each clans champion. Anybody who wishes to represent their clan can compete, and at the end of the second day there is two left for each clan. After that there are four days of games. There is a day full of games to test your strength and endurance. A day for homemaking skills and hunting, and fishing. There is a day for fighting, and there is a full day of throwing things at targets. Arrows, knives, swords, axes. The top six champions are chosen for the final two days of games.”

“The winner gets the honor of competing against me in a game of my choosing,” Lexa said. “Nobody has beaten me, yet. Not in the six years I’ve been Heda.” 

“It is a great honor to compete again you though. That is true prize,” Lincoln said. 

“With the mountain slain, this year’s festival is going to be extra special,” Lexa said. “I have already asked Clarke to accompany to Polis. I have already told Clarke that she may bring whoever she chooses, but I would like to extend the offer to you myself.”

Raven’s eyes lit up at the invitation. For the first time since she stepped foot on the ground, the possibilities that Earth provided seemed real and magical. “When do we leave?”

“We depart for Polis in six days,” Lexa said.

Raven’s excitement bleed from her body slowly. “Abby will never clear me for travel in a week.”

“If you wish to join is, then I will make it happen,” Lexa said. “The people of Polis are working hard to get the festival prepared for our arrival. The festival is usually held just after the first frost lays on the ground, but due to the war it was postponed. Many had feared that they would have to wait until next year. When news of Clarke’s victory reached the people, they began preparing. I will make sure that as many Skaikru can join us.” 

Lexa drank the rest of the contents in her mug, and then stood. “Enjoy the rest of your night. I think I am going to retire.” 

“Reshop Heda,” Lincoln said, at the same time as the girls said, “Goodnight.” 

They watched as the Commander walked across the village to her tent, and slipped into her tent. Octavia then turned to Lincoln and looked at him in confusion.

“You never told me about this festival,” Octavia said accusingly. 

“We have been at war. There isn’t much time to tell you about every good thing we have on the ground, ai hodnes. I was much more concerned with you knowing the threats that come from war and breaking our laws. There is much to tell you. Many celebrations, and many traditions.” 

Raven’s wide smile showed the happiness that was flooding her chest for all to see. It was the kind of happiness that sprang from hope. The Grounder leader had invited them to the biggest grounder celebration of the year. A celebration that made the grounders sound like humans, instead of blood thirsty heathens. Maybe there was a good life waiting for them on the other side of this messed up war. 

Or her happiness was just stemming from the copious amounts of spirits she had consumed. 

“I think I’m going to bed,” Raven told the couple happily, and as if she had summoned him by magic, Ryder appeared next to her. “Would you look at that? My very own grounder.”

Ryder smiled at Raven as he bent down and picked it up. She giggled in his arms and then waved at her friends. 

She wrapped her arms around his neck, and softly said, “Thank you.” 

“For what?” He asked, looking down at her briefly. 

“For making me feel like a Princess instead of a cripple tonight,” Raven said, and then laid her head on his shoulder. 

“It has been my honor Raven kom Skaikru. My brother and mother were taken by the mountain. Any Skaikru who aided in my people’s safe return, and in our vengeance is a friend to me. You helped make our lands safe for our children again.” 

“Do you have children?” Raven asked. 

“Sha. I have a small daughter. She lives in Polis with her mother. I am excited to return home to be with her. You helped save her future.” 

Raven looked into the man’s face, and noticed something she hadn’t noticed before. She saw the look her father always wore when he talked about her. A look of a fathers love. “How do you say you’re welcome?”

“Pro,” Ryder said. 

“Pro,” Raven repeated. “You are pro.” 

Ryder smirked at Raven’s mixed usage. “Here we are, Raven Kom Skaikru.” He slipped into the tent to the far right. It was the one that most of the kids had claimed. She pointed out which spot was hers, and he gently set her down. 

“Sleep well,” he told her quietly. 

“Good night, Ryder,” Raven said, and then laid back on her cot. She was far too drunk to care about trying to escape her brace. She didn’t have any clothing to change into, so she was force to sleep in the jeans anyways.

There were about two dozen bed rolls laid out on the tent floor. All with heavy furs for the occupants to crawl into. Raven was the only one who had a raised cot, since sleeping that low to the floor would hurt Raven, and the person who was carrying her around. The furs on the cot were warm and inviting, and she sighed when she slipped between them. They were so soft to. This was nothing like the blankets she had on the Ark, which were holey and torn from a hundred years of use. The orange blankets Clarke and Bellamy had found in the bunker were nice, but not nearly as soft and warm as the furs. 

It didn’t take long for her to fall into a deep sleep. 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Clarke was awoken by the sounds of soft thuds. She opened her eyes groggily to see why she was awake, and nearly choked on her own saliva when she saw the woman in front of her. Lexa was standing just outside the private area, struggling to get her pants off her legs. She was naked from the waist up, and her pants were pushed down to mid-thigh. Lexa was attempting to get the pants off her legs, but every time she bent down to pull them off, she lost her balance sending her into the support beam with a soft thud. 

Clarke was about to sit up and go to the clearly drunk brunette when she heard Lexa huff. She had to stifle a laugh when Lexa plopped to the floor and pushed her pants off her legs. She stood up again, (with far more agility than a drunk woman should have), and gave Clarke an unintentional view of her naked body. Apparently grounders didn’t wear any kind of underwear. 

Clarke allowed her eyes to admire Lexa’s body lustfully. She raked her eyes down Lexa’s sexy body, paying close attention to her pert luscious breast, before moving down past her ab to the surprisingly bare mound between her thighs. Her eyes shifted back up to Lexa’s face, and blushed when she found Lexa staring at her with a soft smirk on her lips. 

“I hope my body is pleasing to your eyes,” Lexa said, with a heavy slur to her words. 

Clarke unconsciously let her eyes drift downward again. “Very.”

Lexa stepped closer to the bed. “Good. I am glad it pleases you,” Lexa slurred even heavier. In the morning she was going to regret downing three cups of the spirits the Skaikru had brought to the feast.

Clarke squeaked in surprise when Lexa stumbled to the bed, and gracelessly climbed over her. The woman was still stark naked. Lexa didn’t seem to notice this however. She simply crawled under the furs, and cuddled into Clarke’s side. 

“Lexa?” Clarke was slightly amused by the brunette, but she was also very aware that Lexa was lying beside her with nothing on. 

“Sha Clarke,” Lexa said. Her head remained on Clarke’s shoulder, and she had her eyes closed. 

“How much spirits did you have to drink?”

“I had quite a bit to drink tonight,” Lexa said. She opened her eyes, and looked up at Clarke. “Why do you ask? Did you wish for me to have none?”

“No. I’m glad you enjoyed yourself. You deserved to let lose a little,” Clarke reassured her. “I was just asking because I wasn’t sure if you were aware that you are naked.” 

Lexa looked down at her body, and back up to Clarke with an apologetic look on her face. “I’m sorry, Clarke. I don’t always sleep in clothing when I am home. My spirits addled mind must have forgotten that I must to wear something here. I’ll go put my nightgown on.” 

She tried to move, but Clarke stopped her. “You…ah… You don’t have to do that. I am in your bed, and if you want to sleep without clothing you should be able to. Besides, you looked like you were having trouble working the clothing tonight.” 

“I made you a promise of time, and sleeping disrobed dishonors that promise,” Lexa said. 

Clarke smiled at Lexa. Even when she is clearly drunk, the woman cares about Clarke’s comfort then her own. Lexa was looking at her with a sad eyes, as if she had just down the worst thing in the world to Clarke, and it made her heart melt. 

Clarke wasn’t sure what drove her to lean forward and draw the brunette into a kiss, but she knew that it felt right. She may have needed more time until she give herself to Lexa completely, but there was nothing stopping them from exploring those feeling. 

The kiss was tentative at first, but quickly grew deeper. Lexa’s drunken mind went blank when the blonde’s lips touched hers, leaving only her bodies desire to be with Clarke. She pushed her body up and moved her naked torso so it was flushed against Clarke’s chest. She placed her left hand on Clarke’s hip, and gently played with the skin she found peeking from beneath her shirt.

Clarke moaned as Lexa’s hand slipped under her shirt, and traveled north. Her brain was no longer thinking about the mountain, or Finn, or the victims of the missile. The only thing that was running through her mind was how lovely Lexa’s touch was. How her skin tingled everywhere the brunette touched her. How a flood a blood rushed to her center, urging her to kiss more, to touch any exposed skin she could. Without thinking about what she was doing, Clarke push Lexa onto her back and straddled the brunette naked hips. 

A cry escaped Clarke’s lips with the sudden movement, sobering both girls. The IV (which Abby had replaced before she headed to bed), was tugged tightly around Clarke’s arm, pulling at the needle. Thankfully Abby’s idea to wrap the cord around Clarke’s arm to keep her from tearing the needle out again was successful. The needle moving under her skin still hurt though.

Lexa took a deep breath to settle her raging body, and gently laid her hands on Clarke’s hips. She guided Clarke off her, and helped her to lay next to her. “Are you okay?” she questioned. Her word were still slurred, but Lexa’s eyes showed no hint of her mind being addled by the spirits. 

Clarke looked deep into Lexa’s eyes, before inspecting her arm. There was a tiny amount of blood seeping through the cloth holding the needle in place, but not enough to concern her. “I’m okay.” She looked back up at Lexa. “I’m sorry.” 

“Why?” 

“I shouldn’t have kissed you,” Clarke told her. “Your drunk, and I’m just… I don’t know what I am. I don’t know what I feel anymore. It’s all a jumbled mess, and me kissing you just confuses things. Where that was leading confuses things.” 

“I am the one who is sorry, Clarke,” Lexa said, and then crawled over Clarke to get out of the bed. She stumbled into the main room, and returned a minute later wearing a long black dressing gown. She rarely wore it when she was away from the capitol, but she was far too drunk to try and put pants on. She had a hard enough time trying to get a pair off. 

Lexa sat on the bed, and picked up Clarke’s hand. “I should have dressed before coming to bed.” 

“I forgive you for that. You are a bit inebriated, and I can understand forgetting to put clothing on. I shouldn’t have taken advantage of you by kissing you.” 

“Nowe,” Lexa said, slipping back into her native tongue. She then leaned forward and gently kissed Clarke. “I may be inebriated, but you could never do anything to me that I don’t want you to do.” Lexa laid down next to Clarke, and pulled her into her arms. “I enjoyed that kiss. Never apologize for the pleasure you give me.” 

Lexa laid her head on Clarke’s shoulder, and it wasn’t long after that when Clarke heard soft snores coming from the woman. Sleep was a little more elusive for Clarke, but she eventually drifted off into a deep sleep. 

X_X_X_X_x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Clarke awoke in the early hours of the morning from yet another nightmare. Strong arms, were wrapped around her waist, and her body was leaning backwards into Lexa’s. She laid there relishing in the comfort that Lexa gave her. Even while she slept Lexa help that power over her. 

Her mind drifted away from the vivid nightmare, and on to the night before. The Lexa from the feast had been a different Lexa. She had been softer, less guarded. Clarke could see that Lexa had broken from her duties and allowed herself to enjoy the people around her. She wondered if this was the Lexa that the people of Polis got to see. 

She thought about the dance they had shared. It was something straight out of the movies, only better. Lexa had managed to make her heart swoon, and bring their people together with a simplicity of a dance. A soft smile graced her lips when Lexa shifted behind her, and mumbled quietly in her sleep. Every once in a while a word would form on her lips, but Clarke couldn’t understand what was being said. 

She rolled over slowly, trying hard to not jostle the sleeping woman too much. Thankfully Lexa just shifted backwards slightly, allowing Clarke to lay her head on Lexa’s shoulders. She snuggled closely to the brunette. 

She though back to just a few hours before, and the kisses they shared. The intimacy of it. Her heart filled with content as she thought about how sweet Lexa had been about it. She craved the woman like nothing before. She longed for Lexa to be near her when the brunette was away, and relished in every moment they were together. It scared her how quickly the brunette had entered her heart, and how much she began relying on her. 

People she cared for always ended up getting hurt because of her. She was scared to let Lexa completely in, only to lose her. There was still so much going on inside of her. Her mind was still reeling from the first two months on the ground, and everything she had done to keep her people safe. She feared that her fractured mind might hurt Lexa far worse than their enemies. What if she never got over what she did? What if the pain of all those death slowly killed her? Lexa had already lost one love, she didn’t want Lexa to have to go through that kind of pain again. 

Clarke’s troubled mind slowly feel back into a fitful sleep. Her worries about her relationship with Lexa seeping into her dreams, turning them into nightmares. Instead of her reliving her crimes, she was forced to kill Lexa. First she dreamed that Lexa was on the Arc. Lexa was in an airlock they used for to float people. She stood tall and their eyes locked just a second before the outer doors opened, and she was sucked out into space. 

The dream faded from inside the Arc, to the lands outside Camp Jaha. Lexa was tied to the pole where she killed Finn. The brunette was looking at her with tears in her eyes. Clarke could feel the knife in her hand. She could feel as the knife slid into Lexa’s chest, the blood spilling out over her hand. 

Loud ringing, and sounds of screaming were all that Clarke could hear. There were fires, and rubble everywhere. The smoke and dust made it hard to see. Clarke was panicking, and she looked around at the destruction in Ton DC. Her eye scanning for her missing companion. Lexa wasn’t next to her like she was supposed to be. She searched, and searched. Her heart rate peeking in fear, until finally she spots her. Lexa is lying in the center of the village. Her eyes are open, her mouth is dropped slightly, and a look of fear adorned her beautiful features. A spike from the old world ruins as sticking out of Lexa’s chest. 

Clarke ran towards Lexa as fast as she could and was suddenly in the Mountain. She was in the control room with her gun raised at Lexa. She fired the shot, and Lexa’s lifeless body dropped to the floor. The scene chanced again and Clarke found herself in the dining hall, with a burnt and bleeding Lexa in her arms. Lexa was looking up at her with tears in her eyes, as she struggled for breath. She felt hopeless, and angry because she had caused it. She had killed her. 

The dream faded again. This time Clarke was standing in a room she had never seen before. It was large, with a bed and a few chairs. There were candles everywhere, and big glassless windows letting light in. She was standing in front of Murphy who was chained to chair. Her arms were raised, and she could hear herself talking to a bald man across the room. He pulled a gun out, he was saying something that Clarke didn’t comprehend. He waved the gun at her and then fired. Clarke ran across the room trying to dodge that bullet. There was another shot. She threw something at him and ran for the double glass doors. The door closest to her opened at the same time the gun went off again. Clarke’s heart seized in her chest when she saw Lexa standing in the doorway with a bullet hole in her chest. Lexa was staring at her in shock, as she felt the bleeding wound. Lexa dropped to the floor. 

Clarke awoke screaming. The dream had felt so real. Like it had really happened but it hadn’t. The beginning of the dream had, but not he last part. It had felt so real, and yet it couldn’t be real. It couldn’t. Clarke laid back down. Lexa had been bleeding black. That’s how she knew the dream was just that. A dream. 

Lexa was looking at her in concern. Clarke rarely woke from a dream screaming, but when she did, the nightmare was a bad one.

“I’m okay,” Clarke told her. “Go back to sleep. The sun is barely up.” 

Lexa pulled Clarke close, and kissed her forehead. “I wish you would let Nyko give you the sleep aide.”

“The nightmares are your mind way of working through things it been through. Masking them could make it worse,” Clarke said. 

“And sleep deprivation could hurt you more,” Lexa said. 

“You help me sleep,” Clarke admitted. “You make the nightmares bearable.”

“Then I am here for you as long as you need,” Lexa said. “Try and sleep some more. I will be here if your dreams attack.”

Clarke relaxed into Lexa’s arms, but didn’t let herself fall asleep again. The events of the nightmare play over and over again in her mind. Lexa’s presence was comforting, but no matter how hard Clarke tried, she couldn’t shake the feelings created by the dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's it for what I have at the moment. Chapter seven will be up next week, hopefully. Let me know what y'all think, and thanks for reading.


	7. The Trip to Polis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the reviews, and I am sorry for the wait. Please let me know what you think.

The sun was just starting to dip low in the sky behind them, when Lexa halted their march. The large group had been walking towards Polis for most of the day. She turned to look at Clarke, who was riding atop a stunning black horse, and smiled at her. She turned to one of her guards, and whispered quietly in her ear. The guard nodded her head slightly, and began walking around the group quietly speaking to quite a few warriors.

Clarke watched as the woman, Mina she believed her name was, as she walked around the group in curiosity. She looked to Lexa to question the woman, and found her smiling quite devious at her. Lexa turned her horse around to face her people.

"There are several more miles for us to travel tonight. My warriors are going on ahead to set up camp, but for now we will rest here, and begin our travel when the sun has set for the evening," Lexa addressed the large group.

Clarke moved her horse closer to Lexa's. "Is it wise to wait until after nightfall to move to the camp?" She asked quietly.

Lexa smirked at Clarke. "We are safe here, Clarke. It is best to travel at night around these lands."

"Why?" Clarke asked curiously.

"You shall see," Lexa said, and then climbed off her horse. She pulled the reins of both hers and Clarke's horses, and tie them to a low hanging branch. She help Clarke off her own horse, and then walked them to the side of the dirt road. She went to the one cart that held Raven, and most of Lexa's furs and the food. She smile softly at Raven as she retrieved a fur, and then returned to Clarke's side.

Clarke sat down on the laid out fur, and tiredly sprawled out. She looked around at her people, pleased that they were mingling with the Trikru peacefully. There were only about a seventy of her people who had decided to join them in Polis for the festival, and the majority of them were the remaining hundred.

While quite a few adults had joined the Trikru in Ton DC for the feast, not nearly as many had wanted to leave the safety of the Ark to travel to a foreign city. Many were still weary of the grounders, and quite a few were down right terrified of them. Clarke and Lexa knew that the bridge between their people would need time to strengthen, and were happy with the amount that had chosen to join them.

Abby had remained at Camp Jaha. She had claimed that as role of Chancellor, it was her job to secure the walls, and prepare their Camp for the future. Abby had gotten Lexa's permission to travel to the mountain to retrieve any useful item from there. Lexa agreed, with the stipulation that one of her warriors accompany them. Lincoln had offered his services.

Lexa sat down next to Clarke, and offered her a strip of dried deer meat. Clarke shook her head no at the offered meat, and grimaced.

"Still nauseous?" Lexa aske quietly.

"Yeah," Clarke said softly.

"You should at least try and eat. You have not vomited in days," Lexa said, and offered her the meat again.

Clarke's stomach churned at the sight of the meat, but took it regardless. Lexa wouldn't stop offering her the meat until she at least ate a small portion of it. She took a small bite and chewed slowly, grimacing as the meat slid down her esophagus and landed heavily in her churning stomach. She took another bite, and then handed the meat back to Lexa.

Lexa took the meat, and took a bite. "I do not understand why your stomach is still upset when you are no longer ill."

"I was nauseous before I caught the flu," Clarke said quietly. "I have been since I landed here. I think it's just my body protesting the sudden change in my environment, and the stress of the war. We've been fighting for our live since we landed."

"And now you no longer have to," Lexa said. She smiled at Clarke softly. "Peace between Skaikru, and my people will happen now. I will make sure of it."

"You make it sound so easy," Clarke said grimly.

"My people will be reluctant at first, just as the Trikru have been, but they will fall in line. They will accept you, just as I have. Many of my people adore you already. They are eager to meet Wanheda."

"Wanheda?" Clarke asked.

Lexa looked down at Clarke. She nodded her head slightly. "It means Commander of Death."

"Great," Clarke said sardonically. "Just what I need. A walking reminder that I am a murderer."

"Wanheda is a powerful title in my culture. Revered almost as high as Heda. There is a legend among my people about Wanheda. A prophecy passed down through the generations. It is said that Wanheda will fall from the sky, and will command the death of Heda's enemies. Which you have. They believe you to be Wanheda."

Clarke sat up intrigued. "What else does the prophecy say?"

"No one knows. There is several books filled with prophecies, but most were written in English. The one about Wanheda was prophesized during the beginning times. Just after the bombs fell. It is likely in the books written in English."

"How long ago, did the language change to Trigedasleng?"

"It was before the Mountain Men first began to take us. I believe it was the fourth Commander who created the language. She believed that having our own language would protect us from our enemies. We could understand them, but they couldn't understand us."

"Smart," Clarke said.

"Stella was a very wise Heda," Lexa said. "She wasn't Heda for very long though. Only a couple of years. The next Heda was her son, and he carried on her legacy. He was Heda for much longer than his mother. Calvin was his name. His journal is the first Heda journal to be written in Trigedasleng. There is reference to the original Heda journals being translated, but they aren't in my library. Only the originals are."

"I'll teach you to read English. Then you can read them," Clarke said.

"I would like that," Lexa said with a shy smile.

Clarke smiled back, and then closed her eyes. She was tired and sore from riding all day, and quickly drifted off to sleep. She was awoken a little while later. The sun had already gone away, and the stars and moon were shining brightly in the night sky.

Lexa was kneeling beside her with a soft smile. "Come," She said softly, and offered Clarke her hand. "We must travel now."

Clarke allowed Lexa to help her up, and to guide her through the crowd to the front where their horses were waiting. Instead of mounting them, Lexa handed the reins to one of her guards and began walking down the dirt road. Clarke met Lexa's strides, while staring up at the clear sky. The air was crisp, and the night was bright.

They had been walking for nearly half an hour when she spotted the first of the lights. At first she wasn't sure what the lights were, but then she remembered Lexa telling her about the jack-o-lanterns. She looked at Lexa in surprise.

"I sent two warriors to the village a few days ago to make sure that they were still able to do it this year, as it is late in the season. Thankfully the village had yet to prepare the pumpkins. They had them stored until after the war ended."

Clarke's whole face lit up as they neared the pumpkins, as did the rest of the Skaikru as they realized what they were. Hundreds of jack-o-lanterns were lined up on both sides of the road, each with a different design. Some you could tell were carved by children. They were simple faces, crudely carved. Some were simple faces, but the carvings were much smoother. Quite a few were beautifully carved, with different designs. There were trees, horses, the starry night, some were carved to look like Clan symbols, and there were even a few adaptions of Heda carved into the pumpkins.

There was an overwhelming need to carve her own pumpkin building up in Clarke's chest. They were all so beautiful. To have such an old world tradition survive a nuclear apocalypse was amazing.

Lexa watched Clarke's face closely. She adored seeing the blonde's face light up at seeing the carved master pieces. She was looking forward to seeing Clarke's face light up when she saw the surprise waiting for her at their camp.

She looked back at the parade of people, happy to see their smiling faces. There was a child like wonder among all of the Skaikru, including the adults. It made Lexa realize that the Skaikru were essentially children when it came to the world. It was all knew to them.

The pumpkin valley lasted for a mile, which they walked slowly to allow them to take a good look at all of the pumpkin's designs. Their camp was setup just past the last of the jack-o-lanterns, in a large clearing. There were several large tents set up, along with Lexa's.

At the back of the camp, dozens of torches were set up illuminating the area. Lexa lead Clarke to the where the torches were, and smiled at the bright excited look that crossed Clarke's features. Sitting on the ground were hundreds of large pumpkins, waiting for somebody to carve them up.

"I thought you might like to carve one yourself, so I had the warriors buy whatever the village was willing to sell," Lexa said quietly.

"Lexa… this is... amazing," Clarke stuttered out. "I hope there are enough for everyone."

"There are. I made sure of it," Lexa said, and then pointed to where her throne was sitting. "I had Jaz pick out the biggest and the roundest for us."

"This is amazing Lexa," Clarke gushed again. She was itching to get her hands on a knife and try out this new art form.

"I am glad it pleases you Clarke," Lexa said. She turned around and told everybody to grab a pumpkin and a knife. All the younger Skaikru rushed forward, eager to enjoy this earthly tradition, while the older ones hung back wanting to look diplomatic. Most of the Trikru people had done the pumpkin carving at least once in their life, so it wasn't as enthralling as it was for the Skaikru. They still joined in, not wanting to insult their leader.

The next couple hours were spent drinking and talking as they carved up their pumpkins. There were several warrior walking around collecting the pumpkin guts to clean and roast the seeds, while two another went around and collected scrapes to be used to make pumpkin pies for the festival.

Lexa wanted to laugh as Clarke sat and just stared at her pumpkin for half an hour, before she finally picked up the knife Lexa had given her. Soon there was a pile of scrapes awaiting the warrior to collect them. Lexa's pumpkin had been finish long before Clarke finally put the knife down, and smiled at her triumphantly.

Lexa showed Clarke hers first. There were quite a few things Lexa excelled at greatly. Art was not one of them. She could draw maps like a pro, but anything besides that she sucked at. Her carving was no different. It wasn't horrible, but it also was nothing compared to Clarke's. She had simply craved out a series of triangles to make a jack-o-lantern face.

Clarke's on the other hand was a portrait of her father. Carved out so perfectly for somebody who had never done it before. Every Halloween her father would mention how much he wanted to carve a pumpkin with her. So since he couldn't be there with her, she would put him on the pumpkin.

"Who is that?" Lexa asked quietly.

"My father," Clarke said, with a longing smile. "He always wanted to do this with me, but we didn't grow pumpkins on the ark."

"So you carved him on the pumpkin to include him in your experience," Lexa stated. "Death is not the end of life. They live on even though we cannot see them. That knowledge does not make living without the ones you love any less hard. I find the hardest times without Costia to be during the happy moment I once envisioned us having."

"I wish he was here to see this world with me. He would have loved it," Clarke said.

"I'm sure that he would have enjoyed our world, as long as he was with you Clarke," Lexa said. A soft smile adorned her face. She glanced over the faces of Clarke's people, watching in awe at their child like wonder. "Your people are like children. They are seeing, tasting, and experiencing everything for the first time." She looked at Clarke again, with her lips pulled into a smirk. "It is amusing to watch."

Clarke snorted softly, and gave Lexa a wide smile. "I'm sure it is."

"I am glad that I get to experience this with you," Lexa said softly. A shy smile replaced the smirk.

"Well, I'm glad that you are here too," Clarke said. She returned Lexa's shy smile with one of her own.

They sat and watched their people mingling around, talking happily and loudly. When Lexa noticed that Clarke's eyes were having trouble remaining open she guided her to their tent. Clarke gladly went along with her, and collapsed onto their bed as soon as she got close enough to it.

Clarke didn't bother changing into another shirt and a pair of sweats. Instead she allowed Lexa to pull off her boots, and pants, and then crawled under the warm furs. She moved to the far side, and turned and watched as Lexa undressed, and put on her night gown. Lexa crawled into the bed and turned to face Clarke.

Clarke leaned forward and capture Lexa's lips in a tender kiss. She pulled back after a few moments, and looked at the blissful look on Lexa's face. That was the first kiss they had shared since the night of the feast. They hadn't spoken of what happened that night, nor the implication of what almost had happened. Both of them were too fearful of breaking the happy spell they had fallen into.

"Thank you. Tonight was amazing," Clarke said.

"You're welcome Clarke," Lexa said. She eyed Clarke's lips hungrily for a moment, before slowly leaning forward. This kiss was different than the rest of their kisses. This one had deep mutual feelings. It was new and yet familiar at the same time. It wasn't rushed like the kiss after the feast.

It started out slowly at first, as both girl formularized themselves with the other woman's mouth. It was slow, and filled with all the feelings both girls were too afraid to admit.

They feel asleep tangled in each other's arms, blissfully unaware of the party still raging outside their tent.

It was a six hour walk from Jack-o-lantern Lane, as the Skaikru had dubbed it. The group walked in near silence as most were still tired from their late night. Clarke sat upon her horse, shivering slightly. The cool air had plummeted overnight, leaving the ground covered in frost. Her thin clothing did little to protect her from the chilly morning.

Lexa had noticed this and frowned at Clarke's clothing. It was her thin worn out Skaikru wear, and gave little protection from the frigid cold. She looked over her shoulder at the parade of Skaikru behind her, and saw that most either had furs wrapped around their bodies, or were suffering the same fate as Clarke.

She wanted to wrap a fur around Clarke's shoulders, or to force Clarke to change into warmer clothing. To do either of those things would make Clarke look weak in the eyes of her people. Any form of weakness was something they were going to have to avoid if her people were going to accept her greatest weakness. Her love for Clarke. Once her people grew accustomed to that, then they would start to sway her people views on what weakness truly was.

Despite not being able to do anything to ease Clarke's chill on the way to Polis, did not mean she couldn't help once they arrived. There was still several hours yet to journey, so she sent two riders ahead of them to prepare hot baths for all of her guest. She also sent orders for her housekeepers, (or keepers as they were called,) to make sure that there was warmer clothing awaiting the Skaikru. By the time they would arrive the hot baths would be waiting, along with warmer clothing, and hot stew.

A smile crossed her lips at the thought of stew. Clarke had thrown a bowl of stew at Nyko the day before they left, after he had brought her a forth bowl for the day. Everybody had been bringing her bowls of stew, and she finally got fed up with them and Nyko had been the victim of her fury.

In Clarke's defense, she had been having a particularly bad day. While she was no longer ill, she was still considerable weaker then she had been before the Mountain, and she was also still very nauseous. Her nightmares had been particularly bad the night before, leaving her tired as well as weak and nauseous. The nature of the dreams still weighed heavily on her mind, and everybody had been treating her like a child. The bowl of soup had just been the final straw of the day, and she snapped.

Acting like a child and throwing the stew probably wasn't the best idea, but it worked. Everybody had left her alone for the rest of the day, and allowed Clarke to rest properly. Lexa had won in that sense as well, because she was able to lay with Clarke without being interrupted a dozen times.

Clarke had gone to Nyko before they departed to apologize for her behavior. He assured her that it was alright, and subtly hinted that she take it easy on the journey. Clarke had smiled at him fondly, and then thank the healer for taking such good care of her while she had been ill.

Clarke was happy when Lexa leaned over toward her, and whispered that they were nearing the city. She had never been happier to reach her destination then that moment. The trot through the countryside had been amazing to see, but she was cold, tired, and her legs were sore from riding atop the horse all day.

The first view of city she had was as they went over a hill. Lexa had been sure to take them the long way around to ensure that they saw the City from this view. It wasn't nearly as spectacular as the view from her thrown room, but it was still a pleasant site. This was the only place surrounding the city that you could get a good view of the tower in the sky line. They were still several miles from the city, so its inhabitants couldn't be seen.

"Wow," Clarke said amazed, as her people voiced similar exclamations.

"That is my home," Lexa said fondly. "I brought you the long way around, so you could see the tower from this view."

"It's amazing," Clarke said.

"It is very amazing from this view, but the tower is even more amazing up close. Nothing compares to the view from the top of the tower," Lexa gushed ever so slightly. "Come. I have a surprise waiting for you."

"Another one?" Clarke asked surprised.

"I have many surprises planned for you and your people," Lexa said. A teasing smile tugged at her lips.

Clarke looked at Lexa and couldn't help but smile at the woman. She was so much more carefree, and happier than she had been before they stormed Mount Weather. It was like she was an entirely different person sometimes. She hoped that this side of Lexa wouldn't disappear once she was back amongst her high ranking people.

There were guards waiting for them at the City's main gate. There Clarke and Lexa dismounted their horses, for the guards to take them. The City's busy streets didn't leave much room for riding a horse. Lexa gave the guards orders to show the Skaikru to their sleeping arrangements, and then pulled Clarke into the city surrounded by her guard.

Lexa took Clarke quickly through the city, avoiding the street she knew would be filled people. The start of the festival stared in a few house and the city was pack with more people than it was used to. She knew that if she ran into a group of her people they would never get into the tower to warm up. She led them through a small tunnel to a door that was guarded by two of her Sentries. This was her personal entrance. The one that she used for quickly moving around the city.

The door opened into the lobby of the tower. The room was large, circular, and very dark. The only light illuminating the room came from the candles sitting on counter by the front door, and a hanging grate from the ceiling. There was a fire stove off the right of them that seemed to be doing a good job of heating the place, despite the glassless windows only being covered by thin flowing fabric.

There was a woman sitting behind the counter at a desk. She quickly stood up and kneeled when she them standing there.

"Rise," Lexa said, and walked towards the woman. "The Skaikru will be arriving in a few minutes. Are all the preparations completed?"

The guard stood. "Sha Heda. My keepers are ready for them."

"Good, Mochof Strike," Lexa said, and then visibly relaxed. "How are Sara and the babe doing?"

A sad look crossed the woman's face. "The babe is doing well, but Sara lost her fight during the birth."

"I'm sorry to hear that Strike," Lexa said kindly.

"Mochof Heda," Strike said. "I am thankful that I didn't lose them both."

"As am I," Lexa said. "Bring the babe to see me in the tonight before the start of the feast."

"Sha Heda," Strike said, and then bowed her head slightly.

Lexa turned to Clarke, who had been watching their conversation with interest. "Clarke this is Strike. She is in charge of the towers housekeepers. If you have a problem with anything in the tower speak with her. She'll see to it that it is corrected. Strike, this is Clarke kom Skaikru."

Clarke extended her arm out to Strike, who accepted it. She gave the woman's forearm a good squeeze as she said, "I'm sorry for your lose."

"Mochof, Wanheda," Strike said. "If you need anything at all just come to my quarters. They are on the fourth floor. The very last door."

"Mochof," Clarke said.

"Come Clarke," Lexa said, and then pointed to the left of them. There was a grand stair case, and next to it a double set of doors. Lexa led Clarke through the doors and into a small rectangular room, filled with candles. On the wall next to the door was a panel filled with numbers. Lexa pulled the last one, and then a minute later the room started moving.

"An elevator," Clarke said when she realized what was happening. She looked around the room in awe. "How?"

Lexa smiled at the blonde's wonder. "There are workers below the elevator that spin a wheel the make the elevator move up and down. The numbers are attached to bells that signal which floor you wish to go. Each floor makes a different sound."

"Raven's going to have a field day with this," Clarke commented.

The elevator stopped, and they walked into a brightly lit hallway. Lexa led Clarke to the first door on the right. There were two guards standing there, both of whom bowed when they saw her approaching. She paused outside her door, and briefly spoke with the men in Trigedasleng. Both the guards moved to the end of the hallway.

Lexa opened the doors strolled in, and then turned around and smiled at Clarke. "These are my quarters."

Clarke looked around the large room in awe. The room was brightly lit with sun light streaming through the glassless windows. The room was warm considering the cool air flowing through the window. Clarke remember what Lexa had said about the view being amazing from the top of the tower, and had the overwhelming feeling to see it for herself.

Clarke was in awe. They were too high to make out what the people on the streets were doing below them, but she could see for miles. Clarke noticed for the first time that the leaves on the trees were changing different colors. She seen pictures of the changing of the leaves in books on the ark, but the pictures were nothing compared to the beautiful scene before her.

Lexa came up beside Clarke to admire the scene. "It is a beautiful scene. Soon the snow will come, and then I will be forced to board the windows up until the spring thaw. I push it off as long as possible."

"With this view I can understand why," Clarke said.

"After your bath I will show you my throne room. The view from the balcony is even more beautiful."

Clarke looked over at Lexa excited. "Bath?"

"Sha," Lexa smiled. "That is your surprise. I had the keepers prepare baths for all of Skaikru. Come, I will show you."

Lexa lead Clarke past her bed to the left into an open room. There was a toilet to the left of them, a fire stove to the right, and in the center of the room was a large oval bath tub that looked to be made of a smooth colorful stone.

"There is a bath in your room as well, but it is not nearly as nice as mine. Yours is the same as the ones in Ton DC. Mine was a gift from the Rock Line clan when they entered into the Coalition. It took half a dozen Rock Line warriors to carry it up the stairs. Thankfully our stairs are wide, and the warriors were used to toting around stones much larger than this."

"It's beautiful," Clarke said, and stepped closer to the tub. She brushed her fingers over the smooth surface. "What kind of stone is this?"

"I do not know the English word for it," Lexa said. "Beja, get in and enjoy. There is a compartment near the drain that holds hot coals to keep the water warm. You can soak for as long as you like. A keeper that speaks English will be in soon to aid you in anything you need, and then she is going to fit you for warmer clothing. She will bring you to me once you are ready, and then I will give you a tour."

"Where are you going?" Clarke asked.

"To your people. I must make sure they are getting situated, and then I have a meeting with ambassadors."

Clarke grabbed Lexa's hand, and squeezed. "Thank you. You're going above and beyond the call of duty to make my people feel welcome."

Lexa smiled at Clarke. "I want your people to feel welcome. There is no need to thank me for that. Enjoy your bath, and I will see you in a little while." Lexa gave Clarke one last smile and then left the bathroom.

Clarke stared down at the bath tub, eager to crawl into the warm inviting water.

Raven was laying on her bed staring around the room Ryder and put her in. The room was slightly bigger than her room in Arkadia, but spacious. There was a window to the left of the bed that was boarded up, except for a few spots to let some day light in. She had a large, soft bed in the center of the room, a desk to the right door, a wood stove next to the window and there were candles lit everywhere.

She was patiently waiting for a kappa, (whatever that was), to come. She had been the first person escorted to a room, so she wasn't sure where everybody else was, and the though frightened her a little. She didn't think the commander would lead them all there just to kill them, but grounder were a big mystery to them. So you never know.

She had been sitting on the bed, covered in the warm furs Lexa had given her when the door opened, and Lexa stepped in with a wheelchair. It was a bit rusty, and worn, but it seemed to be in good shape otherwise.

"Wow. That looks exactly like the pictures from before the bombs," Raven mused.

"We have several wheelchairs that were made before the bombs," Lexa said. "A couple were here in the tower when the bombs hit, and a few were collected from other building that survived."

Lexa wheel the chair to the side of Ravens bed, and helped her slide into the chair. "There is a bath prepared for you in the bathroom down the hall, and then you will be fitted for some warmer clothing."

"Grounder clothing?" Raven asked.

"Sha," Lexa said, as she pushed Raven out of her room, and to the left. "Skaikru clothing is thin and will do little to protect you from the cold. Our clothing are warm, and very comfortable."

"I'll take your word for it," Raven said.

Lexa wheeled Raven through a set of double doors into a large room, filled with ten metal bathtubs with curtains surrounding each one. There were five tubs on each side of the room, and toilets could be seen directly in front of them. The room was warm, and full of chatter from the men and woman (all part of the remaining hundred) already soaking. Most of the curtains were opened, allowing the tubs occupants to see each other as they talk.

"I guess not everybody is a modest as Clarke is," Lexa mused quietly.

Raven snorted. "I think it has more to do with the person she is with than actually being modest. We spent weeks confined to a small camp, constantly treating one injury after another, bathing in the falls near our camp together, not to mention all the sex that was going on. After a while we stopped noticing that the other people around you are actually naked."

"You sound like a warrior," Lexa commented.

"No. We were just a bunch of kids trying to survive coming to earth with no supplies, no skills, and grounders hunting us for unknowingly setting fire to a village."

Lexa parked Raven at the last bath, and helped the woman remove her boots and pants. "Wars have been started for less. Accident or not, my people believe that blood must have blood. Blood has answered blood with Skaikru's actions in the mountain. Many of your people will make fine warriors. You fight dirty, but are smart and unique. I could use warriors like that."

"We do what we have to survive," Raven said. Lexa help Raven slid into the bath, and the woman sighed in content as the hot water hit her cold skin. "This is amazing. Crash landing in the middle of a war was worth it for this."

"I am glad that you are enjoying it. Clarke has stated many times that there were no baths in the sky, only a controlled waterfall."

"That's one way to put it. We each had five minute to shower every three days, and the water was barely warmer than our body temp."

"Warm baths are great for warming people up after a long journey, as well as easing soreness from injuries," Lexa said.

"Sit Commander," Raven said and gestured to her vacant wheelchair. Lexa standing over her was making her a little nervous. "I assume you didn't come to me just to help me into a bathtub."

"You assume correctly," Lexa said, and then awkwardly sat down in the wheelchair. "Clarke has mentioned that you like to tinker with broken things. There are quite a lot of old world technology in the sub levels of the tower. If you would like, I can have the keepers show you there. You can tinker to your hearts content."

Raven gave Lexa an amused looked at the last phrase.

"Clarke's words, not mine," Lexa explained.

"That sounds cool, Commander," Raven said with a smile. Her mind was already filling with ideas of what could be down there. "Is that all?"

"No. Octavia will be arriving with Bellamy in a few hours. At tonight's feast the three of you, along with the one you call Monty, will be seated next to Clarke at my table, in honor of your actions on the Mountain. My people wish to know the Skaikru who aided Clarke in the Mountains destruction. However first you must meet the Ambassadors."

Raven watched Lexa's body movement closely. She leaned forward and quietly asked, "Why are you so nervous?"

"I am not nervous," Lexa said defensively. "Simply cautious. My people speak and act a certain way around me, and the Skaikru ignore that. Clarke especially. I just want this meeting to go smoothly, so we can avoid a war declaration."

"What do you think we're going to do? Kill one of your ambassadors?"

"It is not you whom I am worried about," Lexa admitted. "My ambassadors are similar to Indra. Clarke says she is uptight. My people are just very used to doing things a certain way, and are less likely to accept Skaikru then the villagers."

"So you want us to be on our very best behavior, and not insult the powerful grounder people," Raven summed up.

"Beja," Lexa said.

"I can do that, if you answer me one question," Raven bargained. Lexa nodded her head. "Tell me why you are trying so hard. You are bringing my people to join your festival, giving us rooms in your tower, having baths waiting for us, new clothing brought, helping me get into the tub when you could have had you people help me. You are trying too hard to achieve something, and I want to know what it is."

Lexa's eyes shifted over the room to see if anybody was paying attention to them. She quietly said, "I want peace, and to bring my people into a new world. Spending time with Clarke has shown me a way to get it, but my plan is very fragile. There are too many intervals that could cause the plan to crumble."

"We're the key?"

"Yes. Skaikru is the key," Lexa admitted.

"No. Clarke's the key. Clarke's the reason you are doing this now," Raven said, and watched Lexa's feature very closely to see her reaction. It was very subtle, but the fearful look was there for a moment. "I won't tell. As long as I get a part in this plan."

A subtle look of relief crossed Lexa's face. She thought, it over for a moment. It could be beneficial to have somebody else helping her with it. She knew Indra was loyal to her, but there was only so much the General could do from Ton DC. Having Raven helping her could shed more light on Skaikru customs and laws. Plus, Raven knew how to blow things up. That was an ally she wanted.

"Sha," Lexa said. "I will send a keeper to collect you tomorrow, and we can discuss what I have so far."

"Sounds good," Raven said.

"I must go. I have a meeting with my ambassadors. A keeper will take you to the sub levels if you would like. The feast begins at sundown. A keeper will let you know when it is time to meet the ambassadors."

"Enjoy that Commander," Raven smirked.

Lexa began to walk out of the bath room, and as she did the bath's occupants began thanking her. She exited the bathroom with a soft smile. The Skaikru were different from her people. They were softer, weaker, louder, brash, and outspoken. It was a nice change from the stoic life she'd been forced to live.

Phase Two (unintentionally added): Gain an ally: Completed.


	8. The Ambassadors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do Not own The 100
> 
> AN: Sorry for the wait. I struggled with this chapter. I'm not entirely sure I am happy with it, but it seems okay in my head. You guys be the judge of that. One person has figured out one of the main plot lines happening in the story. Can the rest of you?
> 
> Thank you to everybody who reviewed the last chapter. I love hearing what you guys think, and I take your words to heart. I draw inspiration from every review, and sometimes your reviews make me realize thing that I do want in the story and things that I don't want. So thank you.
> 
> Words in italics are being spoken in Trigedasleng

Chapter 8: The Ambassadors

Lexa strolled into her throne room with her head held high, in full Commander mode. After a week and a half of being able to relax and let the façade slip slightly, it was odd to be so stoic again. It made her want to complete her plan as quickly as possible.

The ambassadors were all kneeling in front of their chairs out of respect, as they always do as she entered a room. Commanding the attention of everybody in her presence was one thing that she enjoyed about being Heda. She rarely had to yell to get somebody to listen to her. Not when they were already avidly paying attention.

"Rise," she commanded, and watched as her Ambassadors rose and sat in their chair. Once they were seated she looked to Titus and asked in Trigedasleng, "How are preparations for the festival going?"

"Well Heda," he answered. "Everything is as you asked."

"Good," Lexa said, and then turned back to the Ambassadors. "How are preparations with your clan's leaders?"

Each ambassador announced when their leader was arriving. A few would be arriving before the start of the feast, while the rest were set to arrive during the week. Only one clan leader would not make it to the festival, but that was to be expected. Luna never came to Polis for reasons that only Lexa knew. In fact, only a handful of people outside of the Floukru knew who the clan's leader was. Once spring rolled into summer, Lexa would take a trip to see Luna, and get the woman's vows. She looked forward to seeing her old friend.

"Is there any business to discuss? Was all well in the capital while I was away?"

The ambassador for the Trikru, a strong black woman by the name of Panara, stood up from her chair and kneeled. "Heda, all was well in Polis during your time away. Titus and the nightbloods led well in your absence."

"I am pleased to hear that," Lexa said, and turned to give Titus a proud head nod.

"We want to congratulate you on a fine victory at the Mountain. Our people can rest easy knowing the Mountain has fallen."

"Rise Panara," Lexa said calmly. "I thank you for your praise, but the win is not mine to accept. I merely aided the Skaikru by giving the mountain men a false sense of victory. Clarke Kom Skaikru is the true hero of this war."

Rock, the Azgeda ambassador, stood with a sneer. "You give credit to those invaders."

"I give credit to an ally," Lexa said calmly, refusing to allow him to get a rise out of her today. Rock was an ever present thorn in her side. He disrespected her at every turn, and made sure that everybody knew that Azgeda didn't approve of Lexa's choices. She longed for the day when she could finally rid herself of him. "Skaikru has proven their worth. We have been unable to defeat the mountain men for generations because they hid themselves in the mountain. Skaikru found a way in. They understood their technology, and how to defeat it. They gave us what we needed to make the mountain men fearful of us. They gave us strength, where we had been weak."

"Skaikru have done nothing but cause trouble for my people," Rock snarled.

Lexa glared at Rock. "Your people? Your people are Azgeda, and I do not make decisions based on just one clan. I base all my decisions are what will be best for all the clans, as they are MY people. Besides, if anybody has any say in the decisions I make regarding Skaikru, it is Trikru. They are the ones who lost people in the village fire, and they were the clan who lost warriors that I sent to their ship." Lexa turned to Panara. "What say you?"

"It is true that Skaikru has taken much blood from Trikru, but Wanheda's actions at the mountain has given us much more. The blood of the ones they took was paid by the blood of the mountain men. My clan, as well as all of yours, can live their lives without the fear of our people being taken. Of being turned into monsters. I would gladly accept any offer of an alliance with them."

Lexa nodded her head, and then look at Rock. "I value the information you bring me, and I value the input you all share with matters of the clans. Remember that this is my Coalition, and I have final say."

Rock bowed in defeat, and took his seat.

"I will hear all of your concerns regarding the Skiakru, but today is not that day. We will have this discussion at the end of the festival. Tonight you will each personally meet with the Skaikru who help defeat the mountain, and over the next three weeks I encourage you all to talk with them."

Lexa gave the ambassadors a rare smile. "They like to talk, a lot, and at times they are like children. This world is all new to them. They have lived like caged animals, floating high in the sky. They had never breathed fresh air, swam in water, or even eaten meat. The sun, trees, water, fruits, sand, and the shear amount of space we have is all new for them. Talk with them. Share stories about your clans, and ask them any questions you wish. Just remember that they are my guests and to harm them, or disrespect them is to harm and disrespect me."

A round of "Sha Heda," sounded from each Ambassador.

"Are there any pressing matters that need to be taken care of today?" Lexa asked. The ambassador either shook their heads no, or remained silent. "Good. Then I officially declare the start of the peace time. The only things that are to be brought to my attention for the next three weeks are to be about the Harvest festival. Remember the sanctity of the Harvest and abide by the laws set forth. You are dismissed for now. We meet again just before sun down in the towers main lobby."

The ambassadors filed out of the room quietly. Lexa watched Rock closely as he exited the room. He turned just before exiting and gave Lexa a glare. The guards stationed outside the throne room, gently closed the double doors behind him.

Titus moved down the steps. "You are different, Heda," He said, and then turned to face Lexa.

"How so?"

"There are rumors that you have grown weak for Wanheda," Titus said. "That you allowed her to share your bed with her with in Ton DC."

"And now you believe me to be weak?" She question calmly. She didn't question how he came by the information. She knew that he had scouts that followed her discreetly, and they would have had plenty of time to report back to her mentor. His scouts were good. She never knew who they were, but Titus always knew exactly what Lexa was doing. She allowed it because she knew Titus worried about her, and to confront the man would do no good. She trusted Titus with her life, and until he proved unworthy of that trust, she allowed him free reign.

However, any topic of Clarke had to be broached very carefully when it came to Titus. His teachings left a weariness inside of her. She didn't think that he would ever do anything to Clarke, but he was very set in his teaching. Love is weakness. That was his motto. He had drilled it into her head since she was a child. She had allowed him to convince her that her love for Costia is what had gotten her killed. That she had grown weak, and because of that weakness, she refused to do anything about Nia. She refused to allow him to do that again. She knew in her heart that Clarke made her strong, and she was going to use that strength to not only keep Clarke alive, but to be about a lasting peace to her people.

"No," Titus adamantly stated, but she knew he was lying.

"My feeling for Clarke matter not to you. Only to me and her."

"So you admit that there are feeling of weakness."

"No. Nothing about Clarke is weak. My feelings for her only make me stronger. More determine to complete our goals."

"Love is weakness, Lexa," Titus said.

"I will not hear this Titus. Whatever feelings I have for Clarke are mine, and mine alone," she said dismissively.

She may allow Titus free reign, but Titus knew his place. He knew that Lexa wasn't going to accept his council on this matter. He wouldn't stop trying, but he knew when to draw back and fall in line.

In English she said, "I expect you to make sure no harm come to my guests while they are here, and I don't want to hear another word about Clarke making me weak."

"Sha Heda," Titus said, and then left the room.

Lexa slumped in her throne, and sighed heavily. Between Titus and Rock she was feeling particularly anxious about having the Skaikru, and more importantly Clarke, in Polis. Her plan's success was riding on the back of the next three weeks. If everything went smoothly, then welcoming Skaikru into the Coalition would be allowed with a lot less animosity.

The doors of her throne room opened, and Clarke strolled in. Lexa's breath hitched in her throat at the beautiful woman in front of her. Clarke was looking around the room in a childlike wonder, absorbing every detail into her mind. She was wearing black leather pants, a blue stained leather jacket with fur lining the inside. The fur lined the collar, and the bottom of the coat, and there were three large buckles running up the opening. She wore a worn pair of fur lined boots. Her hair was done exactly like Clarke always worn it, except that the strand of hair that usually held her hair back, were now braided.

Clarke's eyes finally landed on Lexa, and a big smile lit up her face. "This is amazing. I can't believe this tower survived the bombs and nearly a hundred years."

"I am glad that you like it," Lexa said as she rose to meet the blonde. "You look beautiful."

Clarke blushed and glanced over her clothing. "Thank you. They are very warm and comfortable."

"I am glad that you like them," Lexa said. "I hope that the rest of your people like them as well."

"I'm sure they will," Clarke said.

Lexa offered Clarke the crook of her arm. "I do believe that I promised you a tour."

"Yes you did," Clarke said.

Lexa led Clarke to the curtained off balcony to start the tour off. The view from Lexa's room had been amazing, but it was nothing compared to the view from the balcony. She could see further and had a wider view then Lexa's room.

"This is my favorite spot in Polis," Lexa said.

"I can see why," Clarke said. "This is amazing."

"Could you see the ground from your home in the sky?" Lexa asked intrigued.

"Yes. The earth's surface was thousands of miles away, so we couldn't see any landmarks or individual trees. We could see the water, and a lot of green, brown, and yellow. We could see the clouds, and the top of storms. If the Ark's mainframe survived, I will show you a picture of the view."

"I would like that," Lexa said.

They stood on the balcony for a while admiring the beautiful sight, and then moved on through the tower. Lexa took Clarke down to the Skaikru floors, so she could see her people. Clarke marveled at how much her people looked like the grounders. It gave her hope that one day there would be less of a separation, and more blending between the groups.

Lexa took Clarke down to the sublevels where they found Raven frantically ordering two keepers to move things that way, and to bring her this, to toss that into the useless pile. Clarke and Lexa both thought that they had never seen the woman happier.

Lexa bid Raven a farewell, with the promise of more helpers, while Clarke bid Raven a farewell with the warning not to blow anything up.

Raven yelled that she made no promises.

As they entered the stairway, Lexa turned to Clarke and asked, "She won't blow anything up, right?"

Clarke shrugged her shoulders, and said, "It's what Raven does."

A look of horror crossed Lexa's features, and she turned back around to return to Raven's level. Clarke laughed, and grabbed her arm.

"I'm just playing," Clarke chuckled. "Raven's good, but I doubt there is any rocket fuel down there."

Lexa visibly relaxed, and began walking up the stairs again. Their next stop was the room that held the old world books. Clarke's eyes widened as she entered the room, and saw the mounds of books piled up there. As they walked deeper into the room she found dozens of two sided book shelves filled with books.

Clarke turned to Lexa in shock. "I thought you said that very few books survived the apocalypse?"

"Very few did," Lexa said matter-of-factly, and then gave Clarke a confused look.

"There must be thousands of books in here," Clarke said. She looked around the room in awe.

"Sha, but it is my understanding that there were millions of books before the bombs," Lexa said. "There are tales passed from the elders about hundreds of libraries that housed millions of books. This is just a mere fraction of that. Some were housed here before the bombs, but most have been collected from the ruins."

"There were a large amount of books. This is amazing," Clarke said. "I love to read, but I haven't had much time to for years."

"Beja, pick one," Lexa said. "I will show you to your room next."

Clarke walked around the large room, looking at the spines of each book she passed. There were so many titles in different genres. She didn't know what to pick, so she pick a title at random. "She Said Yes," Clarke read the title out loud. She had never heard of it.

She looked up at Lexa who was patiently waiting for her to pick, and gave her a wide smile. "Thank you for showing me this."

"Pro," Lexa said. "Come. I will show you your room next."

Clarke's room turned out to be a floor below Lexa's. She wondered why she wasn't being housed with the rest of her people, but choose not to voice that question. She figured that Lexa just wanted her closer since they had been sharing a bed with each other for over a week. Clarke wasn't sure how she was going to get through the night without having Lexa in bed next to her.

The dream she had the morning after the feast had returned every night since. Each time the nightmare overtook her dreams, there was a new piece of the dream was revealed. The words that were being said became coherent, and the nightmare had been expanded to show Lexa's death. The nightmare both terrified and confused her.

She knew that her mind had to be playing with her after the dream from the previous night. At the end of the dream, the man who had shot at her and killed Lexa, had cut into Lexa's neck and out crawled an AI. She had woken that morning confused, and feeling even more discombobulated then she usually did.

Lexa made the dreams feel less real. Having her next to her when she woke from the nightmare, reminded her that it was just that, a nightmare.

Lexa opened the door to her room, and held it open for Clarke to enter. The room was large, bright, and inviting. There were heavy curtains ties to the sides of the glassless windows. Clarke gravitated to the window, eager to see what the view from her room was like.

The view was as spectacular as it had been from Lexa's room. More so, because of the slowly setting sun. A glow had been cast over the changing tree tops, making the already brightly colored leaves burst with even more color.

"I must go to the throne room to meet with Strike, and then we will head down to meet with the ambassadors," Lexa said. "Would you like to join me in meeting the babe, or would you prefer to explore your room?"

Clarke looked around her room, and then back to Lexa. "I'll go with you," she said. She was eager to see how Lexa interacted with children. It was a side she had not gotten to see yet.

They walked up the stairs to get to Lexa's floor, and entered the throne room. The sun was still shining brightly despite the lowering sun. Strike was standing in the center of the room with a small baby wrapped in furs safely tucked in her arms.

"Heya," Lexa said as she walked towards her head keeper. She stood in front of Strike for a moment to eye the baby, and then took a seat in her throne. Strike walked towards her at Lexa's command and kneeled.

"Heda. I'd like to present my son, Tobin," Strike said.

"Rise, and bring the babe to me," Lexa said formally.

Strike rose and gently place her newborn son in the arms of her commander with pride. Unshed tears welled in her eyes. Her son looked like his mother Sara, whose death was still very new, and unreal.

Clarke watched the scene from just inside the room with interest. At first the two woman were very formal, much like a leader and a leader's subject would be. That changed quickly as Lexa's face lit up in a smile as she held the baby.

"Is he eating well?" Lexa asked.

"Sha," Strike said. "My sister sits with him to feed."

"How are you doing?"

"I am doing what my son needs. I'm being strong for him," Strike said.

The baby in Lexa's arms yawned widely, and the fidgeted. He blinked his eyes several times, before focusing on the person who held him. His little eyebrows furrowed, and then let out a loud cry. Lexa smiled at him, and then gently bounced him. He seemed to like it, because the crying stopped, and he looked up at Lexa again.

Clarke watched in awe as Lexa held Tobin so gently, so happily. It was amazing for her to see, and she wished that the rest of her people could see Lexa like this. A happy young woman, and not the ruthless Commander. Lexa was many things, and Clarke was eager to learn every side of her. The good and the bad.

Clarke held Tobin for a few minutes, as she questions Strike about the birth. She wanted to know if the death could have been prevented with the medical knowledge of her people. Grounder medicine was not nearly as advanced as it had once been, and had Clarke been there at the time of the birth she could have save Strike's wife. Tobin had been breech and couldn't be turned. He had to be cut out of Sara, who then died from the blood loss.

She didn't tell Strike that she could have saved her wife. That would cause the woman more pain, and Clarke didn't want that. Instead she made a mental note to talk to Lexa and her mother about it. She did offer to look over the baby at a later date to see if he was healthy. After Lexa explained that Clarke had been a healer's apprentice on the Ark, Strike greatly accepted.

Clarke and Lexa exited the elevator a little while later on the bottom level. There were a great deal of people standing stiffly on one side of the room, while Bellamy, Octavia, Raven, and Monty stood (or sat in Raven's case) awkwardly off to the left. Each group of people seemed to be eyeing the other with caution and fear.

Lexa silently snorted at the two groups, and walking into the lobby further, with her head held high. "Thank you for coming," Lexa said to her ambassadors, and then turned to address the Skaikru. "Thank you for coming. Each of you had a key role in the take down of the mountain. Clarke could not have succeeded if it had not be for you. Tonight you will dine next to me and Clarke, as the heroes of the mountain."

She turned to her ambassadors. "It will be your duty to introduce yourselves to the Skaikru by the end of the night. Anyone who has not spoken to them, will be locked in the stockades for disobeying my order. From now until the Skaikru leave, English is to be used in their presence."

Each ambassador nodded their head, and said "Sha Heda."

Lexa introduced each of the Skaikru to the Ambassadors, and then informed them that the ambassadors would introduce themselves. She encouraged them to talk and ask questions. Get to know her people.

Indra led Clarke's people out of the tower and into town. Leaving Clarke and Lexa with the ambassadors. She turned to Clarke and gestured for her to stand next to her. "Ambassadors, this is Clarke kom Skaikru, and tonight she will officially be introduced to our people as Wanheda, Mountain Slayer."

Panara, the Trikru ambassador, stepped forward, and kneeled in front of Clarke. She briefly looked surprised at the kneeling woman, but quickly schooled her features. Strength, or the appearance of strength was something Lexa had been teaching her for the last week. Clarke is strong on her own, but she wavered at times. Her people would see that wavering easily, and view it as a weakness.

"Rise," Clarke said in a strong voice. Panara rose, and Clarke offered her arm. Panara accepted the offering, and gave Clarke's forearm a good squeeze.

"I am Panara. Ambassador to Trigedakru," Panara said proudly. "It is an honor to meet you, Wanheda."

"The honor is mine, Panara," Clarke said. She gave the woman's forearm a good squeeze, before breaking apart.

Each ambassador step forward and repeated the same process as Panara had, until finally there was only one ambassador left. Rock, the petulant Azgeda ambassador, stood to the back of the group watching his fellow ambassadors greet Clarke with a sneer on his face. When the Rock line ambassador stepped away from Clarke, Rock made no motion at moving forward. He knew very well that defying Heda's orders on any other day would have led to his death, but to kill him would go against the sanctity of the Harvest. He was safe for at least three weeks.

Lexa knew what Rock was doing. He did it every year. He used the sanctity of the Harvest festival to try and gain a rise out of her. On Queen Nia's orders no doubt. He always tried to get a rise out of her, trying to get her to retaliate and kill him. She never took the bait though. Killing Rock would give Nia a reason to declare war, and she couldn't have that. During peace time, he was downright defiant. He used to sanctity of the Harvest to his advantage, and goaded her at every turn. She ignored his petulance for now. As usual, she would find a way to punish him after the Harvest ended.

She guided Clarke through the bare streets, out of the city. They walked for ten minutes through the thick trees, guided by orange glow of the nearly set sun. They walked until they came to a large, well-lit clearing, filled with rows upon rows of tables, fires that lined the outside of the clearing every few yards, and thousands of people walking and sitting, all waiting for their Heda to arrive.

At the front of the long rows of tables there was a platform with three tables set up in a half octagon. At each table there were twelve seats. There were already a group of people sitting at the tables. He ambassadors left Clarke and Lexa's side and took their seats at the left side table in random order. Clarke could see her people sitting at the top table to the right of Lexa's throne, Octavia and Indra sat to the left of the throne along with a two people Clarke didn't recognize. There were two seats empty on either side of Lexa's throne. She assumed that the open seat next to Raven was for her, but didn't know who the seat next to Indra was for. She couldn't see who sat at the right side table, but she figured that they were kids, since most were too short to their heads over the back of the tall wire mesh chairs.

Lexa gently pulled Clarke towards the back of the platform to where a small group of people were waiting for them. As they approached the chatter between the group ceased, and they all turned to greet their Heda. Three men, and two woman stood tall as they approached. Clarke looked over each of them carefully, sizing them up. She noted that they were all carrying weapon, concealed, but easily noticeable. She was sure that they each had concealed weapons that were not as easily noticeable. Her eyes went down the line of people.

Her heart stopped for just a moment when her eyes fell on the last man, and then began to beat rapidly in her chest. So hard she feared it might explode. Standing in front of Lexa was the man from her dreams. The man she had been force to dream of every night for a week as her killed Lexa, over and over again. The world around her faded away, as the dream overtook her, the same as it had been, and yet different. It was less of a dream, and more as if she was living it.

The words that Titus was saying could be heard clearly now. She pleaded with him, telling him that she was leaving. She tried to reason with the sensible side of him, claiming that Lexa would know it was him. He just scoffed at her, and waved the gun at her. He shouted that maybe now Lexa would be angry enough to declare war.

She could feel the first bullet wiz past her, just barely missing her. She could feel her heart beating in her chest, and feel the strain of her muscles as she dodge the second bullet and ran for the door. She felt her heart freeze in her chest when Lexa stepped through her door, just as the third bullet was fired. She felt as though her heart was stuck in her throat as she dropped to Lexa's fallen form. She could feel the tears welling in her eyes as she said the travelers blessing. She watched in shock as Titus flipped Lexa's lifeless body, and cut into her neck, helplessly.

As suddenly as the dream overtook her, it relinquished her. She let out a loud breath, and stared up at Lexa, blinking her eyes rapidly. Lexa was staring at her with a worried look on her face. "Clarke, are you alright. What happened?"

Clarke's mind was fuzzy for a moment, unsure of why Lexa was asking if she was alright. She looked at the people gathered around her and saw equal looks of concern and intrigue. The concern on their faces confused her, but the intrigue she was growing used to. All of the Lexa's people looked at her with varying degrees of emotions, but intrigue was the one look that was always present.

She realized that she must have checked out when the dream overtook her mind. "I'm okay. Sorry. I just remembered something that might be important, and zoned out."

"Is it something I should know?" Lexa asked, slipping into full Commander mode again. She knew that it was more then what Clarke was letting on. That was clear because she had tried to gather Clarke's attention several times before she snapped out of whatever trance she was in. She was worried about Clarke, but recognized the look Clarke had given her. It was one that she had perfected over the years, and as just one of the many things Lexa had taught Clarke over the last week. Clarke was being strong despite whatever just happened.

"Perhaps. We can discuss it tomorrow if you'd like," Clarke said diplomatically.

"Sha," Lexa replied. She turned to the bald man and said, "Clarke, this is Titus, keeper of the flame, and my advisor."

Titus bowed slightly. "Hello Wanheda."

"Hello Titus," Clarke said strongly, despite the fear that had crept into her chest. The dream felt so real. Too real for her liking, and Titus was looking at her with a skeptical look. It was disconcerting.

Lexa introduced the other for people standing with them, two of whom (the taller redheaded man, and the shorter brunette woman) were there to guard Lexa and Clarke from any assassination attempts. Lexa was concerned by their presence because Lexa had already warned her that there was a small possibility that the peace of the Harvest might be broken due to the Skaikru's presence. Not all were as open and willing to accept Clarke's people as others. Lexa had assured her that she wasn't worried that it would happen, just overly cautious.

The remaining man, Po, and woman, Trish, were introduced as the keepers of the natblida, which were basically den parents to the children who were sitting at the side table. Clarke didn't know who the children were or why they were called natblida, but she figured Lexa would explain it to her.

The guards and keepers were very nice to her. As Lexa spoke privately to Titus, they asked her basic questions about her people and their home in the sky. They didn't ask their questions with distrust, but rather interest. There was a kindness that radiated from them that calmed Clarke's mind. She thought back to their march up the mountain. When Lexa had offered to take her to Polis. She had said that it would change the way she saw her people. Clarke wondered if this is what she had meant.

Lexa and Titus rejoined them after talking alone for a few minutes. The keepers went to join the children at their table, while the guards went to their posts at the corner of the stage. Titus, went to stand in front of the table, and then raised his arms to silence the crowd.

Clarke and Lexa waited behind the stage until Titus announced them. Clarke went first up first, and was surprised by the response she received from the crowd. The crowd of people chanted Wanheda as she took her seat, only quieting when Titus raised his arms again.

Lexa's name was chanted even louder as she walk along the back of the stage to take her seat in her throne. Dinner was loud and boisterous, filled with a mix of English and Trigedasleng. Lexa spoke to Titus through part of the meal about preparations for the festival, and then watched as her people enjoyed themselves.

Clarke spent most of the meal talking to Raven about some of the thing she had already discovered in the sublevels of the tower, and the rest of the time watching Lexa's people. The ambassador spoke quietly amongst themselves. It was the children that interested her the most. They were quiet, sat in their chairs stiffly, and watched the people around them carefully. They didn't look any older than early teens. Clarke was eager to ask Lexa about them. She wanted to know who they were and why they were so serious.

Once her people began drifting from the table towards the fires, Lexa stood again. She walked to the edge of the stage to address her people. The crowd quieted at once, and stood in attention. In Trigedasleng, she began her speech.

"Welcome to the start of this year's Harvest Festival. Tonight's feast is special this year, for this year we celebrate our victory at the Mountain. This year I welcome the heroes of our victory, Skaikru."

The redheaded guard Clarke had met before the start of the feast, had come to stand behind the Skaikru to translate. Each of the Skaikru were surprised by the cheer that came after Lexa's opening. Clarke looked down at her people in the crowd and noticed that they were also looking around at the cheering people in surprise. There were a few grounder warriors who had fought at the mountain that were translating for them.

She smiled softly as the words Lexa had said to her on the mountain filtered through her mind for the second time that night. Looking around at the crowd she realized that she was right. Polis was going to change the way she saw Lexa's people.

Clarke zoned in just as Lexa had finished introducing her people, and their role in the war.

"For too long have our people been killed to keep the mountain men alive. Been turned into reapers and forced to gather their own people and deliver them to the mountain. For too long our people have lived in fear of the mountain, and for too long we have been powerless to defeat them. This year we celebrate the harvest without the threat of the mountain, and when you return home you can do so knowing that your families are safe."

There was another loud cheer from the crowd.

"I welcome you all to Polis, as I do every year, with this warning. We are many clans combined as one. Respect each other and respect the laws of the Harvest. Let the Harvest Festival begin."

The crowd cheered loudly as Lexa walked back to her seat. A woman wearing a strapless blue dress stepped up onto the stage. The crowd quieted, though not as quickly as they had for Lexa and Titus. Clarke was amazed when the woman began singing beautifully. Her voice carried through the valley, echoing lightly against the surrounding mountains.

"That's Kara," Lexa said leaning closer to Clarke so her people could hear her as well. "She travels through the clans singing for villagers and clan leaders."

Raven turned to look at Lexa, and asked, "What is she singing?"

"She singing the song of the Coalition. Our anthem is the English word I believe," Lexa said. "I can ask Kara if she can sing it for you in English if you'd like."

"I'd like that," Monty said. He was enthralled by the woman's voice.

Lexa nodded her head. "Tomorrow I will ask if she is willing."

"Thank you Commander," Monty said politely.

"There is no need for thanks Monty kom Skaikru. I and my people owe you much. It is my pleasure."

Monty gave Lexa a strained smile, and then looked out over the crowd searching for his best friend. Miller had promised that her would look after Jasper during the feast, but was still worried about him. Jasper was not coping with Maya's death well. He was verbal with his blame on Monty and Clarke, and had spent most of the week drunk. The only reason Jasper was even on this trip was because of Clarke. She hadn't given Jasper a choice in the matter. Monty didn't understand why Clarke was so adamant about it, but was grateful to have him close.

As Kara left the stage, the beautiful sound of drums, flutes, guitars, violins filled the valley. Lexa's people began to move around the well light area into groups. Some were dancing, a few were having friendly sparring matches, and many were playing different games. There was one being play were round disks with hole in the center were tossed a few yards away to little poles in the ground. She vaguely recalled a similar game being played long before the bombs fell, but couldn't remember what it was called.

Clarke watched as her people sat at their table awkwardly, unsure of what to do. She leaned over and whispered in Lexa's ear, who then yelled in Trigedasleng at the children sitting at the side table. At once each of the children stood, and calmly walked of the stage towards the Skaikru. Clarke watched in amusement as the children coaxed her people away from their seats and towards the games being played.

"Who are the kids?" Raven asked, with amusement heavy in her voice.

"They are the Nightbloods. One of them will be the next Commander after I die," Lexa said casually.

Four heads whipped to the side to stare at Lexa in shock.

"But they're just kids," Bellamy stated.

"I was not much older the Aden when Heda's spirit chose me to lead our people. Just shy of my fourteenth year," Lexa said calmly.

"Is Aden the oldest of the children?" Monty asked.

"Yes. He is the one with the dark blonde hair," Lexa said, and pointed to the sparring pits. He was currently sparring with a warrior twice his size, and seemed to be winning. "Do not let their youth fool you. They are strong warriors, wise beyond their years, and one day one of them will be a great leader."

Before long Lexa's people began walking up to the table to bestow gifts upon the Lexa, Clarke, and their people. Most of the gifts were little hand carved wooden trinkets, but there were a few gifts that were truly magnificent. Like the beautiful chiseled rocks, in shapes of stars, and moons. There was one that was a smooth bluish green rock, chiseled into the shape of the drop ship.

Then there was the glass works that were being presented to them. Glass orbs filled with beautiful colors, pitchers, mugs, and even small sculptures. Lexa had been presented with a mini glass replica of her throne, which made Lexa smile.

As each person presented a gift, they announced their name, clan, and who they had lot to the mountain. By the end of the night, the only clan that didn't present anyone with a gift had been Azgeda. Clarke knew that there had been a bad history between Lexa and the Ice Queen, and wondered if that was the reason why. She had overheard Lexa specking with Indra the night after the feast in Ton DC, about the Azgeda. They had thought she was asleep, but she had woke from the voices. They were speaking in Trigedasleng, so she only understood a few words. Ice Nation and war were said several times. She had asked Lexa about it the following day, but she assured her that she had nothing to worry about. Clarke looked skeptical, and Lexa caught the look. She then assured her that if there ever was concern, she would inform Clarke. She didn't like not knowing, but she let the issue drop. Lexa did start teaching Clarke how to handle her people later that day though, which lead her to believe that Lexa hadn't been entirely truthful with her.

Once they were certain that all of Lexa's people were done presenting gifts. Everybody at Lexa's table stood and joined in the festivities. Only Clarke, Lexa, and Titus remained. Clarke spent most of the evening subtly glancing past Lexa at the bald man. The dream state she experienced just before the feast weighed heavily on her mind and on her chest. She couldn't shake the feelings it left inside of her.

She eyed him carefully each chance she got. There something about him that Clarke didn't like. Even without the dream's images playing on a loop in her mind, this man left feelings of unease inside of her. She didn't like how he was staring out at the crowd with a stern look on his face, as though the people were doing something that displeased him.

At first she thought it might have been because of her people, and the ambassadors that were each taking turns speaking with them. It wasn't until later on in the night that the reason revealed itself.

Lexa had been all too aware of the stern look Titus wore, and the reason behind it. She tried her best to ignore her mentors growing irritation, but his irritation only seemed to irritate her. Finally she calmly said, "They are fine Titus."

Without looking at Lexa, Titus replied, "It is late Heda. The nightbloods should be in bed, keeping to their schedules."

"It is good practice for when one of them is Heda. Will you force the new Commander to bed, just to keep to his or her schedule?"

"No," Titus said, seemingly unaffected by Lexa's logic.

"Then let them be," Lexa said, allowing a slight tone of annoyance in her voice. She turned to Clarke, who was watching them with interest. "Come Clarke. Let's go see if our people are enjoying themselves."

Clarke nodded her head, and then followed Lexa off the stage, and into the crowd. Lexa show Clarke how to play a few of their games, they joined in on conversations by the fires, and danced with anyone who made a request. Clarke was only one day into her stay in Polis, and she already knew that her life would never be the same again.


	9. The Start of Phase Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own The 100
> 
> AN: Thank you for tuning in, and for all of the reviews. Let me know what you think about this one.

Clarke didn't sleep that night. Not because she was not with Lexa, (though that was a definite downside,) rather because her mind wouldn't stop racing long enough for her to drift off to sleep. She was raking her brain trying to figure out where and when she had seen Titus before. She had to have seen him somewhere before, in order for him to be staring in her dreams. How else would she be seeing him so vividly?

Your dreams were a way for a person to work through troubling things. The nature of the dream wasn't hard to figure out. People die around her. People she loved, people she cared for, people who helped her, and people who just were trying to survive the same as her. Death followed her wherever she went. Wanheda was a fitting title for her, even though the grounders viewed the name as a god send, instead of a curse. It was easy to realize that she was worried about getting Lexa killed.

There was a deeper meaning behind the dream though. It felt less like a dream, and more like when she would experience a sense of Deja vu. Even more so with the realization, that she had never met Titus before. An unsettling feeling settled deep in her stomach.

She longed to rise from her bed and go join Lexa in hers. She felt that having Lexa next to her, cuddling with her, would finally make her mind shut up. She forced herself to stay. Lexa had extended the offer for Clarke to join her, but chose to sleep in her own room. She wanted to be strong for Lexa. Clarke realized that she had begun to rely on Lexa just a little too much. She needed to learn how to sleep and deal with her dreams alone, so that she didn't fall apart when she was away from Lexa.

She was feeling much better than she had been. She was still nauseous, but that was a recurring feeling for her. She was also tired a lot more because of the nightmares that disrupted her sleep. She had to learn how to not show the effect of this when among other people. She had to give the appearance of being strong, even though she was feeling weak. Like she had after she killed Finn.

He had plagued her dreams then too. Hell he had haunted her while she was awake, but she didn't let it show. She had to be strong for her people and she was. Now she had to find the same strength, despite the people of the mountain haunting her dreams. She had to find a way to come to terms with what she did, so that she could move on. Maybe then, she would stop having these horrible dreams about Lexa.

She was desperate to stop those images. Each time she dreamt of Lexa dying, she could feel her heart ache more and more. She only wanted love in her heart for the woman. Not dread and remorse. Just love.

Alas, the images did play in her troubled mind, along with an array of new questions. Titus, being the biggest question of them. Who was he? What did he do for Lexa? Why would he want to kill her? Why would he think that killing her would make Lexa start a war? Why would he want to start a war? Where would she be going, and why was she being forced to leave?

Then there was the overwhelming feeling of dread settling in her chest. When she had the dreams in Ton DC, she always had Lexa lying next to her to reassure her that it was just a dream. There was no real threat to it, just her grief stricken mind manipulating her demons, and playing on her fears. Now however there was a real sense of fear. The man in her dream had been a mystery figure. Just a crazy man her mind summoned from somewhere to play the villain. The man was real though. He was real, and he caused an unsettling feeling to reside in her chest. There was no rationalizing the dreams away this time.

There was one thing that Clarke could do to put the dream to rest. To prove to herself that it was just a dream, and not the crazy notion of it being a prophetic dream. That thing was Lexa. Before Titus cut into Lexa's neck, Clarke had seen a symbol tattooed there, laying over a long scar running down her neck. Clarke was positive that she had never had the chance to see Lexa's neck. The woman always kept her hair covering her neck. If she could see her neck then she could prove that it was all a trick of her mind. After all, how could she possibly know about it?

Clarke relaxed into her soft bed, after resolving to discreetly check Lexa's neck when they began their day. She didn't sleep though. Her mind drifted over the faces of the mountain people, trying to put as many names to the faces as she could remember. One day she may be able to forgive herself for taking their lives to save her people, but she vowed to never forget. To forget would be spitting on their sacrifice.

Lexa's people had help to ease the guilt slightly. Hearing who they lost, and in some cases who had been rescued, had cemented in her mind the good that came from her tragic decision. It didn't resolve her from the guilt that she rightfully deserved, but it did make the healing process easier.

The morning sun began to peek through her windows, signaling the start of the day. Clarke rose from her bed, and padded around the room to pick out an outfit for the day. Her room was littered with gifts from Lexa's people. Zita, one of the two keepers who were assigned to Clarke, had put all of Clarke's gifted clothing into the wardrobe. There she found a pair of jeans, and a nice black long sleeved shirt. There was also a brand new pair of brown leather boots sitting at the bottom. She dressed quickly, and exited her room.

The guards at Lexa's door looked at her in mild shock, but said nothing as Clarke knocked on the glass doors. She didn't know why she was shocked when Lexa opened the door, wide awake, and dressed in a long sleeved, floor length black robe.

"Good morning, Clarke," Lexa said, and move to allow Clarke in.

"I'm sorry I'm here so early," Clarke said, standing awkwardly to the side.

"That's okay Clarke," Lexa smiled, and then moved close to Clarke. She tucked a loose strand of blonde hair behind Clarke's ear, and then leaned down and placed a tender kiss onto Clarke's lips. "You are welcomed in my room at any time."

Clarke looked at Lexa shyly. "What are we doing?"

Lexa looked confused. "What do you mean?"

Clarke shuffled her feet. "You promised me time, and then I kissed you. I like kissing you. I like being around you. I like being with you. I just want to make sure that we are both on the same page."

Lexa smiled, and then gently grabbed Clarke's hand. "I have not felt this way about another person since Costia. You make my heart feel lighter."

Clarke smiled shyly. "I don't want to promise you something that I might not be able to give you," she softly replied.

Lexa smiled softly at Clarke and then captured her lips in a soft gentle kiss. "You don't have to promise me anything Clarke. Just having you with me is enough. I will accept whatever part of you that you are willing to give me, and nothing more."

Clarke nodded her head, and then leaned forward and captured Lexa's lips. The kiss was just supposed to be a simple kiss. Chaste but full of her intent to be more. It quickly escalated into something more primal, into something needier. Clarke gently pushed Lexa backwards towards her bed. Lexa's knee's hit the bed, causing her to break apart from Clarke and plop softly to the bed. She looked up at Clarke, and marveled at her beauty. She scooted backwards a little, giving Clarke room to crawl on the bed, straddling her hips.

Clarke leaned over, and kissed Lexa with all the feelings she was too afraid to express. Her hands traveled to the rope that held the robe closed, and untied it. In her desperation to feel more skin, she neglected to remember that Lexa preferred to sleep naked. Why this slipped her mind was beyond her, but she got a shock when she opened the robe.

With the light flooding into the room, Lexa smooth bare skin was illuminated. It caused Clarke to halt her movements and stare. Her eyes shifting over Lexa's breast, down over her ripped abs, and finally landing and her bare mound, just inches away from her own covered privates.

Clarke was broken out of her trance by a knocking on the door. Fear crept into Clarke's heart, and she sprang from the bed like she had just been caught doing something. Lexa smiled up at Clarke, with amusement dancing in her eyes. She stood up, and closed her robe. She gave Clarke a reassuring smile, and then yelled for the knocker to enter.

Titus, walked into the room with poise, but his steps faltered when he saw Clarke standing by the bed. "I'm sorry, Heda. I didn't realize you had company." His tone was slightly clipped, which lead Clarke to believe that he didn't approve of her being there.

"It is fine, Titus," Lexa said, dismissively.

"Heda, the natblida's are waiting for you in the dining hall along with a few Skaikru," Titus said.

"Thank you Titus," Lexa formally. "Please tell the cooks to prepare my favorites. I wish to share them with our guests."

"Very well, Heda," Titus said. He bowed, then exited the room.

"He doesn't seem to like me very much," Clarke commented.

"Rumors of our closeness have spread to Polis," Lexa said. "Titus is a firm believer that love is weakness, and does not approve of our growing relationship."

Clarke's mind flashed to the dream briefly. The words, "I'm leaving," rang out in her ears. She couldn't help the overwhelming feeling that the dream was real, and that she had to figure out what events lead to that moment. "Do we have anything to fear from him?" She asked tentatively.

"From Titus? No. He may at some point voice his opinion, but he is loyal to me," Lexa said. She moved to her wardrobe and pulled out clothing for the day. She was trying to bide herself some time to gather her thoughts. She had told Clarke just days before that there was no reason for her to be concerned about Azgeda, and while she hadn't outright lied to her, she also hadn't told Clarke the whole truth. Nia wasn't a treat at the moment, but there was a very real possibility that she could become a treat in the near future.

She turned back to Clarke, and placed her clothing on her bed. She looked at Clarke with a strong look. "As rumors of our closeness spread, those who wish for my removal may use our relationship as a valid reason to do so."

Anger flared inside Clarke at the admittance of words. Anger that somebody would dare try and hurt Lexa, but also at Lexa herself. "So you lied to me the other night."

"No," Lexa said confidently. "Azgeda is not a current threat."

"But…" Clarke pushed.

"But Queen Nia could use this as a way to insight the war she has been eager to wage," Lexa told her. "When she murdered Costia, she had no say in what happened in the Coalition. Azgeda was the last to be brought into the fold, and it was only to stop a devastating war. I did what was best for my people. Costia's death started the war with Azgeda. They had been pillaging villages for months, inciting acts of war, but I had been reluctant to declare. I wanted to bring them into the alliance. It was better to have Nia as an ally, then an enemy. Azgeda have a great deal of resources that can benefit the rest of my people. So I held off on declaring war until I was sure that there was no other option."

Lexa paused, and took a deep breath. "Costia was a healer, and went to a village to aid with the injured children. She was gone for a month when I retired for the night and found her head resting on my bed. In the commotion of the pillaged village, nobody noticed that she and her guards were missing. The village assumed that they had returned home to Polis. I declared war the next day, and within the year Nia conceded, and was entered into the alliance. She has been pushing for a reason for years, but I have not given her a legit one."

She looked up at Clarke with a stony look upon her face. "Many believe that it was Costia who halted the start of the war. They believe that she made me soft. That she made me weak. I fear that once word of our growing relationship spreads, there will be war."

"I don't want to be the reason more people die," Clarke said adamantly. "Why pursue this, if the risk is so high?"

"Because I know in my heart that Costia didn't make me weak. That my love for her didn't make me weak," Lexa said strongly.

"But you said…"

"I know what I said Clarke," she said with a clipped tone. "And at the time I believed it. I believed it because Titus choose that moment to finally convince me of his mantra. He choose to exploit me during a moment of weakness. I believed him then, but it was you who showed me that he was wrong. You love your people, and it is that love that makes you strong. It is that love that gave you the strength to defeat the Mountain, and it was my love for you that gave me the strength to defy the deal, and enter the mountain after you."

Clarke looked at Lexa sharply, her face full of shock. "You love me," she sputtered.

Lexa stood like a rock, as the realization of her own words washed over her. "I…I feel deeply for you, and I can feel them growing into something much more."

Clarke shuffled her feet for a moment as she debated what to do about the information she just received. Finally, she stepped forward and pulled Lexa into a passionate kiss. Lexa was stunned for a moment, but quickly relaxed. She pulled Clarke closer, and threaded her fingers in Clarke's soft hair.

They broke apart when the need for air became necessary, and stared into each other's eyes. "I know I asked for time, but I think that I'm ready. You make what I did easier to deal with. I don't need time to heal. I just need you."

Lexa smiled softly. "I wish for us to have a happy life together." A serious look crossed her face. "We must be careful. Nobody can know about this until my people have gotten to know your people better. Once they can see that Skaikru are not bad people, and they accept my decision to bring you into the Coalition, then we can introduce them to this."

Clarke looked surprised. "You want to bring us into the Coalition?"

"Yes," Lexa said. "It is the only way my people will accept our relationship, and I believe that your people will be a great asset to my people. You have technology that could be useful to us, as well as knowledge that my people lack. Like Raven's knowledge on bombs, and your peoples healing."

"I'm going to assume that my people joining will not be as easy as you make it sound," Clarke said.

Lexa stepped away from Clarke, dropping her robe as she moved. She began to dress, as she finished her conversation. "I have already began preparations. In the end, it is my decision on who is a part of the Coalition, but there may be resistance. My hope is to create enough connections between your people and mine so that the resistance is minimal."

"How are you going to do that?" Clarke asked, as she continued to look away from Lexa.

Lexa, who was now fully dressed stepped up behind Clarke, and gently placed her hand on her shoulder. "You don't need to worry about that for now. You have enough to worry about already. I will shoulder the responsivities for this, and when the time comes, I will explain everything."

"Are you sure?" Clarke asked. "Isn't there anything I can do?"

"The only thing I need you to do is be yourself, and enjoy the festival," Lexa said, and then placed a kiss on Clarke's neck.

"Octavia knows about us," Clarke sighed.

"I had gathered as much. Raven also knows about us," Lexa said, shocking Clarke.

Clarke turned around in Lexa's arms, and gave her a confused look. "How?"

"I may have let my feelings for you slip slightly as I was speaking to her yesterday, and she guessed. I think I may have found an ally in Raven."

Clarke smiled at Lexa's definition of her relationship with Raven. "You mean you may have found a friend in Raven."

"I do not have friends," Lexa said. "I have subjects."

Lexa's statement made Clarke sad, because she knew it to be true. The only people Clarke knew Lexa was close to were dead, and everybody else acted like Lexa was their leader, and not their friend. "An ally is a good thing to have, but a friend is better. Don't shut yourself off from that happening. Raven is a good friend. She's been through a lot, but she's strong."

"On that I agree," Lexa stated. "If you believe that I should do this, then I will accept Raven as a friend if she is willing. I am sad to say that I do not know how to be a good friend."

"I don't either. I guess you just have to figure it out as you go," Clarke offered.

"You look tired," Lexa observed. "Did you sleep okay?"

Clarke smile weakly. "I didn't sleep at all."

"Nightmares?"

"Yes and no. I've been having this one dream all week, and I spent the night trying to decipher it. I just couldn't shut my brain off."

"Perhaps we could take a nap after breakfast," Lexa offered.

"Is that a good idea? If we don't want anybody to find out about us, then we shouldn't share a bed while here."

"You are right. During the night it will look suspicious if you are in my room, but during the day, it will be fine. Nobody will think twice about me keeping Wanheda near."

"Then a nap sound heavenly," Clarke said.

"After I speak with Raven then," Lexa said. She gave Clarke a soft kiss. Together they made their way down to the dining hall.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Raven wheeled herself into the dining room, tiredly. It was too damn early for her liking. With the war over, and having no responsibilities, she took a liking to sleeping. That was something that she had not been allowed to do since crash landing on earth. She was up now though, and she wanted to do her second favorite downtime thing. Eat.

A week in Ton DC had given Raven a new appreciation on life on Earth, and Ryder had given her a new appreciation on the people of Earth. Ryder was quiet most of the time, but he avidly listened to her, and answered any question she had. She had a lot of questions. He had also been teaching her Trigedasleng.

Ryder did his best to treat Raven as a person, and not an invalid. He acted as though toting her around everywhere, was an honor. She appreciated that. It made her time in Ton DC relaxing, and made her enjoy the simple things about Earth. Like sleeping forever, and eating the marvelous food.

As nice as her time in Ton DC was, she was eager to get back to work. Lexa had given her an amazing task to complete, and it was calling her. Sleep be damned. One of the keepers saw her leaving her room, and directed her to the dining hall.

The nightbloods were already sitting at the long table, along with Octavia, Lincoln, Bellamy, and Indra. There were three other people sitting at the table as well, but Raven didn't know who they were. She wheeled next to Octavia, who moved the chair out of her way.

"Morning," she mumbled tiredly.

Octavia chuckled, and then poured her a mug of something steaming. She took a sniff and her eyes widened at the smell. "Is that coffee?"

"Yup," Octavia said. "They don't call it coffee though, and they don't make it like they do on the ark. It's sweeter and creamier."

Raven took a tentative sip, and moaned at the taste. "Is that chocolate?"

"Yes."

Raven looked at Indra in shock. "How? Coffee and chocolate weren't native to this part of the world."

"There is a clan south of the coalition that trades coffee beans, certain fruits, and cocoa beans for ice, furs, and any services that we can provide. Two summers ago a small group of gonas traveled down by boat to help with bandits who kept raiding their crops. They aren't very good at fighting. In return they gave us enough coffee and chocolate to spread throughout the Coalition."

"There are other people outside of the coalition?"

"Sha," Indra said. "There are many clans outside of our lands. We only deal with a few for trade though. None are close to our lands, and most just wish to be left alone. So we do."

Raven didn't know what to say about that. The possibility that there was any life left on Earth had never crossed the minds of her people, and here Indra was telling them that there were more people out there. She didn't even know why she was surprised by that.

She looked across the table at the children. They were watching her with curious eyes. She realized that this the first time she was getting a good look at the kids. They looked much younger than they had the night before.

"We are waiting for Heda," one of the younger boys said.

The girl next to him added, "She asked for the cooks to make something special for you."

Titus, who was standing in the shadows, bark out something in Trigedasleng that she couldn't understand. The words didn't have to make sense for her to understand what he just told the children. The two nightbloods who had spoken to her suddenly sat in their chairs straighter, and they shared a meek look. The rest of the children looked down at the table with a disciplined look on their faces.

Raven looked at the man who had moved out of the shadows with distaste. She didn't like the way he was looking at the kids. Like a disapproving father, but they hadn't done anything wrong. The kids were just being nice.

Thankfully, Lexa and Clarke walked into the room at that moment, saving her from having to analyze the man further. She eye the couple carefully, noting the space between them, and the stoic looks on both their faces. They were being subtle, and she admired their acting skills. She watched them carefully throughout breakfast, looking for any signs that they were giving themselves away. Beside a few lingering glances, they were both very convincing. If you didn't already know that there was something going on between them, you wouldn't have been able to tell.

Her only question was how far into their feeling were they? Did Clarke know that Lexa cared for her, or was it one sided? From the glances Clarke was giving Lexa, she assumed that Clarke not only knew about Lexa's feeling but reciprocated them. Since she had correctly guessed that Lexa cared for Clarke in a romantic way, she figured that she was correct here as well.

She would have to get her answers out of her when they met later on. Along with warning her that there was somebody else who was watching them closely. Titus had been watching the pair throughout the meal with a glare on his face.

Once the food had been consumed Lexa stood and asked for Raven to follow her. Lexa led them to the elevator, and rang the bells in the correct code. Lexa pushed Raven into her quarters, which surprised her.

"We won't be overheard here," Lexa said, and wheeled her next to the couch. She parked Raven's wheelchair, and then sat down on her couch. "How are you feeling today?"

"The same as every other day you've asked," Raven chuckled lightly. "A little better because of the soft bed I slept in last night."

"Good," Lexa said. "I would like for you to see my healers while you are here. They might have creams or herbs that can help."

"That'd be great," Raven said. She eyed Lexa carefully. The woman was sitting on the couch stiffly. Her hands were crossed in her lap, and there was a slight twitch to her legs. It was very subtle, but Raven could see that she was uncomfortable. "What's up Commander?"

Lexa shifted slightly. "Clarke and I made a decision this morning. She has agreed to be mine, and I hers."

"So she has the same feelings," Raven stated.

"Yes," Lexa said slowly.

"Why are you telling me this?" Raven asked confused.

"Because part of my plan involves my relationship with Clarke," Lexa said confidently. "Nobody can know about our relationship until after my plan is successful. Clarke's life could be in danger if my people were to find out."

Horror struck Raven at the realization. "So how do you plan on stopping that?"

"With the help of your people," Lexa said. "I want to offer Skaikru a place in my Coalition. My people will do as I wish, but there may be resistance to this. They are fearful of your weapons, and are angry because of war your people unintentionally started. Once my people get to know you a little better, then the resistance will be minimized."

"So I get my friends to make nice with the grounders, and then you can swoon over Clarke in public," Raven said. "Sounds easy. What's the next step?"

"That is the next phase," Lexa said. "We need to get our people talking and getting along. Like they were in Ton DC. The feast last night went well, but there was a noticeable gap between our people. The nightbloods showed them the games, and our dances, but none of my people joined with your people like during the feast in Ton DC. We need to figure out a way to create bridges."

That's going to be tricky," Raven said.

"I think the key is for the Skaikru to show my people your strengths, and for your people to see the softer side of mine. Not all of us are warriors. It will be good for you to see those who build our homes, cook our food, and make our weapons and clothing. There will be lot to see."

"So how are we supposed to show our strengths," Raven asked, unable to catch onto Lexa's train of thought.

"I was hoping you could tell me that," Lexa said innocently.

Raven snorted. Of course the great Commander would be stumped over how to exhibit the Skaikru's strengths. "What do you think my people's strengths are?"

Lexa allowed her façade to drop completely, and showed Raven a smile. Clarke's strengths filtered through her mind.

"Stop thinking about Clarke, and concentrate," Raven chastened lightly, amusement playing in her voice. She enjoyed seeing this side of Lexa. Sure, she was still a bit stoic and proper, but there was subtle ease to the woman now.

"I find it very hard to not think of Clarke, but you are correct. I must concentrate," Lexa said, looking somewhat sheepishly at Raven. "I have seen a great deal of amazing things from your people. I think your greatest strength is the knowledge your people possess that mine do not. Like turning reapers back to men, and your ability to blow things up."

"I do enjoy doing that," Raven joked. "Those things are not easily showcased though."

"No, but a demonstration on your healing is," Lexa said, her mind drifting to a potential solution to their problem. "Perhaps your people should sit with the healers during the competition next week. That way my people can see how you heal."

"That's a good idea," Raven said. Her eyes suddenly widened as a thought came to mind. "What if I can record the competition onto film?"

Lexa looked at Raven in confusion. She had no clue what half the words Raven spoke meant.

"It's like that picture Clarke found on the mountain man. The one of you and her, only instead of just one picture, we have a device that capture a moment as it is happen. Like this conversation. It's called a camcorder. If I was film us having this conversation and then reviewed the pictures, we would see us talking and moving just as we are now."

Lexa's eyes widened in shock. She had never heard of such a thing. It sounded amazing. "And you could do that? You could film the competition?"

"I sure can. I just need a few things from Mount Weather and Camp Jaha. If they have it, I might even be able to stream video of the competition on a bigger screen so that everybody can see the action take place."

"My people are weary of the mountain men's technology," Lexa said.

"All the more reason to show them the good that it can do. Technology isn't the evil. The real evil is when people who use it to hurt others. If we can show them that we can use the same technology that the mountain men did, but that we use it differently. Maybe they will like us more."

Lexa nodded her head, and then said, "Make a list of what you will need, and I will send a rider to Camp Jaha." She stood and walked to her book shelf. She opened a draw and pulled out a stick of charcoal, and a book of loose papers. She handed them to Raven.

Raven took the items and inspected them. Paper was a rare commodity on the ark, as was charcoal. They only used charcoal for sketching. As she began to write the list for Wick, she asked Lexa, "How do you keep track of who is winning the competition?"

"Each clan has a different flag," Lexa told her. "When an event is won, the clan's flag is put in the slot for that event."

Raven added a few things to the list, and then handed it too Lexa. "Have the messenger give it to Wick. He'll know what to look for."

Lexa took the paper and folded it three times. She poured wax onto the seal, and then gave the letter to one of her guards at the door, with instructions on what to do with it. She returned to Raven. "So we have your healing knowledge, and a show of your technology. That will not be enough. My people view physical strength higher then everything else. If you cannot fight, hunt, and craft then how are you to defend your family and clan?"

"You're not suggesting that we join the competition, are you?" Raven asked skeptically.

"Yes. That is what I am suggesting," Lexa said.

Raven looked at her like she was crazy, and then threw her head back and let out a loud, boisterous laugh. Lexa clearly was a crazy as her people thought.

Lexa looked a Raven as though she had lost her mind. "I do not understand what is so funny," She said.

Raven continued to laugh as she attempted to explain that she got a visual of Clarke trying to beat up a grounder, and Bellamy trying to shoot a bow. Lexa thought about Raven's words and allowed the visual to take effect, and smiled. It was a funny picture in her mind.

"Skaikru won't have to compete for real. Just join in on the games to show my people what you can do. For each event you kru will pick the most qualified, and have him or her compete."

Raven looked at Lexa for a moment and then laughed again. "Well at the very least we'll make your people laugh."

Lexa smiled again. She has seen the way the Skaikru fight, and was sure that her people would find then funny. She was also hoping that her people would see Skaikru for what they were, goufa's to this new world. There may even be people who wish to correct the Skaikru's form, and teach them the proper way. It was a win-win situation. She could show her people that Skaikru was not to be feared, while showing Skaikru that her people were more than just hardened warriors.

"What about Clarke? Where will she be during our time here?"

"Clarke will remain by my side, unless she wishes to venture out with your people," Lexa said.

"A word of advice," Raven said. "If you want to keep your relationship a secret, then you both need to be less obvious. You're subtle when you look at each other, but if anybody even suspects that there is something going on between you two, then you will give yourselves away. Your advisor already know something is going on between you."

"Yes. Titus is aware," Lexa said. "I will talk to Clarke about being more careful. For now I just want my people to see Clarke and I together. To get used to us being around each other, that way when Clarke and I do announce our relationship, it will be less of a shock."

"Is there a specific person who you are afraid will find out the truth about you and Clarke?"

"Sha, The Ice Queen," Lexa said, with sadness in her voice. "Many of my people believe that love is weakness. That it clouds a person's mind and can sway decisions. I was taught since I was a child that to be Commander, was to be alone. Nia has been pushing for my removal as Commander since I ascended, and this could give her an opening to make her move. Just as she tried with Costia."

"Then Nia will never get near Clarke without an army of people to protect her," Raven said determined.

"I already have a secret guard watching over her. Nia can't touch her while she is in Polis. It is when she returns to Camp Jaha that frightens me."

The door to Lexa's room opened, and Clarke strolled in with a pile of books in her arms. She froze when she saw Raven sitting with Lexa. "Are you two done talking about me?"

Raven smile cheekily. "Just finished. What's ya got there?"

"Earth survival books. I found dozens of them. There are ones on how to make bows and spears. Simple gardening tips. I found three on how to recognize edible plants, and two on plants that you should avoid. There is even one on how to build log cabins, instead of huts made of scrape."

"Log cabins?" Lexa asked.

"It's similar to the houses your people are building in Ton DC right now, only sturdier. I was thinking that Raven can build us a machine that can cut the trees into planks. Make the process go easier."

"Let me see the book," Raven said, and extended her hand out. Clarke dropped the books onto Lexa's coffee table, and handed Raven the book she was talking about. Raven flipped through the book, and found the page that showed the diagram of the machine."

"If I can find the right parts, and talk to a blacksmith, I can do it," Raven said.

"That's great," Clarke said with a smile. "We can scrounge for your parts during the winter, and in the spring we can build it."

"I'll start looking for the stuff now," Raven said, and then wheeled herself to the door. Lexa stood and opened the door for her.

"Thank you," Lexa said.

"Anytime Commander," Raven said, and then wheeled down the hall.

Lexa closed the door after giving her guards instructions to let nobody in, and then made her way back to Clarke.

"Did you figure anything out?" Clarke asked eager to know of any plans that were made.

Lexa shook her head, and wrapped her arms around Clarke. "I will explain everything later, after I follow through on a promised nap."

Clarke relaxed into Lexa's embrace, soaking up the comfort. "You better follow through," she teased lightly. Lexa lead them to her bed, and laid down on her back. Clarke climbed in, and cuddled into Lexa's side, with her head laying comfortably on Lexa's shoulders.

Wrapped up in the comforting arms of her girlfriend, was the safest place Clarke had felt in years. She drifted off to sleep within minutes of them lying there, and only woke again when Lexa gently shook her. It was the first time she slept without a nightmare since she landed on Earth.


	10. Initiating Phase Two

Chapter 10: Initiating Phase Two

Clarke's first week in Polis went remarkably fast. It was filled with hours spent in the library, naps with Lexa (which always lead to heated make-out sessions), at times in Raven's sublevels (as Lexa was now referring to the basement levels), and her afternoon and evening were spent with her people enjoying the festival, and preparing for the games.

She was finding Polis to be everything she imagined earth could be like. It was lively, loud, filled with people and their creations. She had found clothing, artwork, paints and colored charcoal, glass cups, plates, and pitchers. There were several blacksmiths selling everything from nails, hammers, and saws to axes (both for battle and for wood chopping), knives, and swords.

Then there was the food. She had never dreamed of food that tasted so amazing. She had eaten eggs prepared six different ways, bread with dozens of different jams spread on, and all the different kinds of meats. Chicken, beef, mutton, all prepared with spices that the Ark had only dreamed of growing. Then there were the fish and seafood. She had a particular liking to shrimp.

Her favorite part of being in Polis were the people. Since landing on Earth she had been at odds with the grounders. Nearly every grounder she met hated her and her people for crash landing on their territory. It was refreshing to be around so many people who were kind and friendly. Vendors were eager to have Clarke try every food they were preparing.

Two days before the start of the games, Wick arrived with two solar powered rovers and half a dozen more Skaikru. Kane being one of them. Raven nearly bounced out of her chair as Lexa rolled her through the frozen grass, and saw the Rovers waiting for her. She was bursting with excitement.

The Skaikru spent the next two days setting up cameras, mounting a dozen TV screens to polls, and stringing wires across the clearing. There were six high-grade camera's recovered from mount weather. There were four pointing to the main field where most of the games would take place. One was pointed at the stage where Lexa and the leaders of the clans would sit, and the last one was pointed at two writing boards.

The boards were the last thing Raven had added to the list. She figured that it would be good to introduce another way to keep track of the games. Both the boards were set up for the start of the games. Names of the people who wished to try out were on the board underneath the picture of their clan's symbol. Next to each name was a blank space where their wins will be tallied. At the end of the second day, the two men or women with the most tallies will move into the actual games to compete for their clan.

Along with each camera being hooked to two of the TVs, they were all hooked into two laptops where all the footage was being stored. This way if there was any suspected cheating, (which somebody was accused of doing at least once a day) they could easily see if the allegation was true or false. That and they would be able to see if anybody tried to tamper with the scoreboard.

Lexa was pleased with the work Raven was doing. She was worried about how her people were going to react to the technology being present, but she was also excited. Raven's idea was an excellent way to show her people that not all technology was bad.

She had spent a lot of time over the last week in the city, walking around to each booth and talking with her people. She enjoyed knowing what her people thought, and if there was anything that their village required. She often felt that some of the leaders were too stubborn and proud to ask for assistance when needed. Talking with the villagers gave her an insight to how much the ambassadors were leaving out at their meetings.

While she trusted her ambassadors, she was not nieve. She knew that what was best for each of their clans would always come before what was best for all the clans. The coalition may still be in its infancy, but the need for a commander was not. It had been the job as Commander for decades to oversee negation between the clans. Her job was more important now that the twelves clans ran as one. Lexa would sooner die then see the coalition fall apart, and see her people fall back into warring times.

It was a spectacular feat that she even managed to bring the twelve clans into peace. Before she became Heda, clans were inciting war with each other on a regular basis. Fighting over lands, food, water, goods, and partners. Villages were raided, homes were destroyed, and lives were taken. Lexa never wanted it to return to that.

So, while she knew that her ambassadors would always look out for their clan first, she refused to let that stop her from providing for her people. If she had the missing pieces to the puzzle she could act before things escalated. Like the fact that Sahara, the Rock Line clan's ambassador, had neglected to tell Lexa that they had been attacked several times over the last several months by Northerners.

That was a troubling fact. Azgeda had all lands to the north of them. There were many small villages in the Azgeda territory that didn't follow the rule of Nia or Lexa. They mostly kept to themselves, but if they were mobilizing attacks, then there could be trouble ahead of them. Especial with the treat that Nia could mobilize her own military. The thought that Nia was behind these attacks crossed her mind, but without substantial proof, she could do nothing about it.

Once the games were over, and the ambassadors reconvened again, she would address the issue. Until then, she continued to speak with her people. The more she learned about, the more she could help her people move into a better future. A future that Lexa was eager to see.

When Lexa wasn't talking to her people, or showing Clarke everything Polis had to offer, she was overseeing the Skaikru's training. Raven had been right about it being a funny sight. There wasn't a training session that passed without her trying very hard not to laugh at something one of them did.

So far they had chosen three people to represent them in the pre-games. Bellamy (who showed better hunting skills than anybody else, Clarke (who after a few private sessions with Lexa, was great at throwing things at targets), and an older man (who was adept at sparring.) They weren't going to win the games, but they were adept enough to show the clans that they were quick learners, and given time, had a lot to offer them.

The night before the start of the games, Clarke couldn't sleep. Which wasn't a new development, but the reason behind the sleepless night was. During her nap with Lexa earlier that day she had another nightmare. This one had been different than the one about Titus shooting Lexa, but it had been just as devastating.

In this dream, she was standing in a crowd of people in the town square, watching Lexa fight a large man with Azgeda scars on his face. The dream ended with Lexa lying on the ground, looking up at the man who was about to thrust a spear into her.

There was a part of her that knew these dreams were more than just dreams, but there was the rational side of her that refused to believe them to be true. Whether they were real visions or just her mind playing tricks on her, her need to be closer to Lexa mounted substantially.

That night she broke their agreement. She slipped from her room and snuck through the halls to Lexa's room. She knew what she was risking by entering Lexa's room after dark, but she didn't care. She was afraid to sleep. Afraid that her mind will play out yet another way for Lexa to get hurt or worse.

The room was still brightly lit with the dozens of candles. Lexa was sitting up in her bed with a book propped up in her lap. She looked up at Clarke in surprise to see her there but quickly shook it off. She tossed the book to the side and climbed off the bed.

"Clarke. Is everything alright? " Lexa asked as she made her way across the room.

"I…ah…" Clarke breathed heavily. "I know we agreed that it was best for me to sleep in my own room during the night, but I had to see you."

"I only suggested that to keep you safe," Lexa said.

"I know Lexa," Clarke said, and then looked into her eyes. "I just need to make sure you were okay."

"I am fine Clarke," Lexa assured her. "Come lay with me," she said as she gently pulled Clarke towards her bed. She moved the book she was reading to the table beside her bed and climbed in. She pulled Clarke close to her, momentarily forgetting the reasons why Clarke shouldn't be in her room. The main reason being Nia, who had arrived at the tower just an hour before.

"Is this about the dream you keep having?" Lexa guessed.

Clarke sighed. "Yes."

"Tell me about it," Lexa gently prompted.

Clarke sat up and turned to face Lexa. "Can we not talk about it? I will tell you about my dreams after the festival is over. I promise. Right now, I just want to lay with you."

Lexa smiled at Clarke and nodded her head. She would never turn down a chance to lay with Clarke.

Clarke laid back down and cuddled into Lexa's side. She closed her eyes and basked in the warmth the Lexa always seemed to radiate. She wondered offhandedly if that was because she really was radiating heat, or if it was a manifestation of her growing feeling?

Lexa placed a tender kiss on top of Clarke's head and then picked up her forgotten book. "How about I read to you?" she suggested.

"I would like that," Clarke said.

Lexa opened the book to the start and began translating the words written there into English. She read to Clarke until she was sure the blonde was asleep, and then placed the book back on the nightstand. She carefully slipped out from underneath the woman and moved around the room blowing out the remaining lit candles, leaving just the candle inside the lantern next to her bed lit.

She kneeled next to her bed and watched Clarke sleep. Lexa knew that having Clarke in her bed was a bad idea, but the peaceful look on Clarke's face made her reconsider. Maybe, she was over thinking the danger to Clarke's life. Perhaps there was no danger at all, and she was just letting Costia's death bring out her protective side.

Nia was just a few floors beneath her, and with her greatest enemy in her home, she had to be extra careful. There was no room to wonder if she was being paranoid or not. Not when Clarke's life could be lost if she wasn't being paranoid and her fears were true.

There was no need to send Clarke away, though. If her fears were founded, then the damage was already done. Lexa had known that it was only a matter of time before their relationship was discovered, and had taken several precautions for when that happened. After all, she could only explain the amount of time she sent with Clarke away forever. There were extra guards following Clarke everywhere she went, all from Trikru, loyal only to her and to Indra. Men and woman who would sooner kill themselves than betray their Clan leader or their Heda.

Clarke rolled over, breaking Lexa from her stupor. She sighed quietly, reminding herself that there was only so much she could control. She crawled back into the bed, blew out the remaining candle, and then rolled onto her side facing Clarke.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

The first two days of the games went off swimmingly, thanks impart to Raven's ideas for the live streaming the games, and her new score keeping boards. So far there had been three accusations of cheating, (one of which was proven to be true,) two fewer fights then there would have been last year and hundreds of people who were able to watch the games as though they were standing right next to the arenas.

Lexa was exceptionally pleased with how smoothly the first two days went. This was the first year that all the games had been completed before sundown. Most years, the games went well into the night, simply because of the fighting amongst the players.

She was also happy with how well her people were adjusting to having the Skaikru in their midst. There had been quite a few people who voiced their displeasure at allowing the Skaikru into the games, but once the games begin that displeasure died down. Mostly due to the Skaikru's appalling, yet funny performance.

Lexa was pleased with how well they stood up to their competition, but none of the Skaikru competitors was a match for their more experienced rivals. Clarke did exceptionally well for having only a week of practice, but even she fell short. Literally.

She did well with throwing the daggers, but when it came time to throw the ax, it didn't even make it to the target. There just wasn't enough strength in the throw. Lexa was positive that given more than a few days practice, Clarke would put all her competitors to shame. She looked forward to the next Harvest Festival to see how well she improved.

Towards the end of the second day, the remaining Skaikru competitors began putting on a show for their audience. Silly little things like playing dead while in the middle of the fight, then popping up at random and pretending to repeatedly trip as they attempted to catch a boar. They may not have the skills the grounders did, but at least they won over the crowd. In a way, that was a win for the Skaikru.

Outside of the games, the gaps between the Skaikru and the rest of the Coalition had closed considerably. Many of Lexa's people offered tips to the Skaikru of how to improve their performance, while others asked questions about their life in the sky. Curiosity overrode their fears about the strangers in their lands.

Overall, Lexa was pleased with how well she and Raven's plan was working. It was working out better than she expected. Her only hope was that the overall peace continued after the Festival. There was a part of her that was fearful that the peace found was just an act. After all, the very basis for the Festival was peace. It was a three-week break from all conflict. Even during times of war.

There was just one problem that was throwing a wrench into her enjoyable time, and that could be summed up with one simple word, (or in this case name.)

Nia.

She was the one thing that stood in the way of her gaining everything she ever dreamed of. Of a life, that until Clarke crash-landed in her orbit, she thought she would never have. A peaceful life, with somebody standing next to her to experience. It wasn't so much that Nia was doing anything to openly threaten that life, but the knowledge that she could do something in the future.

Since her arrival in Polis, Lexa could feel Nia watching her. Just like she did every time Nia was in her presence. This time, the feeling was amplified, because of the fear of losing Clarke. She could see in Nia's eyes that she knew about them. It was evident in the little smirk she wore each time Lexa caught Nia staring at her. She knew, and she was planning something.

Lexa had a smirk of her own when it came to Nia because she was ten steps ahead of the older woman. She had increased security throughout the city, both secretly and publicly. Nia couldn't go anywhere or talk to anyone without Lexa knowing it. Her plan with Raven was going swimmingly. After all the clan leaders renewed their loyalties to Lexa and the Coalition, she was going to offer Skaikru a formal alliance in front of the Council of Leaders. Once Skaikru accepted her offer, and terms were negotiated, then Nia wound not be able to touch them without inciting a war that she could not win.

The formal alliance would make offering Skaikru a place in her Coalition as the Thirteenth clan in a few months easier on her people to accept.

So Nia could plan whatever she wanted. She wasn't going to win this. She wasn't going to take what she had fought so valiantly for, and she most certainly wasn't going to take Clarke from her. Not like she had Costia. Lexa just wished she could shake the feeling of dread that had built up inside of her.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

For the rest of the week, when Clarke wasn't with Lexa, she spent most of her time with her friends watching the real competition, talking with the Ambassadors and Clan Leaders, or in her room drawing pictures of the nightmares that plagued her dreams.

She enjoyed speaking with the Clan Leaders. Sure they were just as guarded as the rest of their people, but they were still very interesting. Each clan had a different role to play in the Coalition, and the Clan leaders were eager to explain that role. It was very clear to Clarke that they were proud of their Clan and the work their Clan provided. Each Clan leader gave her a new piece of the world she'd fallen into.

There were only two Clan leader with whom she had not spoken with. The obvious being Queen Nia, who she could sense watching her but had yet made a move to come speak with her. Which Clarke was content with. The longer she waited to meet this woman, the longer she could pretend the woman was not a threat.

The second clan leader she had not meet was the leader of the Boat People. She had met several Floudonkru, but nobody could seem to point out their leader, nor give her the leader's name. It seemed incredibly odd to her. Why didn't they know their own leader's name?

Clarke's favorite part of the competition was spending it with Aden, Lexa's most promising natblida. Clarke had grown quite fond of the thirteen-year-old. He reminded her of Lexa in a lot of ways. He was quiet, calm, and incredibly wise for his age. On the flip side, he often became confused by something Clarke said to him, and would give her this look that Lexa's was always giving her. It was quite amusing to see, especially when they were together when they did it.

It was the night after the games ended when Nia made her first move. Clarke was sitting in her room with Aden. They were both sitting on the floor hunched over her coffee table drawing. The sun had long set, so there were lit candles all around them.

A knock came at the door. Before she gave her permission for the knocker to enter, the door swung open and Nia walked in. She strolled into the room confidently, as though it was hers to enter. It was clear to Clarke that she believed herself untouchable.

Aden jumped up just seconds after she entered the room, and moved in front of Clarke, and for a second Clarke thought that he did exactly wat Lexa would do. If the gap in their age wasn't so close together, she would have sworn that Aden was Lexa's son.

Clarke stood up and moved around to the front of the coffee table. She gently placed her hand on Aden's shoulder, and said, "It's alright Aden. Why don't you go join the rest of the natblida's? I believe they are reading with Lexa in her room."

Aden looked over his shoulder, and then after a moment nodded his head in understanding. He knew that the rest of the natblida's were with a few Raven in the sublevels, learning about a few of the old world devices she had discovered over the last week.

Aden slowly walked out of the room, purposely leaving the door open.

Clarke looked at Nia confidently. "Please sit," she said, and then gestured toward one of the two armchairs. "What brings you to my room, Queen Nia?"

Nia sat down in the chair. "I wanted to meet the woman who seems to have captured our Heda's heart. Quite a feat if I do say so myself. I never thought that Lexa would put another person's life at risk. Not after what happened to her precious Costia."

"You mean what you did to Costia," Clarke stated.

"What she believes I did to her beloved," Nia countered. "I was not the one who cut the life out of Costia."

"But it was done on your order?" Clarke questioned, though she knew the answer.

Nia smirked but didn't answer. She was too smart to openly admit that she was the one to order the death of Lexa's lover. Doing so would sign her death warrant. "I must admit that you are impressive, for a Sky girl. I can see why Lexa is enthralled with you. Costia was impressive as well, but she was weak. It was that weakness that led to her death. She believed the very best in people, and it was that quality that led to her death. I've watched you. You don't seem to share the same quality. You are very suspicious of everyone you talk to."

"You don't know anything about me."

"I know that you don't trust me," Nia smirked again. "I know that you sent young Aden to tell Lexa hat I am in your room. She should be arriving any moment. You are very predictable my dear. You are like a child. New to this world, and the ways of our people. Easy to cut down, should somebody wish to try."

"Is that what you wish to do? Cut me down, like you did Costia?"

Nia chortled. "Hardly. I merely wish to remind Lexa that weak people have a tendency to die around her. Especially when that person's death gives another the power he or she wishes to have."

"And what would somebody gain from my death?" Clarke asked.

Nia smirked and looked past Clarke to the open door. Lexa was standing in the doorway, with a glare of death on her face. "I suppose our time is up."

Clarke looked confused for a moment and then turned towards the door. She relaxed slightly.

Nia stood, and walked toward Clarke. She rubbed her hand over Clarke's cheek as she addressed Lexa, "I can see why you like this one Lexa. I'd be careful with her. You don't want her to end up like the last one."

She then strolled out of the room as though she hadn't just threatened the life of her Heda's beloved. Confident as always.

Clarke looked to Lexa. "I guess we can safely put Nia in the enemy category."

"Where are your guards?" Lexa asked calmly, but the anger that had built up inside of her was evident.

"I don't know? Aden and I have been in here drawing for a while. Abel and Roni were there when we came in."

Lexa turned and exited the room. Clarke could hear her growling orders at the guards. When Lexa returned there was a dark look on her face. Clarke wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around her and calm the raging storm. She reframed from stepping forward and doing just that.

Lexa looked at Clarke for just a moment, before stepping forward and grasping Clarke in her arm. Her lips crashed into Clarke's. She kissed her deeply, pouring all of her love and affection into the kiss. When she pulled back there was a single tear running down her cheek.

"I won't let her hurt you. I will die before she has a chance," Lexa vowed.

Clarke's breath hitched at the words. She leaned forward and recaptured Lexa's lips, kissing her just as hungrily as Lexa had a moment before. Without breaking the kiss she turned them around and pushed Lexa toward the bed.

Lexa fell to the bed and the kiss broke. She looked up at Clarke with tears welling in her eyes, but smile for all that she felt was her love for the woman above her. She pulled Clarke on top of her and kissed her feverishly while tugging at her shirt.

Clarke broke the kiss and sat up. She smiled down at the woman she was straddling, and then slowly tugged her shirt off. Lexa moved her hands from Clarke's waist up her sides, gently brushing her fingers along the soft flesh.

Suddenly, Clarke was on her back, with Lexa resting between her legs. She smiled again as she pulled Lexa in for another kiss. She allowed herself to relax into Lexa's embrace and forget about what had just happened. To forget everything that had happened in the last year.

Being with Lexa was so different than when she had been with Finn. She thought that she loved him, but what they shared had only felt a fraction of what she felt with Lexa. The feel of her fingers on her bare skin was electrifying. It set off every nerve in her body. It made her feel alive. Lexa made her feel alive.

They stayed up half the night making love to each other without a care in the world. Just basking in the feel of each other.


	11. Pride

Lexa woke as the first rays of sunlight broke through the boarded-up windows. Clarke was lying on her side facing her. A peaceful look adorned the blonde's face, making her look impossibly beautiful. She smiled softly as she brushed a strand of hair behind her ear.

She laid there for a few minutes watching her love sleep, before resigning herself to face reality. There was much to be done before she was due to meet with the Clan leaders. She slipped from the bed, and dressed as quickly as she could.

Before she left, she kneeled on the bed, and placed a loving kiss on top of Clarke's head. She hated leaving before Clarke woke, but there were pressing matters to attend to. A plan had formed in her mind while she slept, and she had very little time to prepare before the Council convened.

She stepped out of Clarke's room and ordered one of the guards to fetch Aden, Raven, and Titus, for her, and then headed to the throne room. She stopped at her room briefly to grab a package she was saving for Clarke.

Titus and Aden were already quietly waiting for her when she entered the throne room. They both stood tall and stoic, ready for whatever their Heda required.

"Aden," she addressed. "I have an important task for you."

Aden nodded his head, "Whatever you wish, Heda."

Lexa handed the package to Aden. "I wish for you to take this to Clarke. It's a present for her to wear to today's Council meeting. I want you to remain by her side today, but don't stray out of the tower."

"Sha Heda," Aden said, as he bowed slightly.

"Mochof," Lexa said with a soft smile. "Go to Clarke now, and be sure that she gives you permission to enter her room before doing so."

"Of course."

Lexa waited until Aden was gone before turning to look at Titus. His disapproval at sending Aden to protect Clarke was evident in his eyes, although he did a good job at keeping it hidden on his face.

"Were Abel and Roni found?" She demanded.

"Yes. They were in their quarters, packing up essentials," Titus replied.

"And did they tell you why they left their post?"

"They aren't talking."

"Very well. They will be an example of what happens when I am disobeyed."

"I'll have them taken to the trees," Titus stated, and then began walking out of the room.

"No," Lexa said, halting Titus's steps. She sat down on her throne. "This is an example for the Clan Leaders eyes only. I will not be disobeyed where Clarke is concerned, and I want them all to know what happens should somebody put her life at risk."

Titus faltered for a split second, before a cold look settle in his features. "You cannot reveal your relationship to the Clan Leaders. They will see it as a weakness, and revolt against you."

"The only Clan Leader who will fight this is Nia, and it is she who I am displaying my power for."

"Love is weakness Lexa, and Nia will exploit it, just like she did with Costia," Titus growled.

Lexa stood up aggressively and growled, "I will not hear this again Titus. Clarke does not make me weak. She makes me strong. Stronger and clearer than I have ever felt. I value your council Titus, but it is time that you remember that I am Heda."

Titus bowed. "Certainly Heda."

"Good. Please go down and prepare the prisoners for the meeting, and then go gather the natblida's please," Lexa ordered.

"Sha Heda," Titus said, and with a final bow he left.

Lexa sat on her throne and quietly waited for Raven to arrive. She suspected that the guards had to wake Raven, or possible go on a hunt for her. Lexa had found the woman sleeping in the sub-levels three times since she showed her them.

Sure enough, a few minutes later Raven rolled into the room wearing the same clothing she was in the night before, looking more than a little tired. Lexa smiled at her friends ruffled look. "Again, Raven?" she teased. "You know I can have the keepers put a bed down there for you."

"I'd still end up falling asleep where ever I am sitting," Raven smiled. "So why did you feel the need to wake me up this early?"

"Nia got past Clarke's guards last night and made a subtle threat on her life," Lexa explained.

"WHAT?! You said that she was safe. You said there was no way for the Queen bitch to get past your people."

"I underestimated Nia's pull in the city. I won't make that mistake again," Lexa promised.

"I'm guessing you have a plan?" Raven asked.

"Nia getting rid of the guards was a show of her power. She was making clear that she will always be able to get to Clarke, so I am going to show all the leaders what will happen if anything happens to Clarke."

"You're going to kill them?" Raven asked. "Like you would have me, with a thousand cuts?"

"I am," Lexa stated calmly. "Clarke presence will be required for today's meeting, since it is her life who was threatened. She is strong, but I fear that witnessing this will be too much for he."

Raven thought it over for a second. "What do you think will happen if Queen Bitch does kill Clarke?" She finally asked.

"War," Lexa answered gravely.

Raven nodded her head. She has expected that answer, which is why she asked that particular question. "Clarke will do anything to prevent another war. She will do whatever it takes to save our people. We've already lost so many."

"Sha. That is one of the many qualities that I love about Clarke."

"You worry too much," Raven observed.

"It is my job as Heda to foresee any possible conflict," defended Lexa. "Which reminds me. Are you nearly finished with the proposal?"

Raven eyes lit up. "I am. Kane, and I were up half the night working on it. Do you really think your people will agree to it?"

"I do. It will benefit many of our people. It was wise of Clarke to suggest it."

"Like I said, Clarke will do anything to keep our people safe," Raven replied. "Kane sent a messenger to Camp Jaha this morning to inform Abby about the proposal. He doesn't want to present the proposal to your leaders until she agrees to it."

"Understandable," Lexa stated. "We will wait until Abby returns word of her approval."

Lexa glanced over Raven's stiff form, as she did nearly every time she was in close proximity to the woman, to gage how much pain she was in. "How are you feeling today?"

"Stiff," Raven grunted as she shifted in her chair. "But over-all not bad. The cream you gave me works wonders."

"I'm glad," Lexa said, happy the she could help ease her friends pain. "I wish for you to join Clarke and I for dinner tonight."

"Sure. Dinner sounds good," Raven replied.

"I will send a guard for you when the time comes. I require the natblida's for today's council, but you may have them once we are completed, if you wish."

"I do. I found a few gaming systems. We're going to wire them up to the TV's and see if they work."

Lexa looked at Raven in confusion, but chose not to ask. Instead she filed it away for later. "Then I will send them to you once we are through."

"Awesome!"

Lexa laughed quietly as Raven rolled out of the room.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Clarke was standing beside Lexa's throne as the Clan leaders and their ambassadors filed into the room. She was nervous, but was doing her best to not show it to the leaders. She glanced up at the landing where the nightbloods were congregated. Her eyes connected with Aden, who gave her a comforting, but brief, smile.

Lexa waited for all her subjects to take their places before standing. She glanced around the room, before allowing her eyes to fall briefly on Nia. "I welcome you all."

Before she had a chance to continue, Nia interrupted her. "Why is the Skaikru scum here during our sacred meetings?"

As Nia expected, Lexa whipped around to face her. Lexa's next actions were not what she had expected. Lexa smiled at her.

"I am glad you asked, Queen Nia," Lexa said in English. She turned to gesture at Clarke, "I have asked Wanheda to join today's council to formally announce our union." Lexa reclaimed her seat, and gently took Clarke's hand in hers. Many of the leaders were looking to the pair in surprise, but the majority looked as though they had already guessed. "A threat for Wanheda's life was made last night." Several of her leaders looked to Nia in disgust.

"And what is it that you plan to do about this threat?" Nia asked cockily.

She gestured for the guards. "Bring in the prisoners."

A second later the doors opened and Clarke's favorite guards were brought through. Two holders were placed in the center of the room just in front of Lexa's throne. The men were strapped, both facing the leaders. Lexa stood again and moved to face the men. "Do you wish to explain?"

When both men remained silent, Lexa turned back to the leaders. "These men abandoned their post, allowing the person who threatened Wanheda to enter her private quarters. Their betrayal will be paid with their life." Lexa pulled her beloved dagger from it holster and then turned back to the men. She raised the knife to Abel's neck, and then looked to Clarke. "What say you Wanheda?"

This is what they had discussed before the meeting. Lexa would ask Clarke if she agreed and she would simple say yes. Lexa hadn't told her that since it had been her life threatened it was supposed to be her honor to begin the ceremony, but Clarke had been doing her research. Instead of answering Lexa's question, she stepped forward and held her hand out for the dagger.

Recognition flashed across Lexa's face. She didn't question Clarke's motives, or dare to ask if she was sure. She understood that Clarke was allowing Wanheda to show through. This was Clarke's way of showing her people her strength. Yes, she was worried for Clarke, but she was also incredibly proud. She gently placed the dagger in Clarke's palm, and reclaimed her throne.

Clarke raised the knife to Abel's neck, and looked in to his eyes looking for any remorse or fear, but all she saw was defiance. Abel had always been kind to her. She gently applied pressure to the dagger, allowing it to break the skin, and looked for any changes in his eyes. Not seeing any, she brought the dagger down across his neck, and watched as blood trickled from the wound. The cut would kill him slowly, giving anyone who wished to participate time to see his reaction.

Clarke repeated the process with Roni, and then stood back to look in to their eyes again. Neither man was showing any remorse for betraying her, and that hurt. She had thought that they could be trusted. She had been very wrong about that, and left a heavy feeling in the pit of her stomach. She looked up at Lexa, who was looking at her with a look of pride. She nodded her head slightly at Clarke, reassuring her that she had done a good job.

A hand appeared in front of her suddenly. She looked to her left to find that it was Aden who was requesting the dagger. He wore a look of sheer determination, that once again reminded her Lexa. She looked up to Lexa, who nodded her head slightly, and then gently hand him the dagger. She went to stand next to Lexa again, and silently watched as Aden place two cuts on each of the men. One for the woman who he saw as a mother, and the other for his mother's love and his friend.

When he was done, he passed the dagger to the next nightblood, and went to stand next to Titus. Clarke had a hard time watching as each of the children took turns placing their cuts on the men. From what Aden had told her, the nightbloods have never taken part in punishment before. She understood that this was Aden's way of showing that the nightbloods stood behind Lexa and Clarke, and by the looks of the clan leaders, they understood it as well.

Lexa watched Nia carefully as her children each took a turn cutting the men. Outwardly, Nia was calm, but Lexa could see the fire burning in her eyes. She knew Clarke would be safe for a little while, but Nia would come at them again. And this time, she would be ready for her.

Once the nightbloods finished taking their turns, and were standing in a row next to Titus, the ambassadors took their turns. Each showing their loyalty to their Commander. The true test was when it came time for the Clan leaders to take their turns. Standing and taking apart of the ceremony meant they were loyal to Lexa, and accepted Clarke as her lover. To sit and refuse, was a betrayal.

One by one, each Clan Leader rose and accepted the dagger that was being offered, until only Nia was left. Indra, stood proudly in front of the Queen, offering her the dagger with a look that dared her to deny it. It was the ultimate test. To refuse would create discord with the leaders who were loyal to Lexa, and to accept was her outwardly accepting the Lexa won this round. In the end, she accepted the dagger and the defeat that it represented. She would retreat… for the time being.

Lexa ended the ceremony by putting a sword through the traitors' hearts, and dismissed all the Clan Leaders and Ambassadors, while asking the nightbloods and Clarke to remain. The guards took the bodies and stands away, and four keepers came in and quickly cleaned up the spilled blood.

Once the keepers were finished, Lexa turned to the nightbloods. "Sit," she commanded gently, as she gestured to the empty chairs. She turned to Titus, "You are dismissed."

The man looked as though he wanted to argue, but bowed and exited the room. Lexa looked over each of her children's faces. "I am proud of you. Each one of you show true Heda spirit today."

"Mochof Heda," Aden said proudly.

"Take pride in your courage toady, but don't forget that to be Heda doesn't mean you have to be uncaring. Our greatest strength is the love we have for our people, and our willingness to do whatever it takes to keep them safe. Remember that if the sadness beings to consume you. Think not of the lives that we take, but the one that were saved because we had the strength to do what needed to be done."

"Sha Heda," the youngest boy, Cal said.

Lexa nodded her head at the young boy. "Raven is requesting your presence again. She said something about trying out a video game. You are dismissed."

She may not have understood what a video game was, but she did understand the excited looks on their faces, which brought a smile to her face. Once the nightblood had left, she gently pulled Clarke into her lap, wrapping her arms around the blonde's waist tightly.

"How are you?" Lexa asked softly.

Clarke looked at Lexa, and allowed herself to relax into her embrace. "I am better now."

"They respect you now," Lexa said.

"That was the plan," Clarke said.

"But?"

Clarke left out a puffy laugh. "But two people had to die for me to get it."

"They weren't innocent, Clarke. They were traitors," Lexa reminded.

"I was a labeled a traitor too. My father was floated for being a traitor," Clarke said.

"You both were falsely convicted," Lexa said. "They were guilty. They knowingly left their posts, and were attempting to flee Polis."

"I know," Clarke said.

"You were strong today. A true leader. I am proud to have you by my side, and proud to call you mine."

Clarke smiled and then leaned forward to capture Lexa's lips in a tender kiss. "I'm proud to call you mine as well."

"I've invited Raven to dine with us this evening. I thought that you could use a friend after today's meeting."

"You mean I could use a distraction," Clarke summed up.

"Sha," Lexa smiled. "I am looking forward to her explaining what a video game is. Everybody seems very excited over it."

Clarke laughed, and then leaned in for another kiss. She then stood up. "I have to go see Kane. He wants to talk to me about the Skaikru proposal."

"Sha," Lexa said as she stood. "I will walk you. I have something I wish to discuss with him."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Aden joined them for dinner as well as Octavia, who they found guarding the hallway to Lexa's room.( No doubt on Indra's orders.) After speaking with Kane about positioning Skaikru guards with Clarke, Lexa had spoken with Indra about doing the same with Trikru. Lexa wanted to be sure that whomever was guarding her love could be trusted. Who better to watch over Clarke then her own people, and warriors who would die before siding with Azgeda.

While the dinner was pleasant, and Clarke enjoyed spending time with her friends, she could help but watch Aden. She was feeling unsettled by the events of the Harvest's first day of Council meetings, and she was afraid that he was feeling just as unsettled. She had spent a lot of time with the young man since arriving in Polis, allowing her to see a side of him that very few had the privilege to see.

While his demeanor was the same as always, there was a lack of enjoyment that usually filled his voice when he was with her. She could see that his smile didn't reach his eyes, and that worried Clarke. Though she understood that he was a commander in training, and that training meant that he could never have the chance to have a normal childhood, her heart ached for that reason. She wished that this boy didn't have to bare the burdens that he shouldered today. She wished that he hadn't taken part in killing two people. She wished that she could shield him from ever having that guilt placed upon him.

When Octavia stood to excuse herself, claiming that Indra would hang her upside down out a window if she found out she left her post, Raven decided to leave as well. She could feel the tension in the room, as she had all day with the rest of the nightbloods. Deciding that it would be best to leave the couple to sort out whatever was going on, while hoping they would fill her in later.

Lexa walked Raven out, hoping to speak with her for a moment. Raven paused, looking up at the woman from her chair.

"How were the natblida today?" Lexa asked somberly.

Raven sighed heavily. She had noticed that the children weren't as enthusiastic about getting the video game to work as she thought they would be. They were outwardly happy about it, but they weren't even as excited as they had been when she explained what the systems were. There was a sadness to them that only seemed to grow as the day wore on.

"Off," Raven stated, not entirely sure how to explain it to Lexa.

"Off?" Lexa asked confused. She did not understand how the children could be off. It is not like they were dead, which is the only way she knew how to shut 'off' a person.

"Yeah. They seemed different then they usually are," Raven explained. "They seemed like their happy usual selves, but it was like a muted version. Like their flames had been dimmed."

Recognition registered in Lexa's mind. "Oh. I see."

"What happened at that meeting, Lexa?" She asked worriedly. While Clarke had been spending so much time with Aden, she had spent the same amount with the younger nightbloods, and had grown fond of having them around.

"The natblida's showed their respect for Clarke," Lexa said proudly. Though not for the reasons that one may think. She was proud of them for having the courage to walk up to the podiums. She was proud of how well they handled themselves as they made their cuts. But most of all she was proud that they had taken the initiative to insert themselves into the ceremony. However, as proud as she was she still worried for the children she saw as her own.

Raven looked at Lexa numbly, suddenly feeling nauseous. "They… you…they… They're just kids Lexa," she fumbled through her words, flabbergasted at the idea of children taking part of the execution. Sure, she had known that they would be there, but it never occurred to her that they might partake.

Lexa's features hardened. "They are not just goufa, Raven. One of them will be the next commander," she reminded her, attempting to press the fact that they could never be just children. "I could die tonight, Raven, and then they will fight until only the new Commander remains. If that happens, the new Commander must be ready to take my place. They must be ready to do whatever it takes to keep our people safe, and to keep the coalition intact."

Raven looked as though she wanted to hurl. She was absolutely stunned by that revelation. "That's how you choose a new commander? A fight to the death?"

"With a Conclave, sha," Lexa said stoically, containing the little emotions she allowed herself to have. It wasn't as though she didn't understand why Raven suddenly had an angry look on her face. She understood the horrors of the conclave first hand. She remembered what it was like to plunge her knife into the heart of the youngest natblida, Wisp, a boy of only nine. She remembered the look on Luna's face as she stabbed her own brother, and watched as the life drained from his face. She remembered her conclave as though it had happened just yesterday, and she was sure she always would.

This was the worst part about being around the Skaikru. Watching their reactions to her people's cruelest customs. It made it hard to keep her own feeling on such subjects buried deep, a place that she needed them to be in order to do what needed to be done. She could not allow her feeling to rise and cloud her judgment. She could not allow them to make her weak.

"And I was just starting to think that your people were better then what we first thought. I guess I was wrong," Raven stated. She looked past Lexa to where Clarke and Aden were standing in the doorway. She didn't say another word, but shook her head as she turned her chair around.

Lexa watched Raven roll down the hallway, unsure of what she was supposed to do. Was she supposed to go after her, and try to make her understand? That in order to keep the peace that allowed her people safety and gave them a better chance at survival, sacrifices had to be made. That this was how her spirit would choose the new Commander, as it had always done.

Or did she stay there, like she always would? She was not used to people questioning her. Of people critiquing long established customs. She turned to Clarke and Aden, deciding that she would do what she always done.

"Aden," Clarke said quietly. "The book I was talking about is sitting just inside the library doors to the left. It's sitting on top of the table by itself. Will you please get it for me, and I will join you and the others in your common room."

"Sha Clarke," he said quietly, and then left quickly.

"Clarke…" Lexa began, but stopped when Clarke put her hand up.

"I know Lexa. It's how your people do things, but that doesn't change the fact that you send a bunch of kids to die to determine who the Commander will be. That's harsh information, and she needs time to process that."

"And you? Do you need time to process?" Lexa asked, slightly worried that This would cause a rift to form in their relationship.

"Yes," Clarke answered honestly. She would be lying if she said that she wasn't disturbed to learn that the young man she had grown fond of could be dead just days after she lost her love. That thought disturbed her immensely, but she also knew Lexa. She had seen how Lexa was when she was around the nightbloods. How she lit up whenever one of them was in the room. "I know you love them Lexa."

Lexa relaxed ever so slightly and allowed a smile to grace her lips. "Sha. I do."

"I won't pretend that I understand, when I don't. I have no idea how your people choose these kids, or why a fight to the death is how your spirit will choose them. I won't stand here and tell you that I agree with you or think it is alright, because I don't."

"I understand, Clarke," Lexa said diplomatically.

"I was proud of them too, Lexa. I trusted Abel and Roni. They were nice to me, treated me fairly, and I felt safe when they were guarding me. When Aden took that dagger, he was setting an example. He was claiming me as one of you, and showing the leaders that I will have a place, even if you die. I understand that, and for that I was proud. I may not have liked it, but it still made me proud to know they care."

"How do I make Raven understand?"

"You don't," Clarke signed. "I know it's hard for you to look at them and just see kids, but that's what we see. Children who have so much to learn, and have the rest of their lives to do so. You kind of squashed that vision for her. Now every time she sees them, all she will see is their death. Raven enjoys spending time with them, just as much as they do her. She like teaching them about what she knows, and learning with them as they discover something new. Give her time."

"They are my children, Clarke," Lexa admitted quietly. "It pains me to think of what will happen when my spirit chooses a new Commander."

Clarke stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Lexa's waist. "I know you love them," she said quietly, and gently kissed her. She pulled away gently, but kept her hand clasped around Lexa's bicep comfortingly. "I promised Aden I would read to him and the other nightbloods."

"Then you should go," Lexa said. "You'll come back?" She asked almost hesitantly.

"Sha," Clarke said, and then smirked. "You couldn't keep me away."

Lexa smiled gratefully and watched as her love walked down the hall. She looked around the hall, grateful that she had commanded her guards to remain at the entrances to her hallway, instead of outside her doors. She may be okay with Clarke seeing her softer side, but she couldn't afford to allow her people see her as anything but Heda. At least for the moment.

She entered her room, and as the doors closed, she took a moment to gather her emotions. Raven's fury at how her spirit chooses the new Commander reminded her of feelings she had long ago buried. She walked over to her bookshelf, and pulled off a leather-bound book. Taking a seat, she opened the book to a page she had not look at in nearly four years. Written on the page in sloppy scrawl was the starting of how to create a new and better conclave. A way for the next Commander to be chosen, without spilling the blood of the novitiates.

She had begun outlining the plan just days after taking the flame. It was just one of the many things she wished to accomplish during her reign as Heda. It was a child's fantasy, of this she was sure. A way for her to deal with the grief of losing the only family she had, many of whom died at her hands. Then again, many could have said the same about her plan to unite the clans in peace. A plan that she had begun outlining the day after she took the flame. A plan that was successful much sooner than even she could have predicted. So why not begin implementing this one as well?

That question was easily answered for Lexa. Her coalition was still fragile, especially at the moment; what with Nia lurking in the shadows, her plans to bring Skaikru into the alliance, and the announcement of her partnership with Clarke still fresh in the leader's minds. If she was going to implement a new way of choosing The Commander, then it would have to wait until things settled down a little more.

Lexa sighed as she closed the book, resigning herself to focus on more pressing issues. She didn't intend to allow her spirit to choose another for many moons.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Aden had every intention of retrieving the book Clarke sent him for, but as he saw Raven disappear behind the elevator doors, he decided to follow her instead. Which is how he found himself standing outside Raven's room, waiting the woman to allow him entrance.

"Go away Clarke," Raven yelled though the door.

"I am not Clarke," he said, and only had to wait a few seconds before Raven called for him to enter. He pushed open the door to find Raven looking at him with a sad expression on her face. He was still getting used to how easy it is to tell what the Skaikru were feeling just by the look on their faces. His people showed their emotion, but they were more guarded. For some you can only tell what a person is thinking or feeling by spending long amounts of time with them. To get to know them. As a natblida, the only people he spends much time with are the other natblida, Titus, and Heda.

"Did Lexa send you?" Raven asked in a clipped tone.

"No. They do not know that I am here. I am supposed to be fetching a book from the library for Clarke to read to my siblings and I."

A surprised look crossed Raven's features. "I didn't realize you were siblings."

"All natblida are linked by blood, regardless of who our nomon and nontu were," Aden told her.

"Why are you here Aden?"

Aden thought for a moment. He wasn't sure why he had felt the need to visit the woman. There had been something in the way she looked at him when she learned of his fate. Like he needed to help her understand that he was okay with his destiny.

Or perhaps it was to understand what she was thinking. Was there a part of him that agreed with her, even if he had never had such thoughts? Or maybe it's because he didn't like Raven thinking ill of his Heda.

Lexa doesn't like to talk about the conclave," he finally admitted. "Talking about her conclave saddens her, but when she speaks of the conclave that will happen when she dies, its different. Her voice changes, and you can see the pain in her eyes. She tries to hide it, but I've known Lexa since I was just little. I know a battle wages within her. I love Lexa. She is the only nomon I have ever known, and I know she loves us in return."

"If she loves you, then why doesn't she stop it?" Raven argued. "Instead she makes you to take part in murdering two people."

"Heda, didn't order us to partake," Aden declared. "She did not stop Clarke from handing the dagger to me, but it was I who stepped up to take part. The Ice Queen has already taken one of my Heda's loves, and I was with Clarke when Nia stepped in her bedroom to threaten to do the same. Those natrona left their post allowing this possible. Heda needed to make an example of them, and I wanted to help be that example. Now nobody will touch Wanheda, knowing she will be protected even after Lexa's death. I care for Clarke. She's teaching me how to write gonasleng and draw. She is waiting for me right now to bring her a book to read to us. Lexa is the only person who treats us like we are more than just natblidas, and now we have Clarke and you. I am proud that I could do this for her. I am proud that I could do my part to help protect her and her people."

Raven was unsure of what to say to that. She had never had a thirteen-year-old speaking to her with such conviction before. It was touching. Before she could decide what to say to him, Aden was speaking again.

"Our ways seem harsh, but it is how we survive," he said, unknowing mimicking words Lexa had spoken to Clarke weeks before. "It is how we keep peace amongst our people. It is how we stop chaos from taking over. The conclave, as harsh as it is, serves its own purpose. In its own way, it helps keep order among the clans." He glanced out the window at the dying light. "I must go," he said. "Clarke is surely waiting me."

He turned on his heel and reached for the door. He turned his head around and quietly said, "I have faith that Lexa will change the world. With Clarke by her side they can accomplish anything." And then he was gone, leaving Raven to stew in her thoughts.

Clarke was already sitting with his fellow nightbloods, avidly telling them the story about how she fell to earth. She looked up briefly when Aden entered the room, giving him a suspicious look, before returning to her attention the youngest nightbloods.

Aden laid the book on the coffee table in front of Clarke, and then took a seat on the love seat beside her. He listened as Clarke explained her first day on Earth. How she had trekked through the woods, through the glowing forest, on her way to Mount Weather. She told them about the giant snake that attacked Octavia, when she jumped into the creek. He listened as she spoke, grasping on to her every word like it was the greatest tale ever told.

Clarke ended her tale with Jasper swinging across the river to get to Mount Weather, much to the children's disappointment. She promised to pick up the tale at another time, and then reached for the book Aden had brought.

The book was one of her favorite books to read on the Arc, and had been thrilled to find the entire collection buried amongst the other old world books. She opened the book to the first page and began to read. There was a smile on her face, as the words floated smoothly from her lips. This was what she had imagined what Earth would be like. Mundane but peaceful.

"Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much…"

X-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Unseen by Clarke or the natblida, Titus watched them from the shadows. Having spent his whole life living in the tower gave him a better knowledge of all it hiding spots, and secret passages, allowing him to see almost everything that happened.

He had watched the visiting Skaikru with disgust at their disregard for his people's customs, but none more so then Clarke and Raven. He seethed at the thought of his children being corrupt by these invaders. Lexa should have heeded his warnings and decimated Skaikru when she had the chance. Instead, she offered them an alliance, and even invited them into their home. It churned his stomach.

He watched the nightblood's reaction as Clarke read a tale of an orphaned boy who lived under the stairs of his Aunt and Uncle house. He watched until he could no longer hold in his irritation. However, instead of stepping in to put a stopped to it, he turned around and slunk out of the room. As much as he wanted to stop all this nonsense, he couldn't.

At least not yet…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the 100 or the book that is quoted.
> 
> AN: I struggled with this chapter, unsure of how I wanted to play this out. I think I found a way to capture the show, but that's for you to judge. Beja, let me know what you think. It would really help my muse.
> 
> I apologize for any mistakes I may have missed. Feel free to point them out so I can fix them.


	12. More Than Dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Sorry for such a long wait. I appreciate every single review y'all bless me with. I love hearing what you think. I hope that chapter 13 won't give me nearly as much trouble as 12 did. I really struggled with writing this one, and I still not complete sure if I like how it turned out. I feel like my writing style is different, and it's messing with the flow. So for those of you who have read my other stories, I would like you take.
> 
> I apologize for any mistakes I may have missed. I am not the best at editing, and I usually speed through it because otherwise I will continue to change things and you would never get the chapter.

Clarke was exhausted, and not just because she and Lexa had just finished with their third round of love making. No, she was mentally exhausted because she had spent the last four days fighting with the leaders of the clans over Skaikru's proposal. It was a good plan, one that most of the clan leaders had readily agreed to, but that was all they could agree to.

The proposal was simple, Skaikru would teach select members of each clan all they knew about medicine, agriculture, and how to build sturdier buildin&gs, in exchange the clans would teach Skaikru their medicine, how to hunt more efficiently, and for a temporary place in Lexa's coalition. After two months, if everything was running smoothly, the clans could revisit Skaikru's place, and decide if they were to join permanently.

Every clan except Azgeda, (which wasn't a surprise,) agreed to the terms of the alliance. What they did not agree upon was where this training was going to take place. The clan leaders were reluctant to send their people to Skaikru. Clarke could understand their reluctance. Her people did have a tendency to start wars without meaning to, but with so many of their people gone, they needed as many of their trained people in Camp Jaha preparing for the winter.

It made sense to send people to each clan to teach them agriculture. It was something they couldn't really teach them in the abstract. Each clan's land may be different, thus changing how they teach them. The problem they were having was where they would teach the clansmen their medicine. The only Skaikru who are fully trained are Abby and Jackson. Clarke knew enough to get by, but her knowledge was nowhere near as extent as her mother's. Skaikru couldn't spare either of them.

It took some time, but she was able to get a few clans to agree to send their fisa to Camp Jaha, but the majority of the clans only agreed to send their people to Polis if Clarke was there for training. Which led them to another problem. Clarke had no plans on returning to Camp Jaha for an extended period of time.

After Clarke conveyed that she was staying in Polis, Lexa suggested that she teach a few of the clans fisa in the tower while the rest were sent to Camp Jaha. It took another hour, but they had finally came to an agreement. Each clan would send two fisa, one to Clarke and one to Camp Jaha, and two of their strongest people to help build buildings with Skaikru, and two warriors to teach their people how to make the sturdiest weapons and teach them to hunt. Azgeda of course declined the alliance on all sides.

In addition to the treaty talks, Clarke had to be especially careful not to let Kane know that her and Lexa were together. She was sure that he had heard rumors of their coupling, and since he was in charge of her security detail, he must have wondered why Clarke was always with Lexa. She just didn't want to confirm anything until she had a chance to talk to her mother, and the rest of the hundred.

That had been the most exhausting part of the last four days. Having to remember not to touch Lexa, or look at her in ways that would be telling, was not an easy feat. Than having bickering clan's leaders around you only made it more taxing.

Clarke was so happy that they had finally gotten all the clans to agree to terms of the alliance, that she had barely waited for the door to their room to close before she began ripping Lexa's clothing off. She was thankful that Lexa wasn't wear her battle paint for the meetings.

She was even more thankful that she and Lexa had stopped tiptoeing around their relationship and were finally enjoying this part. With the nausea that she had felt since she landed on Earth gone, she seemed to be bursting with sexual energy, and when she was around Lexa, that energy was nearly explosive.

Clarke had enjoyed the night she spent with Finn, but Lexa could run circles around him. Literally! There was this move Lexa did with her tongue that drove Clarke crazy. If she wasn't mistaken, Lexa would draw words across her clit, driving her to the edge, only to stop and repeat the process until she begged her to make her climax.

Lexa seemed to have an endless supply of energy, which was good because Clarke's libido seemed to have a bottomless pit. The more Lexa pushed her into the abyss, the more she craved it again, until Clarke was a floppy pile of spent bones. Which Clarke did not mind at all.

Lexa made her forget the reason why she was so exhausted, and her marvelous tongue pushed into the kind of exhausted that make all the dreams she had been having disappear. That was something she was even more grateful for. It really was a package deal.

Clarke fell asleep not long after Lexa crawled back up her body, placing tender kisses as she did. Even with the threat of Nia, she felt incredibly safe in Lexa's arms. It was her favorite place to be. Unfortunately, this was not one of those nights that she slept a dreamless sleep.

She woke just a few hours after falling asleep, breathing heavily, tears already flooding her eyes. This dream had been the worst one she had. Careful not the wake Lexa, she rolled out of bed and padded across the room quietly. Images of her nightmare flooded her mind, making her act on auto pilot as she pulled out the art supplies Lexa had given her. She spread the pictures she had already completed over the floor as she looked for a blank sheet, and then began to draw her nightmare on to the papers.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Lexa was startled awake hours before the sun was due to rise. She laid perfectly still as she listened for what had woken her. She could hear scratching coming from across the dimly-lit room, and quiet muttering. She reached across the bed to feel for Clarke, but her love wasn't there. She rolled over to face the door, and froze at the sight that met her.

Clarke was sitting on the floor naked, feverishly moving a stick of charcoal across a sheet of paper, while muttering to herself. There were papers strung across the floor around her, seemingly thrown there in hast.

Lexa stood and grabbed her night gown from the bed post. She slipped it on, then grabbed one of the furs from her bed. She carefully stepped across the cool floor so her movements wouldn't startle Clarke. She expected Clarke to stop drawing when she draped the fur over her, but she didn't seem to even notice.

"Clarke," she said softly. Once again, the woman seemed to not notice Lexa's presence. Lexa kneeled beside Clarke, and picked up the closest sheet of paper. When she looked at the sketch, her heart seized in her chest. "Clarke, where have you seen this man? Have you spoken to him?"

Clarke muttered something that Lexa couldn't understand. Lexa reached out and quickly snatched the pencil out of Clarke's hand. Clarke turned her head sharply, just now noticing that Lexa was awake. "Black blood," she muttered to Lexa. "Black blood," she repeated, and then turned quickly turned around and grabbed the knife Lexa kept hidden beneath the coffee table.

Before Lexa could comprehend what Clarke was doing, the blonde had spun around and swiped the knife across Lexa's forearm. She looked down at the small cut in shock, before lifting her head to look at Clarke.

Clarke had dropped the knife and was staring at the small cut blankly. A drop of blood slipped from the cut and began running down her arm. Lexa watched as Clarke smeared the blood, creating a black streak against pale skin.

"You have black blood," Clarke finally said clearly.

"Sha Clarke," Lexa said confused.

"This is how you were chosen to be a natblida? Because you have black blood."

"Sha Clarke," Lexa repeated.

Clarke looked up at Lexa. "Show me your neck," she demanded softly.

"Clarke?" Lexa asked.

"Please Lexa," Clarke snapped. She took a deep breath to calm herself. Lexa didn't deserve to be spoken to so harshly. "Please Lexa," she said gentler. "Please show me your neck."

Lexa nodded and then turned to allow Clarke to see her neck. Clarke took a deep breath, steadying herself for what she was about to do. For weeks, she had been avoiding looking at Lexa's neck, afraid to find the infinity symbol tattooed over a scar. She brought her hand up and gently moved Lexa's wavy hair to the side and then rested her hand on Lexa's shoulder.

A tear fell as she gazed upon the infinity tattoo on Lexa's neck. For weeks, she had been reliving every moment she spent with Lexa before the first dream, trying desperately to remember if she had ever seen it. She was sure that Lexa always kept her hair covering it. She had no way to explain how she knew anything from that first dream. She had never seen the tattoo, she had never seen Titus, and she was positive that Lexa had never mentioned that she had an AI in her head. She was at a loss to explain it scientifically.

She ran her thumb over the tattoo and then slid it along the vertical scar lying underneath the middle of the infinity symbol. Taking in the fact that her dream had shown her this before her eyes had ever laid upon it.

Lexa turned slowly, shivering at the sensitive touch from Clarke's hand. "Clarke?" She asked again, and then brought her hand up to her face. She gently ran her thumb over Clarke's cheek, wiping away the single tear that had fallen.

Clarke gazed Lexa's worried eyes. "I…" She sighed, and then took a deep breath. "I think I'm losing my mind. I'm dreaming about things I've never seen before. Of people, I am positive I have never seen before."

Lexa eyebrows furrowed in confusion, and then gently pushed her girlfriend back into the couch. She made her sit down, before heading backs to the bed to grab Clarke's nightgown. She handed it to Clarke, gently instructing her to put it on, and then began collecting the pictures that were scattered across the floor.

"Tell me about your dreams," she gently said as she sat next to Clarke. "Which one was the first?"

Clarke looked at Lexa for a moment, before taking the stack of drawings from her. She flipped through them, pulling out each drawing she had created from the dream where Titus shot Lexa, cringing as she did. She put the pictures in order before handing them to Lexa.

She watched Lexa closely as she studied each picture, before moving onto the next. Lexa was trying to remain calm, but there was a subtle increase in her breath, and there was a crease that always formed between her eyes when she was worried about something.

"When did you dream of this?" Lexa asked. Her voice was slightly shaky. Not so shaky that anybody but Lexa's closest people would be able to tell, but Clarke could hear it.

"The first time I dreamt about that we were in Ton DC. It happened the night of the celebration," Clarke said. "The dream ended when he shot you. After that I began dreaming about it almost every night. Each time a little more was revealed."

Lexa repeatedly flipped through the pictures. Her stomach churned with every new drawing, hoping her theory was wrong. If she was right, that meant Titus was going to betray her in the future, and that betrayal would lead to her death. "What was said?" She looked up at Clarke. "What did Titus say?"

Clarke replayed the dream for Lexa word for word. As she spoke the words, it was like the dream began to replay in her mind. "… that he said that you might be angry enough to declare war and then fired at me."

Lexa, who had begun flipping through the drawings as Clarke spoke, looked up sharply when Clarke spoke the word war. "You're sure that is what he said. That I would declare war if you were gone."

Clarke nodded her head.

Anger flashed across Lexa's face, before turning her head to her shelves. Clarke's description of dream Titus' words reminded her of something the man had once said to her. It had been just a few days after she found Costia's head, when he told her that she could declare war on Azgeda now that she was gone. At the time, she had assumed he said that because he thought Costia made her weak, but what if it had been more? What if he had meant it another way?

Lexa pushed the feeling aside. She couldn't worry about her past love, when her current love was sitting next to her in turmoil. She would analyze her memories later. She flipped to the last drawing, and held it out for Clarke to see. On the page was a picture of the AI in Lexa's head.

"You dreamt about the flame," Lexa stated. "I have not told you about the flame."

"No, you haven't," Clarke said, and then took the picture. She ran her finger over the drawing. "Somebody must have said something to me. Maybe you described it to somebody while I slept."

Lexa grabbed the stack of drawings from Clarke, and flipped through them to find the first drawing she picked up. She gasped when her eyes fell on the drawing Clarke had been working on when she woke. "Clarke, have you seen this woman in Polis?" she asked.

"No. I don't know where I've seen her," Clarke answered. She was looking at the picture in disgust. Her stomach was still rolling from the horrific dream, and seeing the results only made it worse.

Lexa tried to pull her eyes away from the drawing, but her eyes were glued to the woman holding Aden's severed head. She knew who the woman was. She allowed the image to be burnt into her mind before flipping to the picture she was looking for. She handed the picture to Clarke as she asked, "And him? Where have you seen him?"

"I don't know Lexa. We were still in Ton DC when I dreamt that. I don't remember seeing him anywhere."

"Are you positive?" Lexa pressed.

"Sha. Lexa, do you know who these people are?"

"Sha Clarke," Lexa said. "You dreamt of Titus before meeting him, so maybe these are the same," Lexa said quietly, almost to herself.

"It's not possible to see people before you meet them," Clarke said.

"And yet you are," Lexa said gently. She handed the picture of Aden to Clarke. "This is Ontari. I've only met her a few times, but I would remember those markings anywhere. She's Queen Nia's pet. Rumored to be next in line for the throne. According to Nia, Ontari isn't in Polis. She is in the Azgeda capital overseeing the City."

"And the other one? Who is he?" Clarke asked quietly.

Lexa looked at the picture. "This is Roan, Prince of Azgeda."

"Nia's son?"

"Sha," Lexa nodded distractedly. "If you've seen him here in the city, then your life is in danger."

"Why?"

Lexa looked up at Clarke, allowing the blonde to see the fire raging in her eyes. "Several months before Costia was murdered, an attempt for her life was made here in the tower. Roan was ordered by Nia to kill Costia, and he nearly succeeded in doing so."

"And you let him live?" Clarke was surprise by that, after all, they had executed two people for a crime that was for less than attempted murder.

"Sha, because Costia wished for him to live, and I agreed. Roan was a better asset alive then dead. We kept him locked up in the cellar until Nia's concession. I banished him once Nia had taken the brand. A peace offering of sorts."

"To who? Nia, or the future king of Azgeda?"

Lexa smile softly, marveling at how Clarke instantly picked up on her motives. "You were born to lead Clarke," she said softly.

"I'm too weak to lead anybody," Clarke sighed heavily.

Lexa tucked a loose strand of hair behind Clarke's ear. "You are stronger than you think."

Clarke looked at Lexa with an incredulous look. She repeatedly poked the stack of papers in Lexa's lap as she frantically stated, "I'm going crazy. I'm dreaming about people I have never seen, and events that have never happened. It's making me insane."

Lexa chuckled. She tried not to, but Clarke looked so adorable when she was being irrational. "You are not going insane, ai hodnes. I will not allow the dreams to take your mind, as they have to other prophets?"

Clarke was pretty sure her crazy was rubbing off on Lexa. "Prophets?"

"Sha Clarke. You are not going crazy. You have been gifted with the ability to see the future." She had said the words with such sincerity that Clarke could only stare at her, unsure of how to respond. A fact that Lexa picked up on. "There are no stories of prophets amongst the Skaikru?" she asked.

"There are many stories about prophets from the old world, but they are fiction."

"Fiction?" Lexa asked confused.

"Stories that are made up. Like the books I am reading the kids." Clarke clarified.

"Harry Potter?" Lexa asked.

"Sha," Clarke confirmed. "There is a teacher in the book who can predict the future, but it's all just make believe."

"Oh," Lexa said. She stood suddenly, and strolled to her bookshelf. She returned a minute later with a stack of faded journals. She set the stack on the table and resumed her place next to Clarke. "Do you remember when I told you the name my people dubbed you?"

"That Wanheda was a legend passed down through the generations, and…" she looked at Lexa. "You mentioned prophecies, but I didn't think anything of it. Your people believe in many things that my people don't."

"The same can be said about your people," Lexa smiled. "I was looking over some of the journals written in English, and I think I found the prophecy about Wanheda."

"You did?" Clarke asked surprised. "How? I haven't even taught you the basics of reading yet."

"I recognized a few words from when you read to me," Lexa said. She picked up the top book and flipped through the pages. She read through the passage she believed to be the prophecy silently and then offered the book to Clarke.

Clarke accepted the book, and quietly read over the passage. She looked up at Lexa in surprise, and then back to the book. Aloud she read, "As the first century after the cataclysm dies, a star will fall from the sky amongst a hundred friends. This blonde hair beauty will bring death to the commander's enemies, and together they will defy the past and bring about a peace not seen since before the fall of the bombs."

"Am I right?" Lexa asked.

Clarke looked up from the book, and quietly asked, "How?" She rubbed her hand over the worn, fading page as though to unlock its secrets. There was no doubt in her mind that this was written well before she had even fallen the sky. "How?" She repeated, then looked to Lexa, silently asking the question again.

Lexa smiled at Clarke comfortingly. "Prophets have ruled side by side the Commander since Becca Pramheda. The legend goes that once the fire cleared Polis, Becca set out to find others. During her search she came across Emmy, the first Flamekeeper, and together they ruled. One who knew the past and one who could see the future."

"Wait," Clarke said suddenly. "So, Titus is a prophet?"

"No," Lexa sighed sadly. "There hasn't been a prophet discovered in over twenty years. Titus's father was the last. Titus grew up here in the tower, and helped his father take care of the young natblida. He learned everything her could. When his father was murdered by an Azgeda assassin, he was the most qualified to take over the position."

"And you really believe that people can see the future?" Clark asked, merely for clarification than anything else.

"Sha Clarke. There are many journals written in Trigedasleng that depict prophecies coming true," Lexa said.

Clarke looked down to the forgotten pile of pictures. Laying atop the pile was the picture that haunted her the most. Lexa's lifeless body sprawled across her bed as she kneeled beside her, black blood covering them both.

Lexa heart seized in her chest when Clarke looked to her with teary eyes, and said, "If you are right, that means you are going to die soon."

Up until that point Lexa had been so focused on making sure Clarke was okay, that she neglected that one detail drawn across several sheets of parchment. Titus's betrayal meant that she would soon die, something that she has never feared before she met Clarke. It was in that moment, watching Clarke look at her with tear filled eyes that she realized that now she had something to live for; someone to live for.

She had spent so much of her life learning that she was merely a vessel for the Commander's spirit to serve her people, that she often forgot that she is a woman. A simple girl with big dreams.

"Then we'll just have to make sure that your dreams don't come true," Lexa declared with conviction.

"Lexa…" Clarke began, but as unsure of what to say.

"No. I refuse to leave you. We will find a way."

"Is it even possible?" Clarke asked. She still wasn't convinced that she is a prophet, but if she had learned anything from her time on Earth is to forget everything she had been taught. A lot of her ideology had already been proven false.

"I don't know," Lexa said, her conviction deflating slightly. She looked at the pile of journals, and then to her bookshelf. "I don't know, but we are going to scour through every book in this tower until we find an answer."

Lexa stood suddenly, startling Clarke. She strolled to the door, and slowly peeked out the door. Her guards weren't stationed at her doors any longer. She had been ordering them to remain at the entrances of the hall way, this way she had a better chance of protecting Clarke if there were an attack.

She could see Octavia, looking tired but determined, standing across from Indra at the end of the hall. Slowly she crept across the hall, avoiding alerting the other guards stationed out of sight. Both women noticed her a few feet before she reached them.

"Heda," Octavia immediately said. "Is everything alright? Is Clarke alright?"

Lexa nodded her head. "Clarke is fine. We have been discussing plans about our people's future." She spoke words of truth, but they were spoken more for any eavesdroppers. She dropped her voice to ensure that only Indra and Octavia could hear her, "I need you to quietly bring Raven and Aden to my room at once, and station new guards here. We have a very important mission to accomplish." Indra and Octavia nodded their heads, and left without another word, despite the aching need to ask why.

When Lexa entered her room a few moments later, Clarke was already on the floor going through her pictures again. She paused for a moment, unsure if she should help Clarke with her task or begin working on the books. Clarke looked up at her and she knew what she had to do. Gone were the tears that had glistened her beautiful eyes just moments before, replaced with a look a sheer determination.

Lexa moved across the room and knelt beside Clarke and place a soft kiss on her forehead. "Ai hod yu in," she said softly.

"I love you too Lexa," Clarke choked. "I won't let this happen."

"I have faith in you," she replied, and then dropped another kiss on Clarke's forehead.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Raven reluctantly allowed Octavia to roll her out of her bedroom, and through the tower towards Lexa's room. She had just fallen asleep, in her own bed none-the-less. Surely whatever the crisis was could wait until morning?

Octavia refused to answer her questions. Well that wasn't exactly true. Every time Raven question why she had been rudely awoken, Octavia shushed her. It was all very rude in Raven's book. None-the-less she allowed Octavia to push her through the building right into Lexa and Clarke's room. It was then that she fully awoke and stopped questioning if this could wait until the morning.

Clarke was floor furiously moving sheets of papers around. She didn't even seem to notice that they had entered the room. Indra and Lexa were sitting on the couch, a book in both their hands, while a mountain was piled up in front of them. Aden was sitting in the arm chair with his own book. There was another mountain of books piled up on the floor in front of the coffee table.

"What happened?" Raven asked, suddenly very awake and even more concerned.

Aden turned to look up at them and solemnly sighed, "Clarke's a prophet, and she seen mine and Heda's deaths."

"Aden," Indra sharply said.

"It is fine Indra," Lexa said as she rose to meet the newest arrivals. Both of whom were staring at the group strangely. "Despite Aden's brash way of announcing the news to you, he is right."

Raven looked up at Lexa and then bagan to laugh. Loudly and uncontrollably. She was fairly certain that she was still asleep, and was having some crazy ass dreams. Obviously, she had been pushing herself too hard and needed to go to bed earlier.

Clarke, who had remained engrossed in her pictures, looked at Raven with an unreadable look. Inside she was feeling angry, but given that she had only just accepted that Lexa was speaking the truth could also understand why Raven was laughing. If she were in Raven's position she probably would be laughing too. It was incredibly farfetched. She did believe her now though. She had to believe it, because if Lexa was correct than she wasn't losing her mind and maybe, just maybe they had a chance to change her dreams.

Instead of scolding Raven, she stood with a picture in hand, and deposited it in her lap. Raven sobered when she saw the strange look of Clarke's face, and looked down at the paper in her lap. The tears that had sprung in her eyes from her intense laughter, turned into ones of sadness. In her hands was a picture black haired woman from Azgeda holding Aden's severed head outstretch for a group of people to see.

"It's hard to believe," Clarke said. "I didn't believe it either at first. Things are so different here on Earth. They believe things that we've only read in fairytales, but I must believe this. I have to believe that this is the reason why I am dreaming about people and things that I have never seen or heard of before."

"I…" Raven choked, and then looked back down at the picture. "What can we do?"

"Clarke is trying to put her pictures into a timeline, while the rest of us scour through these books to find any reference to a prophet changing the outcome of their dreams."

"But we don't read Trigedasleng," Octavia said.

Lexa pointed to the pile of books on the floor. "All those are written in English. I can only read a few words," Lexa said.

As she made her way back to her pile of pictures, Clarke commented, "Which is more than she could three weeks ago." Her comment went unnoticed by everybody except Lexa.

"Clarke, can I see the rest of those pictures?" Raven asked, curious about Clarke's new ability.

Clarke looked reluctant at first, but organized the pictures. Raven slowly flipped through the stack, looking over every detail. She spent an incredibly long time looking over the series of pictures Clarke drew about the AI in Lexa's head. She wanted to ask Lexa right then and there about it, but filed it away instead. It wasn't the time for her inner geek to be released.

"Are these in order?" Octavia, who had been looking over Raven's shoulders, asked.

"In the way I dreamt them, but I don't think they are in order in which they occur," Clarke replied.

"How do you think they happen?" Raven asked.

"I just dreamt about the natblida's deaths, and I think that is the last event. Lexa's death comes right before that. Leaving Lexa's fight with Roan first."

"Any ides when this fight happens?" Raven asked.

"No," Clarke said frustrated.

"Can you remember anything about that dream that you may have over looked, or haven't drawn?"

Clarke glared at Raven. Frustrated because she could remember anything that beyond that fight.

Lexa came up behind her, and wrapped her arms around her. "It's alright ai hodnes. You will remember something that can help. Until then let's learn everything we can about you dreams, and if we can stop them from happening."

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Titus had been awoken in the middle of the night by a mysterious reason. He laid his bed listening to his surroundings, listening for any change. Something was wrong, he knew it. Growing up with a prophetic father had given him a sense of intuition to his surroundings, and his surroundings extended through the lengths of the tower.

He rose from his bed, quietly dressed, and then slipped from his room. He navigated through the halls, avoiding the guards when he could, and slipping into hidden passageways when he couldn't. Nearly forty years in the tower had given him an insight to the tower that no other occupant could claim. Not Even Lexa could claim to know the tower better than him.

His first stop was to check on his children, which was made easier now that they were all on the same floor. Until ten years ago all the nightbloods were kept on their respective clan's floor, but thanks to his guidance, they were all on one floor. A floor that conveniently had an entrance to one of the towers many passages.

He walked into his children's common room quietly, just in case one of the nightbloods were slumbering there. It had been a week since he had found Clarke reading to them, which had been a recurring event since. He often found Aden lying on the couch with a book in hand. She had been teaching him to read during their time together. A fact that he despised. If his plan was to continue working as well as it has been, then the next Heda must remain illiterate in terms of the English language.

Aden was not on the couch. Titus turned and headed straight to the boy's room to search for him. A rage washed over him like none before. He stormed out of the room, no longer caring if he woke the other natblida. He knew exactly where Aden was, and that was exactly where he was heading.

He didn't bother keeping up discretion by using the passageways, and went to the stairs. They were quicker than waiting for the elevator to reach the floor and then take him up. His rage only mounted when he saw a Skaikru guard standing next to a Sentry, as it did whenever he saw one of them in his home.

His rage only increased when the Sentry and Skaikru guard bared him from entering Lexa's floor. "What is the meaning of this?" He demanded rather calmly considering how angry he was. He hadn't come this far to ruin his guise over Skaikru scum.

"Heda wishes to be left alone," replied the Sentry.

Not wanting the Skaikru guard to understand what he was saying, he decided to switch to Trigedasleng. "Surely Heda does not mean me. I am her most trust servant. You will let me pass or I will have you hung from the trees for disobeying me."

The Sentry, who was named Archie, understood exactly why Titus was speaking in their native tongue, which infuriated him. Ever since the Skaikru began patrolling the tower alongside them, he had grown fond of them. It was a rough few days at first, but they each began to grow accustom to each other's ways. Now Titus was trying to exclude a Skaikru guard because he thought he could get one over on him. To make him bow to his will, but it wasn't going to work. He had his orders, and James, the Skaikru guard, was a part of those orders.

In Gonasleng, he spoke, "I take orders from you only after I take orders from Heda."

James, suddenly understanding what was happening, moved even closer to Archie. "And I don't take orders from you at all. My orders were to remain here until I am relieved and let no one pass. That includes you."

Titus wanted to huff in annoyance and frustration, but that would also be act that would potentially ruin his guise. He barely refrained from doing so however, and then turned back towards the staircase. He retreated to his room, like a wounded puppy to lick his battered ego in peace, and to begin planning his next move.

He didn't know how Clarke had managed to sink her claws into Lexa as fast as she did, but with a few strategic moves, he could rid this world of that nuisance. Lexa would hurt for a while, as she had when he snuffed the life out of her precious Costia, but she would be better for it. She would rise stronger the she was before, and if his plans worked as well as he hoped, she would decimate every last Skaikru.


End file.
